Monday, April 11, 2011
Dating?
People keep asking me if I'm dating. My response is, "I'm open to it!" I just haven't had any opportunities, but sure, I would like to go out. Not dating makes for a very boring blog, I know. My life right now is full of work, family time, work, travel for work, studying & homework, and training for the triathlon. I honestly don't know when I'd fit in a date anyway. For the past two Friday nights, I've scheduled sessions with my trainer. At least the gym is pretty empty on Friday nights! I was talking to a friend who is having some complicated relationship issues, and I sighed with relief that I don't have to deal with that. I've had my share of drama with boys, and I'm thankful not to have that in my life. And then recently a smug-in-a-happy-relationship friend asked me if I'm lonely. I answered honestly -- yes, sometimes, but I'm also enjoying my life as it is -- but she persisted, "But doesn't it get SO LONELY?" It got to me, making me focus on the lack instead of the abundance I have. I know part of me is fiercely independent. I don't want to be dependent on anyone for anything, but the truth is, we all need other people in our lives. Is it possible to have a relationship without dependence? I guess until I reconcile this in my head, it's best that I just focus on me.
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4 comments:
I think it IS a bit of a battle to remain content in our single states. There are good things and bad things.. same as being in a relationship. Hang in there! Sounds like you're doing good things to keep busy.
Most people would like to have that someone special in their lives, to feel they are part of a unit, someone who has their back in a way even family doesn't. And while one has to give up a certain level of independence to be part of a unit, it doesn't mean one has to give up one's self in the sense of subsuming oneself to the point of disappearing. One continues to have a life independent of one's partner. And if one doesn't have such a partner, it doesn't mean one can't have a fulfilling life. Most of us can't have everything, and we don't necessarily stop wanting what we don't have, but not having a partner shouldn't define one. After all, one never feels lonelier than in a bad relationship.
One day the right guy will come along and part of what will make him the right guy is he will appreciate you and cherish you just as you are, positives and negatives and all attributes in between.
So nice to hear jman's comments again!
The best relationships are those without dependence -- those in which you are together because you want to be together, not because you need to be together.
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