The Other Person's Children

A couple years ago, my mom made an observation to me that given my age and the fact that I want to date men who are age appropriate, it was very likely that a potential mate would have kids from a previous relationship. I agreed that it was likely, and I wondered what that would be like. I've always been predisposed to love children and have often thought of adopting or foster parenting. But this would be different.

My relationship with Steve (prior to using code names on the blog) was my first experience with that. Unfortunately, his relationship with his ex was strained -- to put it mildly -- and he rarely saw his kids who lived with their mom in a neighboring state. The kids were 10 and 12; one struggling with behavioral challenges and the other with puberty. And both were still reeling from the divorce and not prepared to see their dad with someone else. While not the deciding factor in my calling it quits, the situation and tension with the ex put additional strain on our relationship.

With Fly Boy and his girlios, it's completely different. For one, he and his ex have a relationship based on friendship and agree on how they are raising the kids. He has the girls 50% of the time, not just sporadic weekends, and the girls are very secure in both their parent's love. They have seen their dad date before, and they have embraced me. They are younger and have also had a couple years to come to terms with their parents not being together, and they are well-behaved, sweet children. So while it is mind-blowing to go from spending my time as 1 to 1+1+3, it is a happy chaos.