April Celebrations

Some of my favorite people have birthdays in April. [I STILL think of my niece Anna as an April baby, even after 7 years. She was originally due in April but surprised us all by arriving early at the end of March.] My new friend Kelly -- Jersey Girl -- celebrates her birthday in April, as does my gay boyfriend Daniel, and my old college friend Greg, aka Mr. Aggie, who I only speak to twice a year but think of much more often.

Kelly had a bunch of us join her in a bar crawl in Jersey City on Saturday. It was a great casual and fun get-together. Kelly and I always laugh a lot when we're together, and she seems to attract a lot of really nice people as her friends.

Daniel is coming to visit me this weekend! I can't wait. We've been casually bringing it up since I moved here, and finally, he's on his way. (He likes to sing me that song "Hey there Delilah" substituting my name) There's so much I want to show him, but I think we're going to have to narrow it down or wear ourselves out!

Fashion Style: Who, Me?

One of the things I love about NYC is that every individual style is tolerated and even embraced. (I know there is a high society here somewhere and they probably judge each other on what they wear, but I'm not part of that society, probably never will be, and let's face it, don't really want to be.) In general, I have found NYC is a very accepting city.

As you may know, NYers are known for wearing a lot of black. Not sure why...maybe it's because we walk around the grimy city so much, sit on subways, and are surrounded by so much taxi exhaust? Of course, some venture out a bit from all black, wearing gray, brown or navy, or --ooh! daring! -- khaki.

I was approached on the street one morning by a colleague as we were both walking towards our building from the subway.

"I knew that was you," she said. When I inquired how -- or what she meant by that -- she said it was my bright red, tiered skirt. "You always wear bright colors!"

Looking around, I did seem to be the only one on the busy street with any discernible color.

Several other coworkers have recently commented on it, too. One day I'll be wearing green, another day pink, and people stop by my office to comment on how well I wear color and how "springy" I look.

In Dallas, I never felt like I quite wore the right thing. Never fashionable enough. And here, I'm being heralded for my sense of style! LOL

Friend+

WARNING: As parental units are prone to read this blog, this is your warning: you may not want to read this post. [it mentions SEX]

Some of my friends and family have mentioned my life, read through the blog, sounds like "Sex and the City." I have retorted it's been more like "Celibacy and the City." Besides the distinct lack of dates, I'm much more choosy than in my past, and I just don't feel comfortable picking up some guy at a bar for a one-night stand. So, it's been awhile.

Now, (another disclaimer), I'm in my mid-thirties, and obviously have been married before, so I'm no virgin. And women have needs, too! And this blog is supposed to be about what's it's like living as a thirty-something singleton...So!

I had drinks and dinner last night with a guy I met months ago that works in a building I visit often. We've spoken several times, although just briefly, and always had great conversations. We've tried to get together a couple times for drinks, but our schedules didn't mesh. He's been very candid with me that he's still recovering from a bad relationship and break-up, but I assured him I would appreciate having him as just a friend.

It all went very smoothly. The conversation was easy, and I never felt like he was judging me for what I said or didn't say. We have many similarities, and both have a good sense of humor. He told me a bit more about his last relationship. I told him about some of my past doozies. I'm not sure how we got on the subject of sex, but it was brought up in a very platonic sort of way. I made him laugh with my "Celibacy and the City" comment, and he mentioned it had been a long time for him, too. Then he mentioned how in the past he's had a couple "friends with benefits," and I agreed that sounded like a nice idea. And he raised his eyebrows and intimated he'd be open to exploring that with me. I wasn't sure if he was serious or not, so I kept asking him questions, and, I must admit, stalling a bit, trying to decide if I wanted to do that. I mean, I WANTED to, but I also really value his friendship. (I'm not exactly overwhelmed with friends here, and it's so nice to have someone to eat dinner with and chat.) So we agreed on a few rules, and giddily headed back to my place (closer than his).

It was good, great even. It will be interesting to see if this works. One of the rules is, if either of us starts to have more serious feelings for the other, we will be upfront about it and discontinue the "benefits."

"Bed"

Remember the Sex and the City episode where they go to a club called "Bed?" I went there last night!

It's actually called "Duvet."
At Duvet, couches are passé and instead, large custom beds with room for 8 to recline take their place (“Who’d have thought a slumber party could be so sophisticated?” – New York Moves). Come experience Duvet’s cool glass “Ice Bar”, peer into their 800-gallon custom-made jelly fish aquarium, and even visit the “Water Lounge” – the voyeuristic coed bathrooms where one-way mirrors are strategically placed on the doors to the bathroom stalls...don't worry, only the people in the stalls can look out!

I went for a networking happy hour with my friend Kelly. She did a bit of networking. I was mostly there for the happy hour part and to gawk!

Writer's Block, aka No Dates

As you may have noticed, I haven't had much to write about lately. The stretches between posts seem to be growing.

Yesterday, I caught up with a girl who also moved to the city last fall. She mentioned she's had a couple dates in the last week that were promising, and I asked, how are you meeting all these guys? (Everytime we talk, she mentions a couple more!) She said she's meeting them through eHarmony.

Now, I've tried just about every online dating service, including eHarmony. Granted, I was narrowing my search to the Dallas area. Perhaps the larger pool in NYC would give me more/different/(dare I hope) better results. (The last time I tried it was in 2005.)

Unlike most online dating services where you post a picture and profile and then "shop" through others' profiles to find a potential match, eHarmony arranges connections for you. After a thorough survey, they pair you with others who have similar traits and values.

