Quick Update

Sorry for no posts. Work has run me ragged, travelling most of last week and this one, and now I've come down with bronchitis. No surprise really. The body just can't take that much.

People who don't travel for work think it must be so great. They don't realize you don't see much of the city you travel to. It's airport, hotel, client, hotel, airport. When I arrived in Miami earlier this week (usually a great getaway), they were experiencing a power outage. So I couldn't even connect to the Internet and work (or blog).

I'm behind in my work. But all I want to do is sleep!

Men & Women

I'm in St. Louis for the majority of this week, meeting with colleagues from all over the globe and attending training sessions. I love meeting the colleagues; the all-day training sessions are a bit draining.

When I went from my previous employer -- a privately owned, relatively small company -- to my current employer -- a part of a publicly traded company with offices around the globe, several of my friends and family members remarked that maybe I would meet some interesting guys through my work.

I have learned that while this field attracts great communicators, the majority of the men in my company are married or gay. Plus, the men are WAY outnumbered by the women.

I work with a number of bright, successful, attractive, single women. It's interesting to note when we have a company function and there is one single male, all the single women flock to him. The guy must love it. It seems a bit pathetic in reflection, but I'm not so sure it's all about just looking for a mate. I think it's also about the balance. I appreciate the balance of men and women in conversation and in work. I think people from all backgrounds bring interesting points to the table, and I missed the influence of testosterone when I worked at an almost-all-female office early on in my career.

Girls Night

I had drinks with my girlfriends Kelly and Christine on Friday. We met downtown, near my apartment and close to Christine's office. Kelly's husband Sammy is working construction on a building down there, and she suggested we check in on the guys. (They had gotten off at 3:30 and were a few drinks ahead of us.) As we three girls walked into the all-male-patroned bar, we received shouts, like "Hurrah" and guys instantly vacated bar stools. The reception was a bit overwhelming, and had the other two not been with me, I would have run for the door. But we found Sammy, who in addition to being a sweetheart is built like a football player and very protective of us all. He started introducing us to the guys he works most closely with, saying "This is my wife Kelly, this is my cousin Christine," and then he looked at me and, again wanting everyone to know not to mess with us, said, "and this is my sister Emily." Now, Sammy is of Puerto Rican descent, and I am as pale as pale gets with blonde hair. Needless to say, his comment caused a few to raise their eyebrows.

One very intoxicated fellow offered to buy us girls drinks. Kelly felt bad about this (because there were 3 of us), but the other guys laughed, saying the offer came from someone who is usually very tight and doesn't buy his share of rounds with the guys. I just wondered aloud what he would expect in return for the drinks, but Sammy said I was worried for nothing.

A little while later, our drunk one-time generous friend came back and asked Kelly and Christine, "How about a buy-back?" While they both tried to think of how to respond politely, I really couldn't stand it. "Are you kidding me?" I said. "I can't BELIEVE this. This would never happen in Texas, but maybe that's why they say we have gentlemen in the South." The guy stood his ground, and I asked, "Are you single?"
"Yes," he replied proudly.
I said, "And that's why."

The girls busted out laughing, and needless to say, we got out of there without having to buy him another drink.

The other hilarious thing that happened was when Christine, annoyed with having to answer the same repeated questions from another guy who'd had too many, finally answered his question of "Where do you live?" with "Germany."
"Sprechen Sie Deutsch?" he asked.
"No, and it's been a very tough year."
He persisted, saying "You really don't know ANY German?"
"No," Christine said, "That's why it's been so difficult!"
He deserved it. He was like talking to an elderly relative that asks you the same questions every 15 minutes.

While we didn't meet any eligible or interesting guys, we had a lot of laughs together, so it was a great night.

Anti-Valentine Party

Remember in junior high when you'd go to dances, where no one was really dancing, and everyone milled around awkwardly in a dimly lit gymnasium?

That's what last night's Anti-Valentine Party reminded me of, complete with 80's music. (At least the music was good.) Except there were no popular people and there was a multitude of geeks. I know it will make me sound very snobbish, but it seemed like the coalition of the rejects.

Besides the fact that there were almost 2 women for every man, and every girl (except me) had dragged a girlfriend along to at least talk to, I was stunned at the number of older singles. The biggest compliment I got of the night was from a guy who looked older than my dad ('course, my dad looks good for his age!) who told me, "I'm glad to see there's someone attractive here tonight." Kinda smarmy, but that was as good as it got.

