Dating?

People keep asking me if I'm dating. My response is, "I'm open to it!" I just haven't had any opportunities, but sure, I would like to go out. Not dating makes for a very boring blog, I know. My life right now is full of work, family time, work, travel for work, studying & homework, and training for the triathlon. I honestly don't know when I'd fit in a date anyway. For the past two Friday nights, I've scheduled sessions with my trainer. At least the gym is pretty empty on Friday nights! I was talking to a friend who is having some complicated relationship issues, and I sighed with relief that I don't have to deal with that. I've had my share of drama with boys, and I'm thankful not to have that in my life. And then recently a smug-in-a-happy-relationship friend asked me if I'm lonely. I answered honestly -- yes, sometimes, but I'm also enjoying my life as it is -- but she persisted, "But doesn't it get SO LONELY?" It got to me, making me focus on the lack instead of the abundance I have. I know part of me is fiercely independent. I don't want to be dependent on anyone for anything, but the truth is, we all need other people in our lives. Is it possible to have a relationship without dependence? I guess until I reconcile this in my head, it's best that I just focus on me.

Sweet Girl

Weekend before last, we celebrated my niece Anna's 10th birthday. Her parents and I reminisced about the day she was born and how the decade has gone by so quickly. She is such a sweet, caring girl. She's super smart and creative in many ways. And she just has a radiance about her that makes it seem like the sun is shining when she smiles.

She debated over her party this year. Options abounded: a sleepover? a spa party? Olympic-theme? But she decided on a Mystery party, and as usual, her mom organized a great event. The games culminated in a mystery about "who stole the cake." Clues were hidden around the playground in a scavenger hunt style, and the clues pointed to one of the party guests. All the sleuths were in the dark until they began fingerprinting the guests to match the print with one recovered "at the scene." And then it came out: it was me! Anna took it so seriously, she asked me later, "Why did you steal the cake?" Of course, I hadn't really -- and it was always just at the house waiting for the proper unveiling -- but it was cute how she had gotten so wrapped up in the game.

And the cake! OMG, have we been feasting. Bro-in-law Anthony made the party cake -- in the shape of a magnifying glass. The actual day of Anna's birthday, I made cupcakes and took them to school. And that night, we had an INCREDIBLE chocolate cake that IS TO DIE FOR. (I'm actually craving it again tonight.) It's a good thing I'm in high gear with triathlon training, because it's been a lot of sugar!

Kitchen Duty

When I was assigned kitchen duty for the week at work, I'll admit I first grumbled to myself. After all, I rarely use the kitchen. I occasionally make a cup of tea, and afterwards put my cup in the dishwasher. I have extremely infrequently brought my lunch and used the refridgerator. I don't really use the dishes, other than the occasional mug, and I have even loaded others' abandoned dishes that were left in the sink into the dishwasher. Apparently, not everyone was doing this -- or even at the least, cleaning up after themselves -- and we got a calendar with weekly assignments of kitchen duty. We have a small office here, and I still am grateful my company allowed me to move from NYC to Austin, so I didn't grumble publicly. This week was my week. I like to approach life and situations with two values in mind: I try to leave things better than I found them (or at the least, not worse), and I do my best when I take on an assignment. This is the way I was raised. Monday through Thursday: not a big deal. I ran the dishwasher a couple times and emptied it. Wiped off the counters. Friday: on the list of tasks to do is clean out the fridge and microwave. This is supposed to happen EACH FRIDAY. Yeah, right. The microwave had stuck-on food that had to be scrubbed off. I don't think anyone has ever cleaned that thing. I used bleach wipes and washed my hands afterwards. And then I opened the fridge. Cleaning up after other people like this really gives you a whole new opinion of them. There were plastic bags with containers of food that had mostly been consumed and what was left was dried up and shrunken. There were condiments that expired 6 months ago. And there were some really interesting science experiments going on in there, mold of various color and shape. Again I used bleach wipes and washed my hands afterwards. It is definitely in MUCH better shape than when I entered.

Holding On vs. Letting Go

The other day, as I was slowly entering the highway in rush-hour traffic, I noticed a fly on my windshield. He had landed while I was at the stoplight, and as I accelerated, he tried valiantly to hold on. His body was pushed towards the roof of the car as his little legs gripped with all their might to the windshield. Realizing the inevitable, I found myself thinking, "Just let go!"

And then I thought, how often do we cling to something we know rather than let go and enter the unknown possibilities in the future? I know I have.

We are created as "creatures of habit." We like routines. They are predictable, dependable. They bring order to our lives. But life ALWAYS throws us curve balls, things that rock our foundation and make us wonder about how we define ourselves.

