Enjoying Free Activities in NYC

Last Saturday, we actually got some sun! (We've only had 5 days in June that it hasn't rained.) I enjoyed getting out on my bike for a nice ride up the West side, where there is a protected bike path, and then I stopped for some free kayaking in the Hudson River.
I learned about the kayaking last year, and it's such a treat. It's FREE and all you have to do is sign a waiver and they let you borrow a lifejacket and kayak. I was out for about 30 minutes. I figure it's a good arm workout after my hour on the bike for my legs.

Saturday night, it rained as I was walking over to the East River for a free opera performance. "River to River" is a series of performances by musical artists that occurs at different venues on the Hudson and East Rivers. Saturday was a performance by the NY Opera and Orchestra, and one of the tenors attends my church. He occasionally sings solos at church and awes us all with his world-class talent. There were several singers who performed a collection of songs from various operas, including Rigoletto and the Barber of Seville.

The rain was pretty heavy as I walked over to the venue, but it cleared up just before performance time and we were treated to several rainbows over the stage. The whole thing was beautiful.

This Makes Me Mad

A story in Newsweek reports on a recent psychological experiment where participants were shown photos of women's and men's faces looking sad, afraid, angry or disgusted, with a sentence beneath each image purporting to explain the emotion, such as "buried a family pet" for a sad face, or "was threatened by an attacker" for a fearful one. The participants offered starkly different explanations for the emotions, saying that the women were "emotional" while the men were "having a bad day" even when the expressions and explanations were identical. So while the men were perceived to have a feeling because of context, women were perceived to be temperamental or have an emotional nature.

Women are often touted as the more emotional sex, and it's not considered a positive thing. But the scientific evidence to support that theory is skimpy. This study concluded "The stereotype of the overly emotional female is grounded in the belief that women express emotion because they are emotional creatures, but men express emotion because the situation warrants it. Regardless of whether women are objectively more emotionally expressive, people attribute their emotional behaviors to a more emotional nature."

This annoys me because I've actually been told in the past by a boss [who I couldn't stand] that I am "too emotional." I describe myself as passionate, and wouldn't you want someone who is passionate about what they do rather than someone who doesn't give a damn?

The Future of Dating?

This was sent to me by a friend and gave me a chuckle.
I wish this technology was available now!

Incredible Entertainment

Last week, my mom and I attended Andrea Bocelli's concert at Madison Square Garden. It was absolutely fantastic. He sang mostly classical opera pieces, but he also had a couple of other styles thrown in here and there, such as "My Way," which he sang while playing the piano.



He was joined by a full orchestra and choir and special guests, including a fantastic soprano and a world-class flutist. He gave an incredible seven encores, and the audience was enthusiastic in its appreciation.


I had seen Andrea Bocelli perform as one of the many performers at the Concert for Diana in London in 2007, and he was one of my favorites. His talent is unmistakeable, and his blindness is only evident in that he closes his eyes while singing and doesn't make any gestures with his hands or arms. It's all in his beautiful voice.

The Hamptons, Dahling

You need a certain amount of activity to provide fodder for a blog, but too much activity, and there's no time or energy to blog! This week has been a whirlwind. Besides work being consistently busy (still so thankful to have a good job in this economy), I've had dinner with an old colleague, been keeping up with exercise, seen a fantastic concert, and cleaned my apartment in preparation for my mom's visit. (I usually clean up on the weekend, but since I've been gone the last two weekends, it was sorely needing scrubbing, dusting and vacuuming!)

Last weekend, I got an amazing invitation to a house in the Hamptons from one of my vendors. The Hamptons is a collection of towns on the eastern edge of Long Island, most of which end in "-hampton" like South Hampton, East Hampton, Bridgehampton. I was actually in Sag Harbor, but it's that same general area and so is considered in "the Hamptons."

