Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Operation Remodel


remodel 001
Originally uploaded by Gem-Em.
Operation Remodel made steady progress last weekend with continued wallpaper removal, patching, sanding, priming and painting. The entrywall is now mostly complete (tape is still up for the painting of the trim), and two bathrooms are in the midst of overhaul. The entry hall is a lovely shade of creamy yellow, which the lady of the house was quite sure would be perfect. (The handyman was doubtful but came around once the paint was dry.)

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Please Excuse My Absence

It's been a week since I last posted. (that sounds a bit like how they start confession, doesn't it?)

After 10 years of treatment, I decided to take a stab at going without antidepressants. I feel like I'm in a good place emotionally, and I have learned healthy skills to deal with different situations and stresses. But I didn't expect it to be this difficult physically.

There's actually quite a bit of dialogue and documented journal articles in the physician community about what they are now terming "serotonin discontinuation syndrome." The idea of how antidepressants work is pretty brilliant. Serotonin is one of the naturally occurring chemicals in your brain. In depression, it is diminished, so one of the major classes (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors) of antidepressants helps increase those levels. The effect, for me, was finally feeling "normal." I actually thought, so this is how normal people feel! It doesn't make you high, and you still have ups and downs. What it did get rid of was the hopelessness, the unstoppable crying, and the lethargy.

Fast forward to now, when my life is basically running smooth. I asked my doctor about getting off of them, and after a few months of a reduced dose, she recommended I start taking it every other day. That was three weeks ago. Every other day (my "off" day), I would feel dizzy and nauseaous. The dizzy feeling is similar to if you've ever been really drunk and had the spins. I also noticed if I moved my head or eyes quickly, it felt like my brain would follow a few seconds behind.

After three weeks of feeling like crap, I called it quits, at least for now. I've missed several days of work (including today -- who can work when you're trying to keep your head completely still and not think about heaving?) and went to talk to my doctor again this morning. She agreed it's not working for now, so I will continue on my low daily dose, and we'll try an even slower withdrawal in a few months.

I'm thankful that these medications are available, and I know it's made my life more bearable (except for lately). For today, though, I'm just glad to be able to hold my head up without feeling pukey.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

BagLady

Some women love shoes. For me, it's all about bags.

I LOVE bags, from purses to suitcases. I've realized that I have a compulsion in this area, so I refrain from going to bag shops. I have at least a dozen of bags I've gotten free at conferences or other activites, and many other tote bags that were too cute to pass up.

I keep my bag urges in check, but sometimes, a girl's gotta have a new bag.

I found one yesterday that just HAD to come home with me. See, it's actually practical because it's a laptop backpack. I travel a lot for work, and my briefcase with laptop gets very heavy. My chiropractor has told me it's not good for my back since all the weight is on one shoulder. Plus, it's just not comfortable.

My new bag evenly distributes the weight across my back. Plus, it will come in handy when I take my laptop home and want to ride my motorcycle the next day. (It's just not feasible to carry a briefcase on the bike.)

In addition to the cleanliness and nice smell of a new bag, I love exploring all it's compartments and organizing my things. You may be shaking your head at my pecularity, but everyone has something. Mine just happens to be bags.

Monday, August 14, 2006

An Impromptu Visit


Colin, Aug2006
Originally uploaded by Gem-Em.
When I was able to catch an earlier flight back to Dallas from North Carolina, I called Anthony to see if it was okay if I drove down for the weekend. He said sure, so several hours later, I was pulling up to their house. It's funny how Anna and Colin differ in their reaction to my arrival. Anna runs up smiling and giggling, and Colin runs inside to hide. It's almost as if he's overwhelmed by the excitement.

His potty-training is going very well. No one had any accidents all weekend. He has a difficult time getting his pants back on after a visit to the loo. He just avoids putting anything back on altogether!

So after his morning wee, he came and snuggled with me on the couch. I "flew" him up in the air. His little body is so perfect and smooth. I was extra lucky on Sunday morning when he awoke WAY TOO EARLY and came to sleep with me for the last 90 minutes or so. He snuggled up against me and pushed his feet onto my leg. It was so sweet.