The only constant in this world is change. Intellectually, I know this. But still, some part of me wants to hold on -- hold on to the sweetness of a child's laughter, hold on to the shared camaraderie with a colleague as we work on an assignment, hold on to the excitement of a new flirtation. But the child grows up and the relationship changes, the colleague moves on to a can't-pass-up opportunity, the flirtation evolves into something more or dissolves into nothing.

It's impossible to hold on to those moments. They are all fleeting. And I'm learning that to truly enjoy the moment, we have to also let go of our fears of the future when the moment is gone, and embrace whatever comes next.

Duathlon

As a warm-up to my annual triathlon in June, I agreed to join a friend of mine in a duathlon a couple weekends ago: 2K run, 10 mi bike, 2K run. It was her first ever event like this, and days before the event, she called and said she'd learned that participants can do it in a relay with one person doing the running and one doing the biking. I considered her suggestion -- for maybe 30 seconds -- but I had been training for both and really wanted to do both. She found another friend to share the race with, and they got second place in the relay group!

I was pleased to see my running pace has sped up from last year, no doubt due to the extra training and the expert advice I've been getting from my ultra-fit-marathoner-triathlete personal trainer. (I love her, but she kicks my ass...in a good way.) But I was a little frustrated with my overall time and that my bike time wasn't faster. Always room for improvement, and I still have several months until the tri.

Parisian Reflection

I had a lot of time to myself while in Paris, and reminiscent of my early days in NYC, I spent hours walking the streets and taking in the views of the architecture, people and monuments. Unfortunately, it rained most of the time I was there and I came down with a cold, but I didn't let that stop me. I took the subway to different areas and walked most of the day, stopping occasionally for a crepe with Nutella or a quiche with salad. I loved it, but my legs and feet ached at the end of the day!

A Night Out in Paris

When my friend Irish Parisienne asked what I wanted to do while I was in Paris, I told her, dancing! She organized the evening with some friends, some of whom I had met at New Year's, and we hit a club. Paris nightlife is like NYC's -- starting the evening around 11 p.m. -- and the drinks were appallingly expensive. The music was eclectic, but most of it was dance-able. We had a fun time!

French Farmers' Market

One of my favorite mornings in Paris was spent wandering through the local farmers' market. The amounts and variety of food was amazing, and I just had to take a picture of the lingerie booth...not something we have in our markets in the U.S.!

Just Breathe

I'm finally back on my current time zone. I had a tough time while in Paris, waking up most nights for an hour or two. And returning stateside, I was in Austin for less than 12 hours to unpack and repack for a business trip to Seattle. I was completely jetlagged in Seattle, and the project demanded overtime. I did get one evening with my aunt, uncle, cousin and her new fiance, which was very enjoyable. And then as soon as I landed in Austin, I was off to ballet practice to pick up niece & nephew, Anna & Colin. I stayed with them for the weekend while my sister and bro-in-law had a weekend away with friends.

Whew! Catching my breath now, enjoying snuggling with my cat and sleeping in my own bed.

I haven't yet downloaded the pics from Paris. Will do soon...

Paris, Revisited

Paris is gorgeous, as always, but the weather has been drippy gray and I've been slowed by a cold. As usual, I've been pushing myself to go-go-go, and I'm quite exhausted. Yesterday and today, I walked and walked, taking pictures of buildings and scenes that caught my fancy, stopping to eat when I got hungry, and seeing as much as possible. The people I've met have been very forgiving with my French, and the food has been divine.

The apartment I'm renting has a computer (awesome!) with a French keyboard (frustrating). It's mostly similar to an English one, but has a few differences that slow me tremendously and force me to "hunt and peck." If I were to type as I usually do, here's how this paragraph would turn out:

The qpqrt,ent Iù, renting hqs q co,puter 9qzeso,e1à zith q French keyboqrd 9frustrqting0: Itùs ,ostly si,ilqr to qn English one; but hqs q fez differences thqt sloz ,e tre,endously qnd force ,e to hunt qnd peck: If I zere to type qs I usuqlly do, hereùs hoz this pqrqgrqph zould turn out:

So, this post will be short! :-) I look forward to sharing pictures when I get back stateside.

Travel Time

It's been a relatively quiet 6 weeks so far in 2011 with only a couple brief trips. But the next couple weeks will be on the road. Tomorrow, I go up to Chicago for the day. This means a 6:30 a.m. flight out and coming back around 10 p.m. A very long day.

On Thursday, I leave for Paris. Yep, going back again! I just love that city, as well as my friends there. I'm looking forward to a few days off and just enjoying everything Paris has to offer.

