This & That

I've been a bad blogger lately. Sorry, and thanks if you're still reading!

Couple of snapshots: last weekend I was in Dallas to see my girlfriends and celebrate Lauren's third pregnancy. Instead of a[nother] baby shower, we decided to go to a spa. It was great, but after the spa treatments was even better. We had lunch at my favorite Tex-Mex restaurant and talked and talked. Then we went to Wendy's house and talked and drank some more. It was just so nice to be with these people who I love and enjoy so much. Very restorative.



And spring has finally come to NYC in the last week of April! I snapped this shot at City Hall Park, where I took some of my wintery scenes earlier this year.


Tonight I'm off to meet a new guy...someone I met through Chemistry.com. Full report tomorrow!

A Date or Something

Tonight I had a "date" with a guy that was virtually introduced with me by an old acquaintance of mine in Texas. I say date in quotes because it wasn't an official set-up but more of a casual introduction. I worked with this woman 13-14 years ago (am I really that old?) and we recently got back in touch through LinkedIn. When she heard I was in NYC and still single, she suggested I meet a friend of hers from college who is a lawyer here.

We exchanged a couple of emails and realized we live in the same general area of the city. He suggested we meet tonight at an Italian place in Tribeca with a great bar and restaurant. I dressed nicely, in a brown skirt with brown knee-high boots, and a turquoise top with matching jacket. It's raining cats-and-dogs today, so I put my hair up. I got to the place first and was conversing with the Italian bartender about how different NYC is from either Italy or Texas when he arrived...in jeans and a jacket like those that go with jogging suits. So I was definitely overdressed. Oh well, I wore this to work, too, so it's not like I dressed up especially for this meeting.

We had a nice conversation, and we have enough in common to keep it going through different topics. He made more than one reference to age, and I got the feeling he thinks he's too old for me. But I just got the feeling that he wasn't very interested in me, perhaps because he didn't really look at me when I answered his questions and was easily distracted by whoever just walked in the door. I even saw him check out one girl from head to toe while he was talking to me.

It obviously wasn't a "love connection," but hopefully we can be friends. He's lived here for 9 years and mentioned so many great places and things that I want to check out.

Night out in D.C.

Last week, I was in Washington, D.C. for a conference for work. One evening, I was taken out to dinner by a vendor who wants to partner with us on business. They insisted on "wooing" me, even though I told them I think they have a good product and am already willing to work with them.

There were three guys, two married and one who has a girlfriend, so it wasn't a flirtatious encounter, but as I have mentioned before, I really enjoy male company. One of them kept remarking, though, "I don't understand why you're still single!" And, although on the surface this is flattering, it is usually -- as it was this time -- followed up with something like, "Are you too picky?"

How to respond? I usually explain that I am divorced, TWICE, and if I am "too" picky now, that is a good thing!

Later, he said again, "I just don't understand why you're alone..." and it seemed like he was trying to figure out if there's something seriously wrong with me under the surface! Ha! Well, I may be unique (aren't we all?) but I'm not THAT abnormal.

We had a great dinner -- they ordered Cakebread wine -- and then we went to a little bar and danced to 80's music. I got back to the hotel late after begging to go back (most of them kept on going).

I also really enjoyed the conference. It was my first time "tweeting" on Twitter from a conference, and I'm thrilled that my tweets were well received by the Twitter community. Several of my quotes were re-tweeted, and I gained many followers.

Many Fish in the Sea?

Things are picking up a bit in the dating scene. After being email-interviewed by a journalist in London about online dating, I signed up for free trials on Chemistry.com and eHarmony.com. Both have personality tests created by psychologists which they then use to match you with compatible people. But after going through the steps again, I remember why I don't like eHarmony. They send me way too many profiles to look through, and I dutifully review them and mark the ones I find interesting. Maybe it's just my luck, but whoever I make the first move on always seems to "close" the match. And again, the reason 99% of the guys choose as why they're closing the match is "Other." I NEVER pick "Other." I usually pick "I don't feel the chemistry is there." The profiles also don't seem to have enough information. Most guys write the bare minimum in answer to the questions, and many of the profiles read similarly.

Chemistry.com seems to be doing a little better for me. They give you more information about why they matched you with the person, and the profiles tend to have more copy than just monosyllabic responses. I'm currently emailing with three guys -- two of them have the same name, and that's a bit confusing -- and I'm about to set up a time to meet one of them.

Plus, I got in contact with someone through LinkedIn.com that I haven't seen in over ten years, and she has put me in touch with a guy-friend of hers here in the city. So if it's a numbers game, I'm definitely got more opportunities. Now I just have to keep them all straight and remember what I've said to whom...

And I guess I'm not alone. Apparently, singles turn to online dating to cope with the recession. (Not my reason, but the more, the merrier!)

Is it wrong to sabotage a bad date?

I had my second date with True NYer this week. We met at the Indian food restaurant he has told me about on our first meeting. When he walked over to me, I could smell cigarette smoke. Ew. That reminded me that I thought I had smelled it the first time we met, but since we were in a crowded bar, I couldn't be sure if it was him or someone else close by. Now I knew it was him, and that's a deal-breaker for me.

He seemed strangely nervous. He was sweating a lot at first, but I thought maybe he had hustled to get there. Then I noticed he would look me in the eye when I was talking, but when he spoke, he would look anywhere but my eyes. He also had this strange tic, often leaning his head to one side quickly and blinking hard.

