Cruel

So the last post was an attempt at foreshadowing. Is anyone curious what happened with Cuban Musician? (This happened several weeks ago, but I needed time before I could talk/write about it.)

CM travels often for various gigs, getting jobs in London, Miami, Connecticut. One week he was in the Dominican Republic. He sent me text messages throughout the week, letting me know he'd be back on Saturday. He has a standing gig in NYC on Saturday at a place in the East Village, so I texted him that I would see him there.

When I arrived, the place was not as crowded as usual. CM was playing when I walked in, and instead of the usual big smile, he had a strange look on his face when he saw me. I tried not to worry too much about it and made my way to the bar, saying hi to people I knew from my many previous times there.

As I talked to one old guy, a regular who is also a great dancer, he mentioned that he couldn't remember my name but knew I was the one with CM.

A girl who was sitting next to him at the bar turned around and introduced herself. She asked me what he meant by the comment "with CM." I explained we were dating, and she asked me "What do you mean, dating?" Thinking this was strange, I said, "You know, dating. We've had dinners together..."

She asked me again to clarify, and then explained, "I'm asking what do you mean by dating because I'm his WIFE."

You could have knocked me over with a feather. TOTAL SHOCK.

(Just in case you were wondering, yes, I asked him when I first met him, "Are you married? Have you ever been married?" to which he answered No to both. And after dating him for 2 months, he started telling me he loved me. I wasn't ready to feel that, let alone say that back, but it was obvious from what he said and how he treated me that he was getting serious. Or so I thought.)

I immediately stammered out an apology to this woman, explaining I had NO IDEA he was married and never would have gotten involved with him if I had. She asked me a barrage of questions, like how long had we been dating, before the band took a break and she motioned him to come over.

Just as she finished asking him, "Have you been dating this girl?" I walked out and caught a cab home.

Stunned, in complete shock, I felt like someone had kicked me in the stomach. I kept running the conversation with her and all the times I had spent with CM through my mind. He had never hidden me, rather introducing me to all his friends and being openly affectionate in public.

I kept thinking, How could you? How could you be so cruel? Why even say you loved me? And knowing I was coming to the show, why didn't you text me and say you were sick, or not playing that night?

No answers. And I haven't heard from him. Not that I want to. I'm no longer devastated. Just angry. I'm disgusted at his behavior to her, and to me. I'm furious he put me in this situation and told me bald-faced LIES. And I'm mad at myself for believing him.