I get back on a Tuesday evening, and take a 7:00 a.m. flight out the next day to Seattle for work. I'll only be there a couple days, and I wish I could stay the weekend to visit my family up there, but I've already committed to staying with my niece & nephew, Anna & Colin, while their parents have a weekend getaway.

And then it will be March! Does anyone else feel like time is flying by as if we're on a rollercoaster? I'm enjoying the ride, though!

Keeping Fit

When I joined the gym, I got some "gym bucks" that you can choose to spend on a variety of activities. I chose to use all of mine for some sessions with a personal trainer. And she's kicking my butt! (in a good way)

She's a triathlete, too, and has already given me suggestions on how to improve my time. (My goal each year is just to beat my previous time, and so far, each year I've done that.) I also told her I wanted to tone up in general. And I may have mentioned I don't like my upper arms...hence the incredible arm workouts she has added to the cardio and strength training.

Most days, some muscle group feels a bit sore. But overall, I feel so much stronger, have more energy and am sleeping like a rock. It's great!

My gym workouts are also supplemented by my sister's Bollywood aerobic class on Sunday nights, too. I'm feeling stronger (and more confident with the steps) there, too, and it's fun!

Celebrating Victories

I went on a hike/walk today. That may not seem like a big accomplishment, and normally, since I consider myself in training for my next triathlon, it's not to me. But I got felled by a nasty case of food poisoning this week, and it knocked the...well, everything out of me. I'm rebuilding slowly, and today was the first day I felt a little stronger. So the walk felt especially precious, and I enjoyed it immensely.

As I walked along the uneven path, I couldn't help but think about how similar it is to life in general. Some really rough patches, but some easy and smooth. Sometimes there were others on the path with me, and sometimes I was all alone. At one point, while I was alone, I came to the end of the path. I looked up and down but couldn't find where the path went. It seemed to have disappeared. I decided to cross over what looked like a dried up river bed, and it was challenging to walk over the rocks set in different angles. I got to the other side, and I found a new path open up to me. I smiled and thought how that has happened in my life so many times. Just when I think the path has disappeared completely, I find a new path.

Ten years ago, I was recovering from my second divorce. Part of that recovery included filing for backruptcy. Part of the debt was truly mine, and part of it was from each of my exes. All of it was overwhelming. But filing for bankruptcy wasn't easy. It affects your credit rating for seven years, but it stays on your record for ten. During that first seven years, there were many times when I was travelling for work and was expected to cover my expenses, filing an expense report afterwards for reimbursement. I had a credit card with a $300 limit, which doesn't go far when you're travelling often or to large cities. More than once I relied on my colleagues to help, but that meant explaining to them why I needed the help. It was a humbling experience, but it guaranteed that I wouldn't make the same mistakes again. I built up a positive credit rating slowly, and learned how to live within my means.

And this month marks the 10 year anniversary when it will be off my record for good. I am proud of what I have accomplished. And I'm really glad that's over! On to the next path...

When You'll Meet "the One"

I watched an indie movie tonight called "Timer." It's set in the future, when a technology has been developed that allows you to know when you will meet your soul mate. People get a timer implanted into their wrist, and when their soul mate also has a timer, it provides you with a countdown -- the days, hours and minutes until you'll meet -- and both people's timers beep when you meet "the one."

Would you want to know?

Some characters in the movie want to fall in love "the old fashioned way" and refuse timers. The heroine goes for most of her life with a blank timer, meaning her soul mate hasn't gotten one, and she drags numerous guys in to the store to get their timers, only to discover they aren't her "one."

It's an interesting premise for a movie. And it sets up some interesting situations. If you know you won't meet anyone for years, what do you do with your time until then? Do you get a lot accomplished, such as degrees or marathons? Do you "save yourself" for the one or enjoy the people you meet in your life and live in the moment?

I think I would want to know, even if I was disappointed with the answer.

What Happened to January?

I feel like this month just disappeared somehow...I can't believe it's already over. Guess I've been keeping busy, so here's a random assortment of thoughts and activities:

At the gym: Although I love the amenities, I've always been shy about changing in public. (And yes, it's women-only in the dressing room, but it still reminds me of junior high days when everyone was looking at and comparing to each others' bodies.) Some women have NO issue with this however, and quite a few I would suspect are exhibitionists. I politely keep my eyes averted, but I couldn't help overhear a conversation between two young moms where one showed off her boob job. Really?! I guess she was proud of the work and maybe had to justify the cost to herself by getting external approval.