We've been experiencing very strange weather here in the northeast with temperatures so mild they are bordering on cold and a seemingly endless supply of rain. It doesn't feel like summer at all. But I'm not complaining because most of my family is sweltering in the Texas heat. Last weekend we had a few patches of sun, but it was still pretty cool, with highs only in the low 70's F (22C). So, due to the weather and the accommodations, I never left the house we were staying at.

I took a three-hour train ride out there, and the masses of people trying to cram on the train was overwhelming. But I didn't want to miss it and have to wait for the next one in two hours, so I pushed my way into the car, finding a middle seat and a place for my suitcase. It seemed like everyone from NYC was headed out there!

I overheard two girls talking on the way there, and at one point, one said, "It would be so lonely to be on this train alone!" But I didn't feel lonely. I enjoyed the quiet time, time to myself.

The house is beautiful, with 5 bedrooms, 6 baths and two dens with extra sleeping space (aka sofas), a clay tennis court and a heated pool. It's surrounded by trees and has an eclectic collection of artwork. There were only a few of us who got there on Friday night, and we played Rock Band and an American Idol game. (I love to sing and blew everyone away getting perfect scores on singing. Ha!) Saturday started out nice weather-wise, so I "played tennis" with some of the other guests. I put it in quotes because I've never played tennis before although I used to watch it on TV with my dad. We just focused on hitting the ball back and forth and didn't keep score or worry if the ball bounced twice. We played for a couple hours, and it was a great workout!

Then we headed down to the pool, and while originally I was so hot from playing tennis, the warm, heated water wasn't as refreshing as I'd hoped, as the afternoon wore on and the wind grew colder, the warm water was comforting. We stayed in the water to avoid getting out and being too cold!

I have to say, though, it was the first time I can remember feeling confident in a bikini. I've lost a total of 24 pounds through all the diet changes and exercising and training for the triathlon. And I finally feel good about my body. Oh, and all the single guys there were flirting with me. :-)

One of the guys grilled tuna steaks for dinner on Saturday, and they were SO good. We all hung out and talked and played games until late into the night. Sunday was recuperation and travel home, but all in all in was a great weekend.

Piano & Swimming

I've been too busy to post lately, so I've got some "stored material" here.

In addition to the tri, the days I was in Austin were filled with many activities the kids were doing. I was so pleased to get to attend their piano recital and swim meet.

Colin looked so dapper in his almost-suit outfit that Nana bought him for the cruise. And both kids did REALLY well on their performances. (Remember they've only been playing for a few months.)






At the swim meet, one of the parents draws elaborate artwork on the kids. He draws in permanent marker to last through the swimming (and a few more days), and his talent is really incredible. Anna and Colin's swim team is the Piranhas and they were competing against the Sharks, so Anna's design has the piranhas attacking the shark.

Here's Anna's last event, the breaststroke. Although she's last to finish in this heat, her technique looks good!

More Tri Pics

Just a few more pictures I received today from the Tri...

My niece Anna grabbed my hand at the end of the run and crossed the finish line with me. She looks much more exuberant than I do at that point!

I am a Triathlete

This year was my third time to join my big sister Jenn on the Danskin Triathlon in Austin, TX. I knew the heat was going to kick my butt, and it did. But I was VERY pleased with my overall time.

The first year, in 2006, it took me 2 hours and 32 minutes to complete the whole thing (1/2 mile swim in open water in a lake, 12 miles biking on a very hilly course, and 3.1 miles running/walking also on a hilly course).

The second year, 2007, I shaved a little time off and completed in 2 hours and 29 minutes.

I skipped last year, due to moving to NYC and other factors. But I really missed it, and committed to doing it again this year.

And my completion time this year? 2 hours and 8 minutes! Yay! I did better in each event and was quicker on my transition times (the time between events when you change gear). The hardest time for me was on the run. It was really warm by then, and I felt like I was going to vomit the entire time. (I didn't, though.) I had to walk quite a bit, but I finished jogging. My niece Anna grabbed my hand and crossed the finish line with me.

