Everyone says it, but it's still true: it's hard to meet nice, eligible people to date. I've heard Dallas isn't a great city for meeting other singles, but then you hear that said about other cities, too.
I should have a dollar for every time I've heard the advice to meet someone at church. (This usually comes from smug, married people) I've been involved in a couple different churches in the area, and the other singles I've met at church-sponsored single events are usually 10-15 years older than me, divorced with kids who are probably going to be old enough to be babysitters for my unborn children. Yes, I'm divorced, too, so you may think I shouldn't be that picky. But there is a big difference in life stage between those who have kids in junior high and those of us that were unfortunate in our first (or second...or both) choice of a mate.
So, where do you turn? Dating services. Several years ago, I tried Great Expectations. Let's just summarize my experience by saying I agree with Saturday Night Live that it should be renamed "Lowered Expectations."
I also tried Match.com a few years ago. It's like shopping for a date. You can read profiles of other shoppers and send them a message through Match that you're interested. I never heard back from any of the men I sent a message to. And the guys that messaged me were so far off my "what I'm looking for" I couldn't figure if they were just wishfully thinking or really out-of-touch with reality.
The latest service to join the internet dating scene is eHarmony. Their service is a bit different -- instead of you choosing who you're interested in, they choose for you, based on an in-depth personality profile. They match you with others who have similar values and preferences, and each party is sent an email letting you know you have a new match. If you like their profile, the first step is to send each other 3 closed-ended (multiple choice) questions that you can select from their list. The second step is to send each other your Must Haves/Can't Stand lists, 10 things in each category that you have identified as your personal deal breakers. Third step is open-ended, or essay, questions. If you make it through all that, you can email through their site. So, at this point, neither person has the other's real email address or any other identifiable information. Either person can choose to close the match at any time, and you can select from a list of reasons such as "I'm just too busy to date right now," "I want to pursue other matches," or "I'd rather not say." And if all goes well, you can exchange phone numbers or set up a face-to-face meeting.
I've been subscribed to eHarmony for five months, and I've met four guys. I've been matched with many more, but some I knew weren't a good fit for me, others closed the match for their personal reasons, and some you go through the steps with and nothing clicks.
The first guy I met was very nice, and although I didn't feel any chemistry, he was attractive and I would have gone out with him again. But he emailed and said he was going to pursue a relationship with another girl he met. When I met the second guy, I instantly knew 1) there was no chemistry, and 2) there never would be. The third guy was so into himself, he actually asked me a question twice during our lunch meeting and then said "I guess I'm not listening very well, am I?" I just replied, "I don't know. Are you?" He also tried to impress me with the 2-inch wad of cash in his wallet. Who carries that much cash around in today's plastic society? A pimp or drug dealer, maybe? I thought it hilarious that he closed the match, stating "Our values are just too different." I guess I didn't respect the money enough.
So on to number four...my subscription was actually set to expire, and they send me his profile. Cute, witty, intelligent...I had to renew. We met this past weekend after talking on the phone a couple times. He had mentioned during one of our calls that he'd love to participate in an amateur night at a comedy club someday, but I wasn't prepared for how much my abs would hurt after laughing so hard.
We talked about how our parents had met. He told me his parents met in a Tall Club. A WHAT? I asked if that was during college? No, it's a community club. He said his mom is 5'10" and his dad 6'4" (he's 6'3"). I assume I've never heard of it because being only 5'6", I wouldn't be allowed in. He's originally from Connecticut, and told me when he moved down here, he decided to join the local Tall Club, surmising that it worked well for his parents, so why not? He cracked me up telling me how it went,"You know what I realized? Tall people don't have anything in common." Lucky for me it didn't work out!
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