Finally, Just Me

I've been reading through my old posts. Wow, there was a time there when I was dating a lot! I need to recreate that again...

I also posted a couple years ago about trying to wean off the antidepressants. Well, this year, I did it successfully.

When I turned 36 in late May, I realized I've been on antidepressants for 12 years, a third of my life! I decided that I had the will and the coping mechanisms now to try life's challenges on my own. Knowing from last time the withdrawal effects I would experience, I talked to my doctor about weaning off my dose is small increments. She didn't think I would have that much dizziness and should be able to complete the process in a couple weeks, but I disagreed and told her what it was like for me before. I did it "my way," and six weeks after I started, the weaning process was concluded.

It's been about eight weeks since then, and I'm doing well. The biggest change I've noticed (which isn't THAT big at all) is that I feel all of my emotions more acutely. The antidepressants seem to put a damper on everything, and now I feel anger, sadness, elation...all very clearly.

I've been a little sad lately, as may be obvious in my previous post. I'm lonely and miss my friends. I cry, but it's not the uncontrollable, unceasing crying of depression. And I still enjoy the small things, like the squirrels in the park or watching a toddler take wobbly steps. I'm doing okay.

Giving a long-distance friend this update a few days ago, he asked if I regretted getting on the antidepressants. Not at all. I think they helped me get through a rough time and supported me while I grew personally and learned new ways of dealing with the crap life throws at you. But I am proud of myself for taking off those "training wheels"....