Jenn did terrific as always, finishing in 1 hour 49 minutes.




Afterwards, we had our usual post-race brunch at a little Mexican restaurant that has delicious migas and fresh, homemade tortillas with Jenn's friend Kareen.


We've been pretty much vegetables since we finished this morning. My muscles don't hurt, but everything is very tired. Jenn and I each took a nap this afternoon, but I will be ready to go to sleep early tonight. And as sick as I felt during the run (and right after), I'm glad I did it and proud of my time. Still gotta catch Jenn, though...

Green Eyes

Here is a picture showing GED's beautiful eyes. As the story goes...

Back in 1998, I was dating a guy (who became ex-husband #2) who was taking a special training course at work. He called me to come meet some of his colleagues from Holland who were also in the class, and I went to meet them at the bar of a Texas steakhouse. When I walked in, I said hello to my boyfriend and he introduced his new friends. I shook hands with the first, then the second, and when I locked eyes with the third, I exclaimed, "Oh my God, you have beautiful eyes!" Immediately, I blushed when I realized I had said that out loud, and he laughed. (He told me later he wondered if this was how American women greeted new friends!) I was so embarrassed, although it was an honest statement, and we somehow managed to get past that pretty quickly and had a lovely evening all getting to know each other. They were in Texas for 6 weeks or so, and we all hung out together many times and kept in touch afterwards.

Green eyes are the rarest color. And strangely, I've dated three guys (including GED) with green eyes. I must be drawn to them in some way.

An Amazing Visit

When it rains, it pours, the saying goes. And it certainly has been an unusual week for me.

Just days after Aloha Guy left, I got another visitor. This one had been planned for some time, but I didn't want to write about it beforehand. I wanted to see how it would go first.

Nearly nine years ago, I had a relationship with a guy from Holland. I fell madly in love with this Green-Eyed Dutchman, but he ended up breaking my heart. Of course, now I can understand why he chose what he did at the time (he had a daughter and decided to try to make it work with her mother), but it was a terrible time for me when it ended. Over the last nine years, we've kept in touch sporadically, an occasional phone call or email every couple years or so. But each of us has been going through various relationships, and when he got in touch with me a few months ago, it was the first time we were both unattached and single at the same time. 

We both were curious to see if there were any feelings still left between us, and agreed we should see each other. He now lives in Barcelona, and neither of us had been to the other's city before. We decided he should come to NYC because as a European he has much more vacation time than I do, the flights were cheaper coming this way then the reverse, and I felt he owed me after the ending nine years ago.

For the past four days, I've been playing tour guide, and we saw all the famous sites including Times Square, Central Park, Rockefeller Center, 5th Avenue, Grand Central, the United Nations building, the Empire State Building, the Statue of Liberty, the Brooklyn Bridge, Little Italy, Soho and the West Village. It was so easy to be with the Green-Eyed Dutchman again, and exciting, too. There are definitely strong feelings between us, but neither one of us is ready to make a decision about what to do next.

He told me I look great (so glad I've been losing weight and training for the tri!) and that I seem like a stronger person now, not just physically but emotionally too. He looks older, but not much different than before, and he seems wiser and more grounded than years ago. We talked about everything and nothing. He annoyed me with the way he loves to pick fights about different things, but we also had some great laughs, comfortable silences, and romantic evenings. I cried to see him go, but I'm hopeful to see him in a few months or so with him playing tour guide in Barcelona.

The Long Birthday Weekend

My birthday was on Sunday. This year is an odd-number year for me, and for some reason, I don't like odd numbers as much as even ones. Something about a number being divisible by two makes me feel more balanced. Strange, I know, but both times I married (which if you haven't been reading long, didn't work) were in odd-number years.