Each person was handed half a Valentine with instructions to "find your other half." Cute idea, and it gave you an easy opener to talk to people. But in looking around the room, I realized I didn't really want to approach any of these guys. I talked myself into it after a half-price Cosmopolitan (hey, the bartender wasn't half bad looking), and began asking if anyone had the other half to a Spiderman Valentine. I ended up talking to three guys. The first was really awkward. He seemed nice, but I wasn't at all interested and the conversation was challenging. The second guy would have been okay to talk to except for the bad breath. I felt bad for him, because he was obviously chewing gum, but it wasn't enough to overcome the halitosis. The third guy, while probably 10 years older than me, was decent enough. We were having a good time discussing NY neighborhoods in regards to restaurants. His buddy, who was probably the best looking guy in the joint, was talking to a woman much older, probably in her 50's. At a mutual break in the conversation, the buddy introduced me to her and to his friend and then arrogantly said, "Okay, ladies, well, it was nice talking to you! Good luck tonight!" An obvious brush-off!

At that, it had been an hour, and I decided I was better off alone on my couch, enjoying some Indian take-out and wine with my snuggly cat.

Kiss Kiss

In recognition of Valentine's Day, I'd like to share some recent data about kissing that comes from Albright College in Pennsylvania.

Kissing, smooching, snogging...what does it really mean? The hypotheses were
1) It can be used as a mate assessment
2) It promotes bonding
3) It induces sexual arousal

Researchers found support for all three of these hypotheses, and found that women place more emphasis on the taste and smell of the person they kiss than men do. (Men tend to have less acute senses of taste and smell than women.) Kissing is also a bigger potential deal-breaker for women than for men. Men were more likely to expect kissing to lead to sex. (No big surprise there.)

Though it's been a while since I've had a proper kiss (not counting the sweet ones from my niece and nephew this weekend), I have had several deal-breaker kissers that stand out in my memory. In high school, I was thrilled to have a date with a popular guy until we got to the kiss. He slobbered so much I had to wipe my chin! Gross! Smell is also very important to me, and when you get that close to someone, you get a nose-ful of their scent. One guy smelled like cedar and my mind wandered to hamster cages filled with cedar shavings.

Tonight I'm headed to an Anti-Valentine's Party for single NYers. I'm not expecting to kiss anyone, just hoping to meet some new friends and who knows? Maybe someone I'd like to see again.

Memories from the Weekend

Here are a few pictures from my visit to Houston.
The twins had a pirate-themed birthday party to attend, and Graham had his mom draw a mustache for it.
The baby I'm holding is Toby, son of friends Katie & Nick. He was completely relaxed and deeply asleep.

Puffy Coat Day

It's snowing! It's snowing!

I am one of the few people in my office excited to see the white stuff starting to accumulate outside. Just got back last night from a lovely warm weekend in Houston, where I was the recipient of many hugs and kisses from my family. I neglected to bring my camera to work today, so I will have to post pictures tomorrow.

It was great to see familiar faces and to get so many hugs and kisses, especially from the little people! Paige and Graham, my 4-year-old niece and nephew twins, flanked me most meals, and I often had one of their precious hands in mine as we walked along. The newest member to my sister Steph's family, Evelyn, is as lovely as her name. She is a sweet baby with smiles that light up the room and a belly laugh that we all try to induce as often as possible.

I've been neglecting my blog a bit of late. Partially, this was due to a rebellious nature in me. After posting nearly daily for a couple weeks and receiving hardly any comments, I decided to stay quieter. (I live for comments!) However, it was also partially due to a saddened state brought on by homesickness and unending gray weather. For now, at least, I am rejuvenated by my family and enthralled by the beauty of the snow. And I got to break out my "puffy coat," aptly named for its appearance and warmly stuffed with down. It's so comfortable and warm, it feels like I'm wearing a sleeping bag.

GIANTS among men

What a great way to start my first year in NY -- a tremendous upset by the NY Giants to win the Superbowl.

I travelled over to Jersey City to watch the game at a local bar with my friends from New Year's. It was great fun being with a large group of cheering fans. We stood throughout the second half as it got more exciting, and one guy started us all chanting, "Let's go Giants, let's go! [stomp, stomp]" as if they could hear us...

When the time ran out and our win was secure, people were hugging and high-fiving complete strangers. The excitement filled the air all the way back to the city, with cheering crowds everywhere.

Unfortunately, I have to miss the ticker-tape parade this morning to attend a client meeting in Jersey. Walking by City Hall last night, (where the parade concludes with speeches by players, coaches and the mayor) I saw the preparations in building a scaffold and hanging NY Giants banners. This morning, the streets were already beginning to fill with blue, white and red-decked fans.

Seeing a Different Part of the City

Guess where I was yesterday? Harlem!

