Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Travel

Steve's been travelling this week for work. I really miss him! Even though we don't see each other every day, it's nice to know he's just a few minutes away if I needed him. But since Monday, he's been out in California, calling to tell me how beautiful the ocean and the weather have been.

I think it's easier when I'm the one travelling. I think it's harder on the one who gets left behind.

Both our jobs are going to require a lot of travel in the next few months, so we are planning to use the frequent flier miles to our advantage. I'm going to Pittsburgh next week, and my name has been tossed around to work on a new account that kicks off in London in two weeks! Steve is off to San Antonio next week, then Seattle and California again soon.

And then he has a business trip to Hawaii that he wants me to join him on! It's prime season for Hawaii, but with my miles, it's only going to cost me $10 to fly there. We're staying for a week, and he only has to work 3 of those days. I can't wait. I'm counting the weeks (5 to go).

Monday, January 23, 2006

Crash

The weekend started out good. I got a good workout in on Friday night before meeting Steve for dinner. I did cardio and weights, and really pushed it on the machine that works the lats, the triangular shaped muscle in the back over the shoulder blade.

On Saturday, Steve and I met his friend Cris for mountain biking on a trail that the guys have done before. It's 5 miles out and 5 miles back and would definitely be classified as intermediate. The beginning was the toughest, with lots of challenging hills and dips. My asthma started acting up, and I was very frustrated that I couldn't catch my breath. I haven't had that happen since last July, and unfortunately, the inhaler I brought with me was expired.

We got almost to the end of the 5 mile trail when I needed a break. I rested and stretched while the guys went on ahead, promising to return in about 7 minutes. It was a lot longer than 7 minutes, but I was enjoying the view from the top of the hill. Steve came back with blood running down his calf. He had crashed, and his bike had dug into his leg, tearing a nasty gash in it. I cleaned it up with bottled water and tissues as best I could, and we headed back.

We had just gotten to the tough hills and dips when I realized my muscles were really tired. My legs were shaking with the effort, but I was determined to finish. The guys went down a steep hill and up the other side. I was going to walk it like I had done on the way out, but it looked like so much fun, I decided to try it.

I was using my rear brake as I'm supposed to, but I was still gaining too much speed. Then my bike hit either gravel or a protruding vine, and I went sailing over the top of the handlebars. I landed HARD on my left shoulder and left hip, my face pointed down into the ground. I learned you can really drag out Steve's name:
"Steeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeve!"

He was already running down the hill towards me. He untangled my right foot from my bike and helped gently turn me over. I really thought I might have broken my left upper arm (humerus), but I was able to move it. He said his first thoughts were how they were going to get me out of there, and he started thinking about calling a Medivac helicopter.

Fortunately, it wasn't that bad. I was able to walk out. I'm covered in bruises and scrapes and even have a slight black eye, but everything's still working. Steve had to get antibiotics and a tetanus shot for his injury, and we both took lots of ibuprofen the rest of the weekend. But all's well that ends well. I think our original plan of going to Houston for the weekend would have been less painful, though.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Today is Wednesday...

I've been entertaining clients for the past two days and nights. Not too long ago, I welcomed these evening excursions as a nice distraction from the monotony of living alone. Now, however, I can actually say I'd rather spend my evenings focusing on my personal life. I consider this quite an achievement of sorts. Last year, my New Year's resolution was to create a personal life, since I had so thrown myself into work and my career so completely the year before and decimated what personal life I had before.

I did see Steve last night after my client dinner. He gave me a bottle of Lovely, Sarah Jessica Parker's new fragrance. It lives up to its name. There's something so sweet about getting perfume from your boyfriend, even if he did get it free from a friend who reps for the product.

On a completely different note, since this morning, I've had an old camp song stuck in my head. My sister Jennifer should remember it. We learned it when we were teenage camp counselors:

Today is Wednesday, it's a very good day.
Thank God for Wednesday, let's shout hooray. (Hooray!)
If it wasn't for Wednesday, what would we do?
Then we wouldn't have Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday,
All week long...together with you!
It's gotta be Wednesday, it's gotta be Wednesday,
Is it Wednesday yet? You bet!


Each day at camp started off with this song, substituting the appropriate day of the week. What a great way to kick off the day. The kids liked it anyway!

Monday, January 16, 2006

Painting

Steve and I spent the weekend painting. He's renovating his house, getting it ready to sell hopefully this Spring, and several rooms need painting. We finished two bedrooms, the hallway, 9 doors and all the edging. His friend Cris helped us on Saturday, and we finished it up on Sunday. It was fun, working together. We turned on the radio, and since the old carpet has been pulled up, we didn't have to worry about little splashes and spray. It's so satisfying to see the rooms go from dingy and beat up to fresh white and clean.