I wanted to be straight-forward and ask him about the smoking, but I couldn't find an appropriate place in the conversation. As the dinner wore on, I could tell this wasn't going to go past this date. So I made a conscious decision to sabotage it, of sorts. I told him a crazy story, that although true, is something I have only shared with people who already know me very well.

It seemed to do the trick. We got in separate cabs without any promises of another date!

Smell & Attraction

I've written before about my strong sense of smell. Today, a study was released that proves women have a stronger sense of smell than men.

Women's noses can penetrate fancy colognes and detect male body odor, but men don't have the same ability, say U.S. researchers. And they speculate that women may be more sensitive to biologically relevant information in sweat that might, in fact, help them select a mate. Read more.

And in another study I read about last year, oral contraception skewed women's hormones and altered the type of male scent women find most attractive. Basically, the contraceptive Pill could also be responsible for skewing their hormones and attracting them to the “wrong” partner.

A study by British scientists suggests that taking the Pill can change a woman’s taste in men — to those who are genetically less compatible. The research found that the Pill can alter the type of male scent that women find most attractive, which may in turn affect the kind of men they choose as partners. Read more.

Third, my mom gave me a heads up to a recent Oprah show that in part talked about how men are more attracted to women who ovulate, which you obviously don't do if you're on the Pill.

Karl Grammer and Elizabeth Oberzaucher are leading the research on the human scent's influence on sexual attraction. They've found that when women are ovulating, they produce copulins, a scent that attracts men. The researchers believe when a man gets a whiff of copulins, his testosterone levels rise. As a result, he secretes androstenone, an odor that repels women who aren't ovulating. Read more.

My conclusion? I may not be attracting the right men, or be attracted to the right men, if I'm on the Pill. Maybe THAT'S why I chose some of the oh-so-obviously wrong men in my past! I realize it's probably more complicated than that, but hormones are powerful forces. And choosing a different form of birth control is a lot easier than months of counselling! (which I've also done.)

Need a Good Headline

Readers, I need your help.

I'm considering trying [again] online dating, and I need a catchy headline. The headline and the picture are what get people to click. Of course, I want to attract the right people, and I don't want anything too risque.

So please vote for your favorite or suggest one:

• Come Away With Me
• Do or Do Not. There is no Try.
• Hope endures
• Hazel-eyed Triathlete Looking for Partner
• Beauty + Brains is more fun

Date with a True NYer

I started getting a little anxious as I left work last night and headed downtown to the bar to meet my date from the matchmaker. But, nothing to do but just charge through that.

I got there just a couple minutes before he did. I didn't know much about him, but from the way he was standing surveying the crowd, I thought it might be him. I approached and after confirming it was him, introduced myself. The bar was very crowded, so we choose a table and ordered a couple drinks.

He's NY-born and bred and has a classic Queens accent. Although he works in the financial field, he has survived his company's layoffs (so far), and since he's more on the accounting side, he's not one of the Wall Street guys that everyone loves to hate right now.

We had a nice talk and seem to have commonalities. After 2 drinks, he suggested we grab something to eat, so we went to a nearby sushi place. The conversation stalled a bit at dinner. I'm not sure if it was because we had run out of things to talk about or because he was still getting over a cold and seemed to be fading. He was very polite and walked me home, giving me a kiss on the cheek.

We've got plans for dinner on Tuesday. So we'll see... There weren't any sparks, but I enjoyed the conversation (more before dinner than during) and I know I can learn more about the city from him.

Blind Date

So I'm meeting match #4 tonight from the matchmaker service. (In case you're wondering what happened to match #3, I never met him. This will make me sound like a snob, but I've learned from past experience that it's important to me that the other person have similar education and goals. After talking to #3 on the phone, I learned he loves his work as an installer of cable boxes and has no aspirations of doing anything more. We spoke several times, and he just seemed too simple and not interesting to me.)

I don't know much about #4: I know he has a shaved head, is 5'8" and that he's in the financial field. We spoke briefly on the phone, and I know he has a nephew and we both like Star Wars.

At least my past experiences have made me not have any expectations for tonight.

Stay tuned for the full report tomorrow...

Some Pictures from the Weekend

Last weekend, I went to Austin for my niece Anna's 8th birthday. I got to see both sisters and all my nieces and nephews, my parents, and later my uncle Tom. It was a nice boost of family time.

Since Anna and her brother Colin have been exposed to the Star Wars movies, it has become a part of their imaginative play and shown up in their artwork. Anna asked for a Star Wars themed party and an R2D2 cake.

My brother-in-law Anthony makes masterpiece cakes. He'll deny it and point out the defects, but every year, he creates a work of art. Plus, they actually taste good -- even the icing! Anthony's uncle Volker from Germany helped put some of the finishing touches on the cake.

















My sister Jenn researches online for theme games each year, and she did a great job of explaining the games to all the kids, even those who hadn't seen the movies. We made simple "Jedi" tunics out of muslin and added a brown sash. Each kid also got a blow-up light saber.




Jenn did Anna's hair like Padme Amidala, and I styled Colin's hair like Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen's version).











It was a fun party. Anna rated the day 10 out of 10, and it was great to see all my nieces and nephews and sisters!