The Human Touch

After reading my friend's blog, ColeBugsMommy, about her recent teaching experience with autistic children rubbing her back or her arm to feel her silky shirt, I thought about how much I miss human contact up here.

It's strange to feel so lonely in a crowd of people. Each morning as I walk up the steps from the subway, I'm part of a throng of people moving in the same direction. But no one looks at each other, let alone smile or talk. It's serious business.

And when I get to the office, I know several people now, and we smile and exchange pleasantries. But of course, there's no touch involved.

There was a study years ago done on rhesus monkeys. (It's horrible to think of now, when we are more sensitive to animal rights, but it proved a point.) Two infant monkeys were placed in separate cages with "surrogate mothers." Both surrogate mothers give food and water to the infant monkeys when they want it, however one mother is made of uncomfortable wire, while the other one is made of soft cloth. The monkey with the soft cloth mother does better than the one with the wire, but neither thrived as much as baby monkeys with their monkey moms.

Other studies have shown that infants who are rarely touched have brains 20% smaller than those who are touched a lot (Scholastic Early Childhood Today). In a Harvard Medical School study of an overcrowded orphanage in Romania, researchers found that babies who lay for hours without physical human contact suffered stunted growth and had abnormal levels of cortisol. I always felt my volunteer work in the neonatal ICU was so important because of this. Even if I was just holding an infant, I knew it had some beneficial effects for them.

Since I was a young girl, I have always been very affectionate. My mother warned me as I started getting into my teen years that I should be careful because boys might take my affectionate nature the "wrong way." Of course, at the time, I didn't understand what she was talking about, but looking back, I see what she meant. :-)

I am thankful that I have a very affectionate cat, Sabrina. She is my snuggle buddy, and "body slams" me when I come home. If I don't sit down upon entering the apartment, she meows at me until I do, so she can sit beside me and purr.

But I miss hugs from friends and family. I love being around my nieces and nephews because of their spontaneous affection. Even sitting on the couch with Colin watching TV, I enjoy feeling him lean into me.