Thursday, July 29, 2010

A Nonchalant, but Momentous, Occasion

With a profession in law enforcement and national security, as well as above average intelligence, Fly Boy prides himself on being a good judge of character. I don't doubt it, as he has to make split second decisions in his line of work that can literally mean life or death to himself or his men.

Because he trusted me and meeting the 'rents had gone so well, FB thought I should meet the other generation, too -- his "girlios." I was much more nervous about this prospect than he was. The girlios -- aged 8, 5, and 4 -- had met his previous girlfriend, and since FB and his ex have such a great relationship, the girls didn't seem at all concerned that their dad was with another woman. But still, their pint-sized bodies held steely glances as they regarded me during that initial introduction.

I am good with kids. Always have been. But I still felt nervous and realized the momentousness of this occasion, even thought I appreciated Fly Boy's casualness about the meeting. Would they like me? What if they didn't? FB introduced me to them, and they immediately asked -- as he predicted -- what about the previous girlfriend? He explained they were now just friends, and the girls seemed more concerned that they wouldn't see the ex-girlfriend's kids than her. They asked if I had kids (looking for playmates), but the answer that I had one elderly cat seemed less than ideal.

I tried to make small talk, asking how old they were (even though I already knew), complimenting their earrings, and asking what they were playing. Their responses were mono-syllabic. I tried not to panic. The middle girl appraised me and stated, "You look like my mommy."

"Oh, really?" I replied with what I hoped was a calm voice, while wondering if FB had truly just chosen me because I looked like his type. "Yes," she said, "But with a different face." I laughed, realizing she was looking at my adult woman body. She later followed that observation with another -- that my butt is like her mom's: big -- while she has a small butt. (I am taking this as a purely proportional assessment: child vs adult.)

We all got into his truck and drove to dinner. The middle child (I am also the middle of three girls) announced she had a song for us. Her original, spontaneous composition started with "Daddy has a new girlfriend" and also had a verse which included "First, Daddy had Mommy as a girlfriend, then he had Miss B___ as a girlfriend, and now he has Miss Emily as a girlfriend." It was sweet and funny. The other girls joined in.

After dinner, the littlest one climbed up into my lap and snuggled in with her head under my chin. She looked up at me and declared, "You're snuggly." My heart melted a bit as I told her she was too.

The oldest one wrote me a sweet note the next day, stating I was one of her favorite people. And, she conspiratorially whispered to me, "I KNOW Daddy's going to marry you because when he introduced you to us, he said 'I really, really like her' and he never said that about Miss B___." I thanked her for the intel.

And so, I have three new little friends in Austin. Before I met them, I had a conversation with Fly Boy that I wasn't quite ready to use the title "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" yet. But when the oldest asked her dad -- when he first introduced me -- "Is she a friend or a girlfriend?" FB and I locked eyes and I gave him a quick nod. They are so innocent and sweet, and like them, I am focusing on living in the moment.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Amazing

It all started with an email through Match.com. Fly Boy emailed me saying he found my profile interesting. He particularly liked that I noted that I believe every soul has value and responded to my requirements of height-weight proportionate (he's 5'10" 210#) and the absolute disdain I have for tobacco use (Never!).

However, when I clicked through to his profile, two things in particular made me stop short of liking it: he chose the field "no more kids/happy if the other person has kids of their own" and "recently divorced." In addition, he had mentioned in his email to me that he works as a police officer and is a Navy Commander. While impressive, I've never been the type to go for police officers, and based on my experience (ex-husband #2 and another short-term guy), I'm not very interested in military guys either. Regarding the kids, he wrote in his profile of his three young girls (with accompanying ADORABLE picture). Rather than the auto "No thank you" response Match offers, I decided to write him back and let him know of my two show-stoppers. To my surprise, he wrote back. And further surprise, his response was very well-written. He not only explained his thinking behind what he wrote (he's open to more kids -- in fact, thinks "there can never be too many of them" and explained he's been separated for about four years and has an excellent relationship with his ex) but he also responded that he heard and understood my objections.

I found myself writing back to him again. Partially because he was a good writer and demonstrated intelligence. He wrote me the next time about how he takes his little girls (8, 5, and 4) on "dates," showing them how they should be treated and giving them one-on-one time with dad. [AW!!!] He also talked about being a pilot and asking if I'd ever been in a one-engine plane (not yet!).