I was there all day to meet with a new client. I've heard and read so much about Harlem, I've been wanting to go and see it for myself. Of course, I've rarely felt so white. While there is a significant Hispanic population now in Harlem, the majority of the residents are black. And then there's me, walking around in my white coat with my whitey-white skin. No worries, as in the rest of NY, no one pays much attention to you.

Our new clients are fantastic, and it's going to be a pleasure to work with them. We went to a Jamaican themed restaurant for lunch and toured a couple facilities where we might have an event.

Interesting Trends

I met yesterday with a vendor, and after commenting on all my beautiful nieces and nephews whose pictures adorn my shelves, he mentioned that at his 20-year high school reunion, he and his wife were surprised to find they weren't the only ones with young children. He said he thinks our generation -- the Generation X thirty-somethings -- are in general waiting later to have kids. Hm. Maybe. I guess I've always measured my experiences with my sisters, both of whom already have kids.

I've also noticed in talking to other single thirty-something women here in NYC that the trend is definitely to get married later in life. They comment how surprised they are with friends and family in the South getting married so young.

In a conversation earlier this week with a 36-year-old friend who's just gotten married, she talked about how once she reached her thirties, she broadened her idea of the type of guy she was looking for. She didn't exclude someone from possibility just because of religion or profession, for example.

Another friend mentioned it to me in a more disturbing way, saying since the field has narrowed considerably as we get older, you get a lot less picky about who's attractive.

The thing is, as I've gotten older, I've gotten MORE discerning. In my case, maybe this is a good thing! I think I settled too much when choosing previous marriage partners. I've also found that as I've gotten more successful in my career, my potential date-ables have lessened. I don't want to be a sugar-mama, and many men still find it threatening if a woman is more successful than they are.

Impromtu Happy Hour

My friend Kelly invited me out on Tuesday to an impromptu happy hour and to meet her friend Christine. I have friends! :-)

Tragic Endings

The City is shocked and saddened by the sudden death of Heath Ledger in his SoHo apartment. It is so sad to lose someone so young and so talented.

But then it makes me think of all the other young men and women who are dying in service to their country, unknown and unheralded.

From Oh-So-Warm to Bitter Cold

Miami was warm, humid 80*. I came back to frigid temperatures with wind chills making it feel like 18*! Still, I do like it. (crazy, I know.)

Miami was great, but exhausting. Being "on" and meeting so many new people, presenting multiple times in a day just wore me out. It was wonderful to be at the luxurious Four Seasons with their incredible beds and a bathroom bigger than my kitchen. I slept so well without any interruptions from construction!

I went to the beach on Saturday with my boss and his family. We rented an umbrella because they are as pale and sunburn-prone as I am. I found I was much more accostumed to the heat and humidity than they were, though. (They're Canadian...they handle the cold much better than I do!)

I had a massage on Saturday morning by this gorgeous guy. My mind wandered, thinking how this is the first time in a long time a man has touched me, and I'm paying him for it! Ha ha!

I did get to eat Cuban food, as well as Mojitos and key lime pie. It was delicious. Now I'm working it off...running, walking and lifting weights.

Flying back into NYC, we had a perfect view of downtown, and I was able to locate my building amid all the high rises. I do like living here.

Anticipating Cuban Food

I'm travelling to Miami this morning for a couple of presentations to the global leaders of my company. I will get the opportunity to meet the CEO, who I've been told has already heard about me.

I had to get up at 3:30 this morning. Freakishly early! It always makes me feel a little sick to my stomach. I'll sleep on the plane, though.

I'm staying in Miami for the weekend. Looking forward to seeing a beach and getting some delicious Cuban food. It's not TexMex, but it's tasty!

Waiting

I've been contemplative lately. I feel like something is missing in my life, and I'm not altogether sure that the missing piece is a someone. It's a feeling that is difficult to put into words...like a sense of discontentedness.

Looking at my bookshelf this weekend, my eye happened upon the perfect book to re-read at this point: When the Heart Waits by Sue Monk Kidd. She talks about the spiritual significance of waiting and likens it to a butterfly in a chrysalis. I began reading it last night and was struck by several passages, including these:

" ...the life of the spirit is never static. We're born on one level, only to find some new struggle toward wholeness gestating within...and rarely do significant shifts come without a sense of our being lost in dark woods..."

"Waiting...involves listening to disinherited voices within, facing the wounded holes in the soul, the denied and undiscovered, the places one lives falsely. It means struggling with the vision of who we really are in God and molding the courage to live that vision."

Many months before I left Dallas, I mentioned to my therapist that I felt the need to do something differently. I told her I had entertained the idea of getting rid of all my possessions and going abroad to help on mission-work, like Doctors without Borders.