On the learning front: I'm taking a tele-course by Martha Beck, best-selling author and life coach, and I'm LOVING it. Of course, there's quite a bit of homework to factor into my busy weeks, but I'm learning so much about myself and gaining new perspectives. More to come on this.

On life and death: A friend and former colleague of mine passed away last week after a hard battle with pancreatic cancer. He was just 41 and was diagnosed just after his wedding 6 months ago. Ray was one of those energetic, charismatic people that draws people to them, and although I am saddened by his death at such a young age, I truly admire how he lived his life.

On crazy Texas weather: We had a beautiful, spring-like weekend. It was unbelievably warm and sunny. But in just a few short days, we will be hit with another winter storm. The extremes are amazing, so I had to share a iPhone visual for those who won't be here to experience it in person (and I've included the Celsius version for my European fans):



On creativity: One of my colleagues is pregnant with her first, a baby girl, and she has been one of the most welcoming to me on my transition to the Austin office. I enjoyed making her a baby quilt (this pic was taken in progress), and her reaction to it was truly touching.


So next up: February! More winter weather, travel, personal victories to celebrate...2011 is off to a roaring start.

And with my Chinese food lunch, my fortune is "A lifetime of happiness lies ahead of you." I believe that's true. :-)

Hitting the Gym

I joined a new gym. It is Texas-sized HUGE! The facility is really impressive with so many classes, equipment and things to do. It's close to my place, and I'm enjoying going. Being January, I start to think about my triathlon in June -- just five months away! So I have to ramp up my exercise program to get ready.

I've been finding it's not too difficult to motivate myself to go. Partially it's because there is a lot of eye candy (although not everyone is perfect, so I don't feel intimidated), but I'm also drawn to the steam room. I LOVE IT!

I think I might need a steam room in my dream home...

Some are Gold

Anyone else remember this song from Girl Scout days?

"Make new friends, but keep the old,

Some are silver and the other gold."

I had an amazing time visiting with some great friends yesterday. First, I flew up to Dallas for a few hours to reunite with my gal pals and have our belated Christmas Lunch Bunch. One of them said we've been doing this for 13 years or so now, and because of my insane travel schedule in December, I had to push it to January. But we wished each other a merry Christmas anyway and had a lovely time visiting and catching up. It's always interesting to me to hear what everyone is doing with each at different stages of our lives: one is actively raising 3 little ones while another is about to send her second to college and one is about to get married (time for a shower to celebrate!). Lots of joy, and I value our strong friendship bonds.

Facebook is great to catch up with people from years past. Of course, there's always the ones I don't remember (we went to high school together? And you remember that?), but many people I've enjoyed catching up with and seeing what they are up to now. One former colleague who actually did go to high school with me (although we didn't know each other then), emailed to ask if we could get together while she and her husband were in Austin this weekend. So after landing, I met up with them for dinner. We had a great visit and caught some live music that Austin is so famous for on 6th Street. I got home after midnight with a full heart.

The Rest of Paris

Belated, I know, but here's a quick summary of the rest of my amazing trip to Paris.

Irish Parisienne and the French Guy both had to work come Monday, so I was free to do my own thing. I started most days with a walk down to the bakery to grab a croissant and a coffee. My bits of the French language improved each day, but I was still limited to "This please" and "Merci!" However, seeing as I didn't go hungry, I guess I did fine.

I decided to do some shopping on Monday, and IP met me later that afternoon for a movie. I find the Metro system easy to navigate in Paris (probably learned behavior from my years in NYC), and I'm good with maps. IP told me to meet her outside Saint Eustache Church, by the statue of the head in a hand. Her description was perfect, and as I sat near the statue waiting for her, a bum came up and asked me something in French. I politely explained I didn't understand (one of my key learned phrases), to which he angrily asked something like "you don't speak French?" in French. I said No, and he threw his hands out to the sides and asked, "Cigarette?" As a devout non-smoker, I had to again say No, and he walked off in a huff. I was so tickled by the interchange, and had to suppress more giggles later when he walked by and looked at me withcontempt again later.

After our movie, IP went home to do some more work, and I met French Guy for dinner. It was lovely. We ate at a typical brasserie, and I had a delicious roast chicken with mashed potatoes and French wine. Afterwards, we went by the Eiffel Tower so I could get an obligatory picture.

Tuesday was my last day, and I went to the Musee d'Orsay. Monet is my favorite, and I had been told they had the most of his pieces. I decided to save his work for the end, and I really enjoyed the sculptures. When I got to the Monet section, I was horrified to find a paltry four or five pieces with a sign saying the majority had been leant to the Musee National Grand Palais. I looked it up and took the subway over there, just to learn they were closing the exhibit at 2:00, precisely the time I had arrived. I was very disappointed.