To prepare for facing another year, I treated myself to a spa on Saturday. I found a package deal online that included everything I wanted for an amazing price -- body scrub, massage, and facial, plus they give you champagne and chocolate! (Although, that was a bit strange. It's a day spa, so it's in a regular office building, tucked away on the fourth floor, looking completely nondescript from the outside. Upon entering, they had soft music and lighting, and the rooms were comfortable and clean. They gave me the champagne and one single chocolate after my treatments, and showed me to a small table and chair and surrounded me with a folding room divider. So I sat, looking at the room divider, eating my chocolate while sipping champagne!) The staff is all Eastern European, and the woman doing my facial asked me in a heavy accented voice how old I am. When I told her my still-thirtysomething age, she remarked in surprise that she thought I was much younger! (This is not just good customer service, folks. She was looking at my face with that bright light and magnifying lens.)

On Sunday, Aloha Guy arrived, having taken the red-eye flight in from LA. We met at my place before going to church. When he had originally asked me what my plans were for my birthday, I told him all I had planned was church, and he asked if he could go with me. I was pleased he wanted to. After church, I have choir practice, but the jetlag was catching up to him by then, so he retired for several hours to his hotel. Later that afternoon, we met up and did some touristy things and had a late dinner at one of my favorite places in Tribeca. Oh, and some nice kisses. :-)

Monday was a gorgeous day, and we spent much of it enjoying the sunshine and mild temperatures, including a picnic lunch down near the Hudson River. He had work in the city on Tuesday, and we met after our works at my place. (He picked up sushi at a place I recommended.)

All in all, it was a really great time. He's so very generous -- always offering to pay, considerate -- he insisted on spoiling me (Oh, if you insist!), and very complimentary. He's also very laid back and not at all pushy like the guys I've met here in NYC. The only flags I've seen so far are that he's recently divorced, has two kids from his marriage, and lives in LA. So I'll see him when he's on this coast and let the rest unfold as it will.

Flowers!

First, the chocolates.
Then, the music.
Now, I get flowers!

Today, I got a beautiful bouquet of mixed flowers delivered to work, courtesy of Aloha Guy in honor of my birthday.

It's impressive that this guy is so persistent and sweet. The card was very casual, just wishing me a wonderful day. So although my faithful reader and commenter "jman" mentioned it might be too much too soon, Aloha Guy has been very nonchalant in his conversations and messages. I don't feel like he's "expecting" anything, and even when I asked if there's something particular he wants to do or see while he's in NYC, he said he just wants to spend time with me, even just sitting on a park bench.

It's the second time this week that he's put a smile on my face. I like this wooing business!

Too Good To Be True?

So after the chocolates that were delivered to my hotel in D.C. last week, I got an email from Aloha Guy that he'd like to take me out for my birthday. He's going to Boston for work next week and coming to NYC first to see me. I'm surprised and pleased and looking forward to having something to do on my b-day.

And today, I received a FedEx package from him with two compilation CDs of Hawaiian music. He offered to make them when we went to dinner last week, and I said I'd like that. (Remember in the 80's when we used to make mixed tapes?) Still, I was surprised that he actually did it and sent them so quickly.

This guy seems so nice! Am I so jaded by my experiences here that this seems so unusual? I read recently on another single gal's blog that her West coast friend remarked she couldn't believe what we NYC girls put up with. She also had this interesting chart on her blog from National Geographic:



As you can see, NYC and the surrounding area has the most single women, while the LA area has the most single men. (Texas is looking pretty good in this chart, too.)


Hmm...

5K

On Sunday, I ran a 5K with my sister Jenn, her husband Anthony and my 8-year-old niece Anna. It was an unusually cool morning in Austin, and the crisp air seemed to help us all pick up our feet.

Jenn blew us all away, as we knew she would, and finished first in our group. (Her sweet dog Francesca had no problem keeping up with her pace.)






I was thrilled with my time of 36 minutes, 25 seconds, but I've decided I don't look great running. :-)







And Anna and Anthony were right behind me.

