Monday, November 29, 2010

Music - Our gift to Sudie

When my sisters and I were asked to sing at Sudie's memorial, we all wanted to do our best to honor her, but we were nervous that we hadn't sung together in many years and that you can't sing properly if you're crying. Fortunately, our previous singing came back to us, and we were able to keep the tears at bay long enough for the two songs, one at the church service and one at the gravesite. I asked my dad to record them if he could do so unobtrusively.

If you'd like to hear the songs, you can find them on my dad's blog. (Sorry, I'm too tired to figure out how to embed them here and must pack for a trip tomorrow.)

Monday, November 22, 2010

A True Gem

My beloved great aunt Sudie Pearl died last week. She was 95 and leaves behind many nieces and nephews, great nieces and great nephews, and even great-great little ones. She was universally loved and respected by all, and although she didn't have children of her own, she was regarded by many as the matriarch figure of our family.

Sudie was born to Baptist missionaries, and spent her childhood in Brazil, where she learned how to speak Spanish and Portugese, as well as how to climb a tree and sleep in a hammock. Unfortunately, hers was not an easy life, and there were times in her childhood where her parents were told she wasn't expected to live. (Obviously, she defied those predictions.)

For most of her working career, she was a professor of Spanish at university. Many of her students later returned to tell her how much she meant to them, and Sudie was always so modest and gracious, never one to laud her accomplishments.

To me, she was an example of what I want to be, in so many ways. She had severe scoliosis, curvature of the spine, which caused a physical deformity most noticeable in her shoulders. I have slight scoliosis and know the near-constant pain that accompanies it. I can only imagine her pain was even greater, but she never complained. She always had a radiant smile and bestowed all her attention on the people around her.

She was a Christian, which she showed through her gracious actions and loving demeanor rather than showy words or condemnation of others.

She was fiscally responsible and generous, providing me and my sisters with incredible gifts and support, especially through our college years.

But mostly, she was full of love and freely gave it to us.

Sudie and I had so many talks over the years, and she often urged me to have kids. I know she was regretful that she didn't, having married late in life. She told me, "Don't wait." But I explained I wasn't consciously waiting, and that she had shown me how wonderful an aunt could be.

And although she didn't have children of her own to name, she did name me. My parents didn't give any of us girls middle names, assuming we would take our maiden name as our middle name once we married. When I was divorcing [the first time] and reviewing the legal documents the lawyer had drafted, I got to the part about legally changing my name back to my maiden name. Abruptly, I asked if I could add a middle name. He thought it was an odd request but confirmed I could. "What name would you choose?"

I knew immediately. Sudie always called me "Emily Jane," after my mom "Beverly Jane" because I reminded her in many ways of my mom.

Without hestitation I told the lawyer "Jane." And I couldn't wait to show my new license, with my new full name, to Sudie. I told her she named me, and I always carry that with me.

I am so grateful to have had her in my life, and I know I was blessed in countless ways to have had Sudie Pearl as my great aunt.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Apologies

I feel like I've been doing that a lot lately -- apologizing -- I'm just stretched too thin.

It's not that I've abandoned my blog or am too depressed to write. I'm just overworked, and since I work online, specifically with social media, the last thing I want to do when I'm done after an especially long day is get on the computer at home and blog.

I do have random thoughts of brilliant blog posts at times when I don't have computer access...like while I'm on a plane or in a bathtub...but then I land and rush off to a meeting or get out of the tub and crash into a deep sleep.

So, apologies for ignoring you, dear readers. I am grateful that you read and comment.

This month, I have a total of five trips for work before Thanksgiving. And in between, I'm still expected to keep up with an abundance of email and other work deliverables. Some of that is getting done. Some of it is barely getting done, and I'm sure I've forgotten things that I'm supposed to be doing. It's nice to feel needed, but I have a difficult time saying "no" to colleagues I like and respect. I also want to do a good job on things. But lately, it's not my best work. [sigh]

I'm still struggling with the concept of balance. I know it's impossible all the time, but I also know I need to firmly stick to my boundaries and take care of myself.

Monday, November 01, 2010

A Few Halloween Pics

It's already late in the evening, and I still have to pack for a business trip, so apologies for just pics!