Later, I met up with IP again and did a little more shopping (where we both bought the same dress, even in the same size!), and we stopped for a Kir Royale. We had a lovely dinner together. It's so easy spending time with her. She is definitely a soul-mate kind of friend.

French Guy offered to take me to the airport the next morning, which was sweet and very helpful. We arrived extra early to accommodate for any morning traffic, and after checking me in, we grabbed a coffee and croissant. Then the police started moving everyone back away from the eating area. At first, it just seemed annoying. We could hear announcements that a woman had left a bag unattended. They continued to move us back across the terminal, and we heard a loud BOOM that made me scream (and French Guy jumped), which was probably the police and security blowing up the bag. I was also getting nervous as the clocked ticked by because I still had to get through security. French Guy was sweet and gave me lots of kisses and hugs, saying this was his "best New Year's ever. And January 1, and January 3..." I didn't want to leave.

Since being home, I have emailed with him and asked if I could see him again. While some of my friends expressed some dislike when learning he's Jewish, it didn't bother me, but ironically, my not being Jewish is why he won't consider me as anything more. Rejection is never easy, but I wasn't that invested. And we'll always have Paris...

A Day in the French Countryside

(Well, maybe that's stretching it a bit. We were in a Parisian suburb, though.)

Irish Parisienne got an invitation to a friend's for lunch on Sunday, and they graciously extended the offer to me as well. Her friend is an Irish artist who married a French woman. They were absolutely lovely. She made a fantastic feast for us -- vegetarian in respect for I.P. -- and I was surprised by all the courses! First, there was miso soup, followed by roast vegetables and a stew made with eggplant, tomatoes and chick peas. I thought this was it and was completely satisfied. Then she brought out salad and cheeses (blue and brie), and finally an apple dessert made with hazelnut flour with coffee and tea. It was all so delicious, but I didn't have to eat again for the rest of the day!

After the meal, I took a walk with the two Irish, and we saw this beautiful chateau:

The time is flying by too quickly.

A Most Unusual First Date, and then some

A couple weeks ago, I got an email from a friend in NY asking if I was going to be in Austin as he was thinking of visiting a warmer climate. I replied yes, I would be in Austin until my trip to Paris. That piqued his attention, and he asked if I was travelling with anyone. I explained I was going on my own to visit my friend Irish Parisienne, and he asked if he could join me, admitting it was a crazy request. (This is all over email.) I agreed it was a crazy request, especially since we had never even gone on a first date! So he proposed coming to Austin, taking me out on a date or two, and if it went well, accompanying me to Paris, at least for a couple days. I said that sounded okay, but then when he went to book his flights, he realized if he didn't book all the cities at once, he would have unused tickets so he just decided to do the whole thing. I felt a bit pressured at this, but I didn't say anything other than to insist that he not "expect" anything from me and that getting his own accommodations was a requirement.

We had a couple dates in Austin as we had planned. He's very intelligent and I enjoyed showing him around a bit, but I didn't feel anything when he kissed me. (Just pecks, nothing sloppy.)

When we arrived in Paris, I was predictably jet-lagged and not wanting to do much sight-seeing the first day here. (I knew this would be the case and had explained that to him, however, since he was only here for 2 days -- had to get back for work -- he was eager to pack in as much as possible.) Things got a little tense, but we split up and did our own things.

The one thing the NYer really wanted to do while in Paris was Disneyland, so we spent the majority of New Year's Eve day there at the park. (See pictures below.) That night, Irish Parisienne got us invited along to a party of a friend's for New Year's Eve, and we arrived with our obligatory 10 Euros for food and a bottle of champagne each. It was a great party, and the Parisians were friendly and spoke English fluently. We drank much champagne, feasted on smoked salmon and other hors-d'ouvers and danced to American music. And then I kissed a Frenchman.

I think that pretty much took care of having to explain to the NYer that I wasn't interested in him as more than a friend. I did feel bad that I hadn't had "the talk" with him prior to that, and to be honest, I guess I chickened out. However, I didn't plan on kissing another guy, it just happened. (He was cute and nice and we just clicked.) Anyway...a bit of drama. More drama was involved as there was a French girl at the party who has quite a crush on the French guy I kissed. But said French guy insisted he isn't interested in her and only thinks of her as a friend, so something like this was bound to happen.

The NYer was very good about the whole thing. I apologized, but he said "no worries." He left New Year's day to go back to NYC as planned.

And me? I got a cute new Frenchman to show me around and take me to lunch on New Year's Day.