A Follow-Up

I went to Washington, D.C. this week for a conference where I was speaking. And Aloha Guy sent me chocolates to my hotel room. Wow! I was very pleasantly surprised.

(In conversation the previous day, he had asked me nonchalantly where I was staying and remarked that it was a nice hotel. I had no idea what he was planning.)

Surprisingly Good Time

When I was in D.C. for a conference in April, I went out with some vendors, and I met a guy who was also in town for a conference. He seemed very nice, and was very easy to talk to, so we exchanged business cards. He's originally from Hawaii (so I'm going to dub him Aloha Guy), but now lives in LA. He mentioned when we met that he was coming to NYC in May.

And he looked me up. Aloha Guy was only in town for a couple of days, so we decided to meet up for drinks. I took him to the Campbell Apartment, which is in Grand Central Terminal. It was a lavish office space in the 1920's and has been restored to the glories of that time. We had a couple drinks, and the conversation was going so well, we decided to grab dinner.

I suggested Sushi Samba, one of my favorites that is a fusion of Japanese, Brazilian and Peruvian cuisines. The flavor combinations are just spectacular. Aloha Guy enjoyed the food as well, and I loved it that he let me choose everything. (I guess I enjoy control sometimes!)

The best thing was the ease of conversation. I feel like, if nothing else, I could really be friends with this guy. It's tough making friends in NYC -- I often get told that I'm "too nice" (and it's not a compliment) -- and even tougher getting together with those friends.

I really enjoyed spending time with Aloha Guy and talking with him. I've been to Hawaii many times, and it is one of my favorite places for its incredible beauty and laid back lifestyle. We also talked about our travels. He's never been to Europe but has travelled extensively in Asia, so we swapped stories about different cities and cultures. And the whole thing was very comfortable. I never felt like he was pressuring me for anything more than my current company. (So different from the forced-upon kiss of the date I had a couple weeks ago!) We parted with just a hug, and he said he'd be in touch the next time he was coming to the East Coast.

Exercise = Endorphins

I was feeling a bit low on Friday and Saturday. A long work week just about beat me down, and the week of dreary rain also dampened my mood. I'm also pondering what to do about my birthday. (My upcoming birthday doesn't fill me with dread because it's another year older, but I'm dreading spending it alone.)

I usually talk to my mom on Saturdays. We catch up on what's going on with the family and trade stories about work and stuff. I told her I was down (and maybe even cried a bit) and she encouraged me to get out and get some exercise. She also gave me a good way to put my birthday in perspective, saying we will celebrate it while I'm in Texas to also celebrate my sister's, dad's and nephew's birthdays. (May's a busy month for our family.) 

I took her advice and got out on my bike, riding up the West coast of Manhattan where there's a bike path along the West Side highway. I rode up to 70th Street, then across to Central Park where I could get at least some mild hills. Back on 72nd to the West side, I rode back down, enjoying the salt water smell and the kite event that was happening on one of the piers. 

And whattya know, mom was right. I did feel better. (Although my butt is still a little sore.)

Funny joke

How is sex like snow?

You never know how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

Showers & Quilts

This past Saturday, I had two baby showers to attend.

Baby showers aren't every single gal's favorite activity, especially those of us who are pining for a baby of our own, but two of my dear friends here in NYC are both expecting their firsts -- both girls. And I have been working on making each of them a quilt. Usually, I ask the moms what their nursery theme is and design a quilt to match that. But both these gals -- Erin and Kelly -- told me to just create whatever. The only guidance I got was that Erin asked that it not have too much pink, and Kelly requested bright pink.

So I created the quilts to match each of their personalities. Erin's quilt is made of pastels -- green, yellow and purple. (The back is light green with purple butterflies.) Erin is such a sweet person, one of the nicest people I know, and she's very traditional. I used a pattern I had done before, so I knew I could complete it well and quickly.