As we shared emails about our backgrounds, we found similarity in the frequent relocations: mine due to my dad's airline company employment and Fly Boy's due to his dad being in the Army. He wrote about some of the leadership opportunities he's had in the Navy and how he's trying to bring that learning to his fellow officers at the police department. He also expressed interest in learning more about what I do and complimented me on my successes.

After several long emails, we exchanged phone numbers. The first call lasted TWO HOURS but seemed like 30 minutes. FB's not only intelligent, he's funny. He has the admirable ability to laugh at himself and also is not afraid to point out when I've done something that is mockable (in a respectful way -- he makes me laugh at myself when I'm taking myself too seriously).

We talked a couple more times before setting a date to meet one afternoon for coffee. I knew we had intellectual compatibility, but would we have physical chemistry? Well...that initial "coffee date" lasted 8 hours! FB took me to dinner and we talked non-stop. He has beautiful blue eyes, but he is hesitant to smile often or long. It became a challenge to me to try and make him smile -- it lights up his face when he does.

FB asked to see me the next day -- but that was move-in day to my new apartment. Not exactly a fun activity for anyone. But he reassured me that he was just interested in spending time with me. He turned out to be a huge help, offering to unpack boxes or do whatever needed doing, and stayed until he had to go to work that evening at the police department.

The next day (Sunday), he asked me to lunch, and then spur-of-the-moment invited me to join him to drive out to see his parents just outside of Austin. It all seemed natural enough -- not overly formal like so many of these such meetings -- that I found myself agreeing. Plus, I just wanted to spend more time with him. He's genuinely interested in me: my job, my family, what's important to me -- and at the same time, he's more than I would have thought possible in a police/Navy guy.

His parents were lovely. I thoroughly enjoyed talking to both of them. He's very close with his parents and his younger sister (in LA).

There's more...but it's late, I'm in Chicago (for work, and I'm tired. And this blog post is long enough! Suffice it to say that I really like FB. So much so that I cut off my Match profile. And for the first time in a really long time, it doesn't seem like a sacrifice to give up meeting other people. And for his part, FB is so complimentary, supportive and respectful of me and what I do and what I'm about. It's just amazing.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Online Dating

Online dating is interesting. You see some strange profiles, such as the guy who posted a college football photo of himself saying "this is me, plus 20 years." Profiles also show someone's writing skills -- or lack thereof -- but to me, it seems like a valid way to meet others who have similar interests and values...if both people are honest.

I had a date last Friday. It was so amazingly good, I'm having a difficult time trying to figure out how to write about it all. Plus, I'm still in the middle of getting settled and moving in, while planning a business trip for tomorrow... I don't have the internet working yet at home, so I'm in Starbucks at the moment, doing some work on my day off (grrr, but can't be avoided). I need more time to write it all out, so sorry for the foreshadowing.

Suffice it to say, for now, that I've found someone worth spending more time with. And the great thing is, he's feeling the same about me.

Friday, July 23, 2010

80's Flashback

A good friend of my sister Jenn's who I've met and hung out with on a couple occasions when I visited invited me to join her at Adult Night at the roller skating rink.

I remember roller skating as a kid, and at least in my memories, I was fairly good. Nothing fancy, but I could skate backwards or forwards and jam to the music. So while it's not an activity I would have sought out on my own, I thought I could enjoy it and experience something with new eyes.

Jenn's friend is a petite, mixed ethnicity girl full of laughter and fun. She jokes with everyone in a nice way and is completely willing to laugh at herself as well. Her infectious laugh usually entices everyone to join in. She is a beautiful mix of Japanese and Indian, and she's the first one to poke fun at her two cultures. She calls her mix Japindian, which seems as good a name as any for the blog.

So Japindian and I went roller skating on Tuesday. She's very serious about her skating and has even bought her own skates! She was nice enough to stay with me as I relearned how to navigate on wheels, and I am proud to say I didn't fall once, not even when some idiot ran into my right calf as he was trying to weave through the crowd. Speaking of the right leg, it got a great workout. They only did one "reverse skate" song, so the left leg was basically just along for the ride.

