In my break-up conversation with FWB, we agreed to be friends. I figured that meant some time of silence, to heal and distance ourselves from what was, before resuming contact.
I got one and a half days of silence.
Since then it's been text messages and emails, comments on Facebook and phone calls. I've responded to some, but it's really bothering me. Of course, they are only friendly. But part of what sucks about this is that he decided not to be in a relationship with me. He said he couldn't give me what I want (time, appreciation). That's a bit of a blow to hear, no matter what. I guess he honestly didn't have any feelings for me other than friendship (anyone remember "he's just not that into you"?), so for him it's no big deal.
10 comments:
You probably know this already but you have to cut him off. Tell him as much. That you need some space. You can't just flick to being friends. Thats just him wanting the best of both worlds. I doubt there's anything malicious in it from his side, he's just been a stupid man. I'm sure its not that he cared either... its just different for guys, he probably misses you and thinks this is acceptable!
The cut off will be worth it.. you need to move on (or dare i say it, make him realise what a fool he's been)
Whether he is a friend or something more, he needs to respect you and treat you well. That is not the case here. I do not know you personally, but have been reading your blog. You deserve so much better! Start believing that!
I agree with the others. When it was time to fish or cut bait, FWB decided to cut bait. Fair enough, but it seems he needs to be told that in order to be friends, you need some time to allow your emotions to transition to a different place. Maybe his resumption of contact is an indication that he all he viewed you as was a friend, but, to be charitable, if his resumption of contact is indication of confusion, let him be confused on his own time.
That sucks! And all your commenters are right - cut it off (I mean contact with him, of course :)
And my code tonight is "dicro" -- how appropriate!
And they say women are complicated!!! He's already admitted that he was selfish and that he wanted to focus on him..... So he's only looking out for himself. Cut the contact, don't reply to his texts/emails and he might finally get the message that he can't mess around with people's feelings like that. You definitely deserve SO much more than that.
The bloke is what we call over here "a complete knob" tell him to sod off and leave you alone, you need time and space. Hugs XX
Cut him off, so you can get yourself straightened out about him.
Guess that's the problem with Friends with Benefits, huh? The benefits stopped, but he still wants the plain friends part.
..Paula took my words,Em. tell him to SOD OFF in plain English..tell him there is already someone ready to jump into his shoes! It's really amazing how many Women go through this sort of (am trying not to swear)sh... errmm rubbish..what do these Men think they are..Gods' gift to Women (old saying) :) Aunty Norma.xx
Thanks for the comments. Several made me laugh out loud.
Verbal comment from a true guy friend last night, "Ex-lovers make better memories than friends."
..hahaha Thank YOU for the interesting story,Emily! You have some people on here who really care about you,,,ain't you lucky? :o)
Aunty Norma.x
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