In moving to New York, I did get rid of many possessions. Some were easier to part with than others, and in many ways, it was freeing to pare down. I've also stripped away other things that used to define who I was, some by conscious choice...I've had to let go of a few relationships, though it breaks my heart, and hope it's for the best.

I'm waiting to see what's in store for me next. I'm anxious, but trying to be patient. As the butterfly must struggle against it's cocoon to strengthen its wings, I want to be ready for the next stage and know I'm where I need to be for the moment.

The Best-Laid Plans...

I recently read an online article from Redbook titled "This is what Adoption feels like." I do so want to have children someday, and as the clock keeps ticking along with no appropriate man in sight, I like to research my options.

I really enjoyed the author's intro to the article, where she writes, "I recently found an old diary from my teenage years, where I blithely wrote about my future, figuring I would get married around 28 and have children soon after." Isn't it sweetly naive how as children, we think just because we want something it will happen?

My niece Anna has recently been thinking about being a flower girl. As I am her one unmarried aunt, she has me in her plans. "Can I be your flower girl when you get married?" she asked me, unaware that I've been married before, before she was born.
Of course. "Well, when do you think you'll get married?" Ah, that's the question, isn't it?

Actually, I now wonder if I will get married again. There are many things I like about being on my own. Not that I wouldn't enjoy having a partner to share things with, but I'm trying to be content with whatever life hands me.

The Ice Luge

For those of you who had a hard time imagining it, here's a video:

Detoxifying Seaweed

Steph gave me a very generous gift card to Bliss Spa, and I decided to use half of it to try their Deep Sea Detox, which is described as "firming oil, lymph drainage, French marine seaweed hot pack and stimulating shower combo in this relaxing and detoxifying wrap simultaneously slims, remineralizes, relaxes and hydrates." A friend and I who are starting off the new year with a diet agreed to go together and kick off our weight loss with a good detox.


It's not a treatment for the modest. They give you one of those lovely disposable thongs to wear, and that's it. The therapist first massaged my limbs with an aromatic essential oil blend to stimulate the lymph. She then slathered on their Fat Girl Slim cream on my thighs. Then I was coated all over with the seaweed mud and wrapped in a mylar foil blanket and a heated blanket like a burrito. To make sure I was warm enough (!) she piled four or five blankets on top of me and left me to "bake" (her word) for 15 minutes. I got uncomfortably hot, but she said that's what I'm supposed to do. She unwrapped me and brought a body-long collection of shower heads over me to rinse off the muck. It felt kinda weird, showering laying down, naked except for a flimsy material below in front of this woman. She finished me off with more Fat Girl Slim cream for my thighs and a body butter cream for my arms. I felt very soft.

I'm down about a pound this morning (had to check!) and the treatment was very relaxing. Let's hope it kicks everything into gear!

Discombobulated

Ever had one of those days where everything seems off?

I left my apartment this morning with that feeling that I was forgetting something...

It's rainy and still warm, which means I probably shouldn't have even bothered to fix my hair, except I have lunch with a vendor today. I got to work sweaty and hot. Yuk!

The company decided I should move offices. Someone who had a coveted office retired, so a senior partner moved. My boss took his old office, and I got my boss's old office. It's bigger, so that's nice, but everything here is on the opposite side of where I had it before. Although most of my afternoon was open yesterday, I got moved 15 minutes before a conference call. So, I haven't had time to unpack everything, and when I go to look for something, it's not in its usual place. Then I type and my wounded pointer finger smarts! Ack!

And I finally remembered what I forgot at home. My sister Steph's birthday present! I bought it last weekend, finally wrapped it last night, and had planned on mailing it today. Oh well. I can send it 2-day tomorrow so it still gets there on time.

Crazy Yankees

We're having a bit of balmy Dallas-like weather in NY this week, and today's high is supposed to be around 66*. So I was stunned to see so many of my fellow NYers still wrapped up in their puffy coats, Ugg boots, scarves and hats! I eschewed any winter gear today and instead chose to wear a bright orange dress jacket that was a gift from Steph. I would be sweating up a storm if I dressed like most of the people I've seen. I've been surprised ever since it started getting slightly cooler in November how much people have wrapped up. I agree it was needed on those days when we had a bitter wind and high of 15*, but it almost seemed as if people were wearing their winter gear because of the calendar, rather than the weather forecast. Perhaps they don't watch the weather news.

In Dallas, I remember longing for cooler weather and the chance to perhaps wear a cotton sweater without feeling suffocated. And on one trip to England in the spring, when we still felt chilled and needed a light jacket, I remember seeing hopeful Brits striding around in shorts. So it seems odd to me that NYers, who should be accostumed to a proper winter, seem so cold-natured.