An Impromptu Visit, continued


Anna, Aug2006
Originally uploaded by Gem-Em.
Anna is so sweet. She starts kindergarten tomorrow (Tuesday). I was amazed at how mature she looked when I drove up. Jenn told me she's been very conscientious at choosing new clothes for school, keeping in mind that she will be going to the bathroom by herself. Jenn said she chose to put back anything with zippers or difficult buttons.

I also enjoyed how much she and Colin enjoy each other's company. They do have the few spats over toys, but for the vast majority of the time, they play together very well.

Since I slept in Colin's room, they were both in Anna's double bed. They had a difficult time falling asleep, though, because they kept giggling and talking. Jenn finally separated them until they fell asleep, and Anna howled, "I miss my brother!"

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Rant

Here I am, back in North Carolina again for another new business pitch. I HATE the way we prepare for these presentations. We began almost 4 hours ago. It's just so unorganized, everyone interrupting everyone else. I'm ready to go, and yet I have to wait through all their silliness. It's now 10:45 here, and I'm exhausted. I haven't had a chance yet to unwind. And one of my coworkers laughed when I said I was tired, stating it's an hour earlier back home (so it should only feel like 9:45 to me). Does that really matter? I'm tired, dammit!

This is the same girl who earlier today, at the airport, asked if I wanted to get a Frappucino with her from Starbuck's. I settled for iced tea, saying I'm watching my calories because I've gained some weight. Instead of saying, "You don't look like you have" or "I think you look great!" or some other appropriate, supportive response, she said, "Not me! I'm down to 113!" [bitch.] I don't think I've been at 113 since junior high.

Do I have a sign on me today that says "Be an ass to me?"

On the plane, I was trying to review my presentation (I prefer to prep alone), and the guy sitting on the aisle was super-chatty. I made monosyllable answers and kept turning back to my papers, and he asked, "Are you taking a test or something?" I explained I was preparing for a presentation. Luckily, the middle seat occupant sat between us, and he engaged her in a full conversation. I got through my prep work and picked up the in-flight magazine, when he leaned over and said, "I hope we're not interrupting your PREPARATION."

No, I said, I'm done. (obviously)

I just like time to myself. I don't always like to talk. I like to think about things quietly, without interruptions. And I definitely need time to rest and get geared up before our morning pitch.

I wish I could be more assertive, like yelling, "LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!" but instead I try to be polite. Inside, though, I'm yelling.

I'm also really missing Steve. He's been on a business trip since Tuesday. I feel more grounded when I'm around him, I guess because he's my main and strongest supporter. And he balances my personality with his.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Project Completed


monkey quilt
Originally uploaded by Gem-Em.
The nice thing about finishing a baby quilt after the baby is already born is that you have a perfect excuse to meet the baby!

This quilt was for Quinn, the new son of my friends Forrest and Kym. He's quite a cutie, with a full head of brown hair.

Their nursery theme is monkeys, so the black fabric has many jungle animals, including monkeys, and I decided to complement it with the banana material.

New Project


Entry hall demolition
Originally uploaded by Gem-Em.
So here's what Steve and I began to tackle this weekend. Our entry hallway had two layers of the tackiest wallpaper from the style of the 60s and 70s. We decided to splurge on a steamer to help remove it. But since it's slow work and only one person can really use the steamer at a time, I decided to tackle the popcorn ceiling. I sprayed and scraped the ceiling while Steve steamed and scraped the walls. It looks bad, but this is actually progress! Not sure why some of the drywall underneath the wallpaper has a brown stain to it, but all of it will be covered over eventually with a nice paint.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Overkill

So I've been having this pain in the middle of my foot for the past six months (I guess I have a pretty good tolerance for pain), and it's been getting worse. I decided to finally talk to my doctor about it and see if we can fix it.

She said it might be a stress fracture and sent me to the adjacent hospital for an x-ray.

I took my one-page request form from her office down to the hospital, where I was interviewed by an intake associate and asked questions such as:
Do you have an advance directive?
What is your religious preference, or do you prefer not to answer?
Point of contact in case of emergency?

This is just for a simple x-ray of my foot!

Yes, she nodded, while continuing with her procedures.

I even had to wear a hospital bracelet with my name!

(The x-ray technician let me view the pictures. I didn't see any obvious fractures.)