Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Motherly Meddling

I had drinks with some girlfriends from my previous job on Monday. It was so great to catch up with them and just laugh about silly stuff. One of them mentioned that her mom recently gave her an article about the top 10 online dating services, and another commented that her mom is always trying to set her up with anyone from "a waiter to a skater" (said as we were close by the skaters practicing at Union Square). They definitely both feel some pressure by their mothers to find someone and "settle down." (I don't get this pressure from my mother...perhaps because I've already been married...twice?)

Then last night, I went to a casual get-together at my apartment building. I'd been invited by a paper that was slipped under my door. Only 6 of us showed up, but everyone was very nice and interesting. One older couple were both very accomplished and great conversationalists. When a single young guy came and joined us, the woman said, "We've got a single 31-year-old daughter!" We all laughed as he politely agreed to meet her at some point in the undetermined future.

Do you think it's just because these moms want their daughters to be happy, and they are defining happy as in a relationship? Or is our society still defining personal success as someone who is married? There are such mixed messages for young women. Are we complete on our own or do we need someone to complete us?


EdamameMommy said...

No, the answer to this is already here --see entry "One is the loneliest number" and imagine your daughter writing it -- you'd be compelled to help increase her happiness, not complete her, just find the missing companion in her otherwise fab life. I hold out hope but leave the sourcing to you. Keep an open mind. Skaters need love too. ;)

Anonymous said...

You are on the button there,Stephanie! A.Norma.x

paula said...

Got to agree with Steph, think it's just a case of wanting your "baby" to have someone to make her even happier. XX

Average Jane said...

My mom finally took to paying for an online dating service on my behalf. Bless her heart. Her latest move was to convince me to date a man 16 years my senior with a 5 year old son. "Ready made family!" she tells me. At least she stopped thinking I was gay just because I couldn't get a date. No mom. Not gay. Just not desirable :)