Kelly's quilt is bright and bold, just like she is. I chose a simple pattern, but it has a twist: every other square is made up of smaller squares. I chose the bright pink and purple to create those little patchwork squares. I sewed long strips of purple and pink in groups of five, and then cut the sewn strips crosswise and sewed the new rows together, alternating the colors. It didn't take as long as I feared, and the back fabric matched the yellow with bright butterflies in the solid squares.

I was thrilled that both Erin and Kelly were excited and touched by the quilt I made for their baby girl. And now I just have one more to do, for a friend whose baby boy is due in July.

Another NY Date

The guy I met last night described himself as an "Authentic NYer" -- born, raised and always lived in Manhattan. At first look, I was glad he looked like his pictures online (not always the case) and recognized me right away from mine, saying I looked exactly like my pictures, too.

We met at a great bar where he knows the bartender, and I got the bar's signature martini, which included orange-flavored vodka and a wine-based liqueur. It was refreshing without being too sweet. He got a whiskey-based cocktail, and while he offered me a taste, I don't like the smell of whiskey at all. He was very intrigued about my drink, and after several questions about it, I realized he wanted to try it and offered him a taste. After that, he felt like he could take a sip of my drink whenever he felt like it. It was strange, and I called him on it. He said, "Well, you said to share it with you!" which I did not. A sip is not "share." Whatever.

He enjoyed talking and apparently hearing himself talk. He's quite confident he's an interesting conversationalist. But the multiple times he interrupted me were annoying. I also noticed he had several mannerisms that, in my opinion, were effeminate. And while that usually sets my Gaydar off, I've seen this with other straight NY guys, and I think it's just a difference between Southern men and Yankee men. But I have a difficult time finding this attractive in a man.

In the middle of a conversation, he motioned to the bartender to give us the check and said, "let's get out of here, go somewhere else." Since it was 7:30, I assumed he meant grab a bite to eat, but you know what assuming gets you...

As we left the bar and started walking, I asked him, "Where are we going?" He stopped for a minute and said, "How about a rooftop? Is it too cold for you?" I agreed that sounded like fun and asked again where he was thinking of. "My place, of course! What did you think I meant by rooftop?" Well, I was thinking of the rooftop bars that I have been to in this city, and I'm not sure what you are planning. I told him that while I'm still learning the cultural differences between here and Texas (and believe me, there are many!), I did learn the hard way about not inviting someone up to your apartment unless you're expecting something. He asked me about how I learned that and completely agreed with the guy and told me I was in the wrong. (Yeah, thanks, I figured that out!) He also told me he wasn't expecting anything other than to enjoy my company. I still felt a little weird, though... (WHY don't I listen to my gut???)

He fixed me a drink - but not himself one - and again helped himself to sips of my drink. Weird. He was also overly touchy. He kept touching my hands or my arm while he was talking to me. Out-of-the-blue, he asked me, "Are you attracted to me?" and I was so caught off guard, I just told him the truth, sort-of, saying, "A little."

"A little?!" he was obviously disappointed. I told him I needed to get to know him more, that attraction to me is more than just how someone looks. He recovered, saying he only found me a little attractive, too. So I thought, maybe we can be good friends...

He showed me his balcony (NOT a rooftop) and moved in close. I panicked and put my hands on his chest and asked, "You're not going to kiss me, are you?" (Dumb question, of course that's what he was going to do.) Unfortunately, my question didn't stop him, but I just gave him a closed-mouth kiss and wiggled away.

I went to the bathroom and while I had a moment to myself, started thinking of ways to get out of there. But when I came back to the living room, he said, "Did you have everything you needed in there?" I laughed and said yes, toilet paper and a sink with soap. Then abruptly he asked, "Do you want me to walk you down stairs to get a cab?" What a 180-degree shift, but I wasn't going to pass up that opportunity and said, "Yes, please. That would be nice."

The best part of the date was the cab ride home!