To thank me for my cooperation, Steve cooked me a steak dinner on his grill. It was delicious. He also made me a German cucumber salad. One of the nicest things was being served, having someone make dinner especially for me!

Other than that, I haven't had many ideas for blogging...sorry for the void.

Monday, January 09, 2006

Relationship Homework

I got a voicemail message from a friend today asking for an update on Steve. I guess I've been hesitant to post anything because 1)not many of you commented to my New Year post about giving it another go, and 2)I didn't want to jinx it.

Besides, who wants to hear I'm happy? How entertaining is that?

(I think I was a more witty blogger when I had a more tumultous dating life, but oh well!)

Things are going swimmingly, wonderfully well. Last week, he even went with me to see my counselor Jo. (Bonus points for Steve!) Jo helped us see some similarities in our family histories and gave us "relationship homework" to help us discuss our values and communication styles. (We haven't finished it yet.) The visit with her was REALLY interesting, and Steve and I agreed it was actually fun. It's so great to be in a relationship where I can really be honest with him about how I feel and when I'm scared. And Steve has been very supportive, understanding and flexible. He's allowing me the space I need to be myself.

Saturday, January 07, 2006

How Weird am I?

The latest meme from my sister Jenn, 5 weird things about me: (meme=a cultural unit (an idea or value or pattern of behavior) that is passed from one generation to another by nongenetic means (as by imitation); "memes are the cultural counterpart of genes")

1. The toenails on my big toes have been stunted from multiple ingrown toenail surgery and the anti-growth stuff they put on them. They look strange. I often get asked (if and when I show my bare feet) what happened to them.

2. I have a lot of flat moles all over my body. I used to think when I was little that if someone could connect all the dots, it would give me the answer to my purpose in life or something. There were four on my back like the points of a cross, but one had to be removed under suspicion (it was fine).

3. I have a pet peeve about loose hair in the sink. Even if I'm at a public bathroom or at work, I must rinse the hair down the drain.

4. I have never tried illegal drugs of any kind, not even marijuana. Many people of my generation find that surprising, but I've never really been interested.

5. I like even numbers better than odd numbers, and therefore, I like even-numbered years better. In even-numbered years, my age is even-numbered. Logically, I know there's probably nothing to it, but here's a thought: both of my failed marriages started in odd-numbered years...

Monday, January 02, 2006

New Year Musings

I've been off the blog scene lately. I didn't even read my sisters' blogs for the past couple days. I had a nightmare last night that something had happened and I didn't know about it, so I caught up on all their pictures and stories this morning.

I took Friday off as my last vacation day of 2005, and today is a holiday from work. It's been great to have a 4-day weekend to catch up on everything: sleep, laundry, cleaning, and visiting with friends.

The antibiotics are doing their job, and I'm finally feeling more like myself. Thanks for everyone's well-wishes! But now that I'm feeling better physically, I seem to be dwelling more on my emotional status.

I know I have a tendency to over-analyze, but...
Sometimes I run when things get too tough. Moving around often as a kid was great in so many ways, but it taught me I can start over and not deal with relationship issues. I know that each of my brief marriages was doomed from the start (poor choices on my part), but still I wonder if I didn't give it enough effort? Then I remember the situations and think, yes I did...

I also vacillate between feeling really confident and thinking I deserve someone who loves and appreciates all my unique qualities and feeling not good enough. I've discovered (through in-depth counseling with a insightful professional) that I tend to be the pursuer in relationships. I feel more comfortable with the role of trying to win someone over. When I "get" them, I start to feel restless. (I think that's when the feeling of "I'm not good enough" comes in.)

I have also been exploring and trying to chip away at my unattainable goal of perfection. I know logically I'm not perfect and can never be, but sometimes my drive to be perfect in every facet of my life comes out and nearly cripples me. I also tend to look for perfection in a man...something we all know doesn't exist! (ha ha)

Steve wrote me a beautiful and heartfelt email over the holidays. I broke up with him after he made a stupid mistake, and I focused on that and not the months of his true behavior. He had also recently told me he loved me. That scared me (see above), and I didn't react well to it. Even before the email and our recent talks, I have felt that he has been the first man to truly see and appreciate me for who I am. And so, with all this in mind, I've decided to see him for lunch. No guarantees for anything else, but I need to explore this a bit more.

Hope all this rambling makes sense. Thanks for reading it!