Progress?

Last night, Steve and I met up with my gay boyfriend Daniel and some of his friends at some hip, ritzy bars in Uptown. Both places were full of beautiful people and loud music. I had been to one of the bars before, and I know the manager of security there. I guess I never really paid for my own drinks whenever I've been there, and Steve and I were shocked that our 2 drinks cost $18!

A friend of mine, reflecting on a past relationship, said she almost lost herself and is now getting to know herself again. Oh, I remember how that feels. In each of my three major adult relationships (Mark, Chris and Rod, for those who need reminding), I was so concerned with getting their approval, I didn't take care of myself. I let them take advantage of me and treat me poorly. I constantly felt like I had to earn their love.

Now, I'm entering into this relationship with Steve and balancing that with maintaining my sense of self. And I know now that I deserve to be treated with respect, just as I will treat others with respect. Steve is very easy-going and has been understanding of my push-pull and occasionally bumbling remarks. We each respect our individual time and our private time with our friends. And I think that makes the time we spend together that much sweeter.