I think the biggest entertainment of the evening for Japindian was to escort me to the women's bathroom. I understand why that area isn't carpeted, but it seems ridiculous that the floor is also sloped. So while you're trying to hygienically squat over the porcelain fixture which seems significantly lower since you're on skates, you also have to hold on to the walls of the stall and hope you don't go crashing through the door with your pants down. Japindian had warned me about this but still kept laughing as I (successfully!) balanced through.

There weren't any interesting guys at the skating rink, at least not interesting in the would-like-to-date way. There were several show-boaters, and besides the speedy ones weaving and dodging through the crowd, there were a few doing spins and tricks in the middle of the floor. Some of these guys look the same as the ones who hung around the rink back in the 80's. I was grateful no one asked us to join in on the Couples Skate song.

Japindian wants me to commit to joining her every Tuesday. I don't know about a long-term commitment, but I'd probably do it again.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

So Close

I had a second date with Cattle Baron last weekend. Again, great conversation: he told interesting stories and listened to mine attentively. He again insisted on paying -- I still feel a little weird about this. I like being independent, and I can afford to pay for myself. When I know someone else is paying, it makes me more cautious about what I order (maybe I shouldn't pick the most expensive entree or glass of wine), and I wonder what expectations come with it. Perhaps that's the NYer in me questioning why anyone would be nice without an ulterior motive.

I let him drive for this date, and when he dropped me back off at "home" -- my sister's -- he kissed me. And...nothing. I didn't really like the kiss. He has very thin lips and they were too firm. I tried. But I don't really want to kiss him again. And I've gotten to the point in my life where I don't want to have to teach someone the basics like how to kiss well.

So, while he's angling for another date, and while I do enjoy spending time with him, I don't think it's going anywhere but friendship. I'm debating how and when to tell him that. I want to be honest and not string him along if he's not looking for just a friend.

But there are others on Match...and I've got a couple meet-ups already scheduled.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

A Nice First Date

I met Cattle Baron for a drink -- wanted to start off with something defined and short in case it wasn't good -- but we progressed to dinner. He talked a lot about himself at first, not asking me many questions, but when we got to dinner, I got a chance to share as well. He insisted on paying, saying that's how he was raised and he would be offended if I paid. I did get the door for myself on the way out, and he mentioned he would have gotten it for me if I had given him a chance. I laughed and said I was NY-ified and used to being independent.

It was a good first date. CB seems like a really nice, sweet guy, and when he smiles, it reminds me of someone -- I can't quite put my finger on who yet. He has a definite Southern drawl and talked about how he's always lived in small towns. I countered that I've always lived in cities, and wouldn't have it any other way.

He was very polite and intelligent. The conversation was easy. But there weren't really any sparks. I enjoyed his company and agreed to see him again. But driving "home" (to my sister's where I'm staying until my apt is ready), I have to admit that I don't think the sparks are something that comes with time. I think you either have chemistry, or you don't.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Taking the Plunge (Again)

I have a date tomorrow! I'm excited because it's been so long since I had one, but of course, I'm a little nervous, too.

I took the plunge back into online dating. I work online, shop online, blog online (obviously), and it just seems like it should work. It SEEMS like it would be a good way to meet people and find people with something in common. But of course, it's not that easy.

In the past, I've tried Match.com, Yahoo personals, eHarmony and Chemistry, as well as offline dating services. This time, I decided to go back to Match. It's been the longest time since I tried them, and it's popular so it should have plenty of candidates.

The guy I'm meeting tomorrow emailed me through the site, asking what I had liked best about Paris and shared his thoughts on the city -- so I knew he had travelled abroad. We've spoken on the phone a few times, and he seems very nice. The most unusual thing (to me) about him is that he owns cattle -- 80 head of cattle to be exact. I know next to nothing about cattle, but I told him I could tell him a lot about navigating the NYC subways. Other than the country-mouse/city-mouse thing, we do have things in common, and the conversation has been easy on the phone. So we'll see...

Monday, July 12, 2010

Slowing Down to Texas Pace

I think it's going to take me awhile to shake off NY...things move much slower here, which isn't all together bad, but just different.

Yesterday, I dropped off my sister Jenn and her family at the airport for their much-anticipated vacation to Chile. I was so sad to see them go, but I hope I didn't show it. I am excited for them, but it is so unnaturally quiet and lonely at their house without them.

I was thrilled that my uncle Tom and his girlfriend asked me to join them for dinner. I have seen them so rarely in the past several years, and it seemed so easy to get together for a spur-of-the-moment meal and we ended up talking for hours.

