I've been neglecting the blog. Work is crazy as ever (certifiably insane kind of crazy), and I'm in triathlon training mode, going to the gym or the pool every day. And I just haven't felt like blogging much. But I do have a story to share...Jury Duty guy.
We finally found an evening that worked for both of us, and he let me pick the place. I found a nice bar/lounge in Soho not too far from my office. The date was for drinks, but we stayed for several hours and shared some appetizers to keep some sort of check on the blood-alcohol levels. He asked me a lot of questions about myself -- almost to the point where he wasn't doing much talking about himself -- but did sprinkle in several compliments about my appearance and warned me "I'm going to flirt with you." Great, bring it on. I like my share of flirting.
Only, apparently, he doesn't really understand how to flirt, the innuendo and suggestive dialogue. His definition of flirting is decidedly more crass and obvious.
After laying his cards on the table and telling me that he wanted to be completely honest with me that he's not interested in a relationship, he started to "flirt." He asked me things like what position is my favorite, my bra size, and other things which I can't even write. I deflected the questions. It was obvious he's just looking for a good time gal, and while I can be fun to be around, I'm not looking for his type of rendezvous.
He said, "Oh, you're a relationship girl," in such an accusing tone I defended myself and disagreed with him. I'm not afraid to be alone, and steadfastly believe it's better to be on my own than in the wrong relationship (see divorce #1 and #2). I'm not one who is anxiously looking to be married just to be married. But I would like to meet someone and see where it goes, naturally letting it develop into something more, or not, as opposed to having the boundaries of what this could or couldn't be defined on the first date.
So he asked me if I wanted to come over and watch a movie at his place the next night. No thanks. I want more than just a friend-with-benefits, and I deserve to be treated with more respect.
8 comments:
Hmm. So not so much flirting as harrassment, then?
I love your sense of self. This guy sounds like his definition of a 'relationship' is a hooker free of charge. Yuck. You are so much better than that. (You are much more tolerant than me, though. As soon as the jerk said he's not looking for a relationship but then started asking my bra size, etc I would have paid my bill and walked out.)
Blonde: Yes, harassment is a better description!
Anonymous: LOL! But I made him pay -- the least he could do.
I've only been through jury duty once and something that has stayed with me about it even years later is that I can't ever remember being confined to such a relatively small room with a group of people that I had nearly nothing in common with other than that we were selected for jury duty.
Maybe it's that way by design. But it struck me with fear that I could one day end up charged with a crime and have such a motley group of people decide whether I was guilty or not.
Hmm, it sounds like your experience with jury duty, even if ultimately self imposed, was even more egregious than mine, where on a jury we spent a solid afternoon debating about how and why a $20 bill would end up in the crack of a guy's derriere. At least we knew whatever the answer he wasn't flirting! And no it wasn't the latest trend in hipster wallets.
Yet another guy (yours) with the self awareness of a newt (no offense meant to newts!). Good thing he announced he was flirting otherwise you might have wondered exactly what he WAS doing!
Oh what a drag. Creep.
..ATTAGIRL,Em!!! cheeky sod! I too would have got up and walked away..canna do with creeps like that! :(
A.Norma.x
great post. Maybe you should carry a ruler next time so you'd have your quid pro quo ready for this form of "flirting"
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