So, I'm giving it some thought. I think I would need some new pictures of me, but other than a monthly membership fee, what have I got to lose? It can't be as bad as speed dating!

Spring in the City

Everyone keeps telling me that Spring is the best time in New York. (I quite enjoyed Fall and Winter, too, but ok!)

It is nice to have more daylight, and I'm always amazed when I leave work after normal hours that there's still a little sun. I've also been enjoying the blooms. Here are a few pictures I've taken in my wanderings.

Down Home Time

I was given the opportunity by my company to attend a management training conference in Dallas. It was held at the Gaylord Resort in Grapevine, a fabulous complex with a magnificent atrium.






While they kept me very busy with the conference and I was also stretched to keep up with project work back at the office, I did get to see some of my dearest friends. Daniel (my gay boyfriend!) came out to the resort for a drink and visit. And the next night, I was able to see my girlfriends at my favorite Tex-Mex restaurant, Mi Cocina.



After dinner, I went by the hospital where I used to volunteer. I had called ahead and learned the nurse I worked with, Lily, was working that night. She was completely surprised to see me! It was great. She let me hold two preemies and feed them. I stayed for a couple hours, loving on these little ones and visiting with Lily.

I went back to the hotel exhausted but with a full heart. It was great touching base with these people I love so dearly.

Art After Dark

Friday night I had a date with one of the guys I met at Speed Dating. He invited me to join him at the Guggenheim Museum for First Fridays, where you can jam to loud music spun by a DJ as you enjoy the art in the incredible building designed by Frank Lloyd Wright. The exhibition currently on display is one by Cai Guo-Qiang, a Chinese artist known for his "creative transgressions and cultural provocations."

It was interesting.

Traffic was congested, as usual, so I text-messaged that I would be 10 minutes late. No matter, the line to get in was around the building and down the block. When I found my date, he introduced me to his friend from work who was there and mentioned another friend was joining us. I was surprised, as I didn't realize our plan was for a group event.

We waited in line for 90 minutes before we were allowed in. No kidding. At least the weather was nice, but it was time filled with awkward conversation and many silences. Weird, to say the least.

Once inside, despite the ear-splitting music, both the exhibition and the people-watching was very entertaining. But I felt out of place. I'm not into music that loud -- oh, and did I mention my date was checking out every girl in sight? I felt strangely too old for this scene. Although there were others my age or older, the majority of the crowd seemed in their twenties. Besides, it was late and the end of a long and busy week for me. (By the time we got into the museum, it was 11:30 p.m. The event goes until 1 a.m.)

I'm glad I went and experienced something new. But I doubt I'll go again.

Need Your Input for a Snappy Response

Two of my doctors -- or pseudo-doctors, a chiropractor and a dentist -- have the same annoying habit. I guess they are trying to be flattering, but it leaves me without anything good to say. I thought I'd open it up to the general readership for ideas.

I saw my dentist today, and he says, "So how come no one has snatched you up yet?"
My chiropractor had a similar [stupid] question, "I can't believe you're not married. You don't even have a boyfriend? How can you not have a boyfriend?"

It's so frustrating! So please, readers of the blog, (obviously intelligent people with good taste), got any ideas for a smart ass remark to put these guys in their place and let them know how insensitive their questions are?

Dining Solo

I'm sitting at a bar at an Italian restaurant not too far from Union Square (trying a new place). The bar is crowded with groups. I'm the only solo patron.

I'm enjoying a fabulous glass of Italian wine, and the bartender, after taking my dinner order, asks me, "So how come you're lonely tonight?"

I replied, "I'm alone, but who says I'm lonely?"

"Touche." He replied, and clinked his glass to mine.

Turning Seven

This past weekend, my niece Anna -- my first niece -- turned seven years old. She especially invited me to her party, which turned out to be a whole weekend of celebrating, and told me it was very important to her that I be there. I haven't missed a single one of her birthdays yet (something I unfortunately can't claim for the other four nieces and nephews), and I've been looking forward to it.




I still remember the day her mom, my beloved older sister, called to tell me it was time. It was so exciting, more so because she arrived 2-3 weeks earlier than expected! She was absolutely gorgeous from the moment we laid eyes on her. Even one of the doctors asked if she had been born by Cesarean section (her head did not have that squished, just-born look).

She has grown into a young girl with a vivid imagination, a curious nature and a compassionate heart. She is a delightful little person to be around.

In addition to her party, I was able to watch her rehearsal for her upcoming ballet examination and celebrate in style at a local Greek restaurant. The ballet exam that is coming up is very serious business, and these small girls have had to memorize each position of hands and feet and what to do at the brief announcement from the judge. It was very impressive and entertaining to watch.

The Greek restaurant was a blast! This is a neighborhood place that my sister and her family frequent, and the owner knows Anna well. There was also a belly dancer that evening, and Anna did an impromptu dance with her! I could see the ballet influence in her movements, and her face just lit up with the excitement of the spontaneous performance. At the end of the meal, the owner told Anna that in Greece, they celebrate momentous occasions by breaking a plate and asked if she'd like to break one. Her eyes got huge as she said Yes with amazement that she would be purposefully doing something that would be considered unthinkable at home. We all yelled "Opa!" as they threw the plate down together. Much giggling ensued.

It was a terrific weekend, and I realized I had as much or more fun than I do on some of my own birthdays!