Before meeting them, I ran to the grocery store for a few things, intending on just being there a few minutes. One of the things I found frustrating in NYC was the small markets with limited items. Often, I would have to visit three different stores in various parts of the city to get all the necessary items for one of my recipes. Not so in Texas...you know how they say everything's bigger in Texas? The grocery stores are MASSIVE. There are so many items. Just looking at the milk, they must have had 20 different kinds. The choices were almost overwhelming. Although I do appreciate having the choices, it takes me longer to make a decision on the simplest things. That, and I'm not familiar with the store layout yet. :-)

Another thing to get used to: driving again. I've only driven rarely in the past three years, and it still takes all my concentration. It's no longer second-nature to me, but it's coming back quickly.

I also noticed today how courteous people are. I walked from my office over to the bank and cars that could have turned in front of me actually waited until I had passed in front of them. That wouldn't have happened in NYC! I found myself smiling, and someone I passed said Hello!

I stopped into Starbucks for an afternoon caffeine fix. The cashier forgot to call my order to the barista, so I reminded her, and she gave me a coupon for a free drink next time. They're NICE here. The whole wait time was much less than the overcrowded Starbucks near my NY office. Oh, and cheaper!

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Austin

Just a brief post to announce I made it to Austin, and everything went according to plan with the move (so far). The movers arrived at 9:50 a.m., and everything was packed in their truck by 1:10 p.m. I cleaned the apartment and gave the keys to the new tenant and headed to JFK airport on time.

My poor cat, Sabrina, had a stressful time of it, despite the sedative, and attacked my hands a couple times when I tried petting her in her carrier bag. The plane was delayed taking off, making our time on the plane even longer. I was so anxious to get here -- both for Sabrina's sake and to see my family who was eagerly awaiting my arrival -- so that probably made it seem longer, too.

I'm exhausted and sore and only half done with the move -- I don't move into my new place until later in the month -- but I'm glad to be here.

Wednesday, July 07, 2010

Moving Day

It's here. I'm feeling so many things, it's hard to know what to write. I'm overwhelmed, anxious about the move, exhausted, sad from so many touching goodbyes, excited to see my family and all that awaits there, nostalgic about leaving New York...

I'll write more later, once I'm on the ground in Austin. For now, I have to pack up the computer!

Meeting the Mystery Man

Long-time readers will be interested to learn that tonight I met the frequent commenter of my blog, Jman.

We met at a bar he recommended in Times Square, and he ordered us delicious champagne. It was great to finally put a face and learn more about the man who has left so many witty and supportive comments on my blog over the last couple years.

Although I know some were hoping he was the elusive ideal man for me, it turns out he's married, with a grown son of his own. He asked me many questions about my background, both prior to the blog and the scoop on things I've blogged about. And although I learned more about him as well, I will respect his online anonymity and not broadcast too much.

One thing I forgot to ask: what is it about my blog that he finds interesting enough to come back and keep commenting?

Monday, July 05, 2010

Basel, Good Friends & Good Food

I can't believe it's been a week since I posted.

The rest of my time in Europe flew by, with days beginning at 6 a.m. and finishing around midnight. I barely saw any of Basel. It was one of those typical business trips: airport -- hotel and prepping for meeting -- client's -- airport. So my pictures are quite limited: there's a view of Switzerland from the airport, the display celebrating the World Cup in our hotel's lobby, and the delicious cheese fondue I shared with colleagues over dinner.


I got back state-side Thursday afternoon and started packing in earnest for my upcoming move. I've also been seeing friends and saying goodbyes, with nearly every lunch and evening booked until I leave.

One fun night I'd love to do all over again was with two friends who are also from Texas. I met Beka at a doctor's office, but we only recently started hanging out. She introduced me to her roomie Houston, and I just love spending time with them. They each have helped me by taking care of my cat Sabrina while I was away on recent trips, so I took them out for dinner at Sushi Samba -- one of my all-time favorite restaurants.


We got a fantastic seat on their second floor balcony, overlooking 7th Avenue, and enjoyed some tasty beverages. Beka had never tried sushi before but was a great sport, although she was doubtful that some of the rolls would fit in her small mouth!


We finished the night by getting our palms read by a local psychic in Soho. It was entertaining!