Need Your Input for a Snappy Response

Two of my doctors -- or pseudo-doctors, a chiropractor and a dentist -- have the same annoying habit. I guess they are trying to be flattering, but it leaves me without anything good to say. I thought I'd open it up to the general readership for ideas.

I saw my dentist today, and he says, "So how come no one has snatched you up yet?"
My chiropractor had a similar [stupid] question, "I can't believe you're not married. You don't even have a boyfriend? How can you not have a boyfriend?"

It's so frustrating! So please, readers of the blog, (obviously intelligent people with good taste), got any ideas for a smart ass remark to put these guys in their place and let them know how insensitive their questions are?

Dining Solo

I'm sitting at a bar at an Italian restaurant not too far from Union Square (trying a new place). The bar is crowded with groups. I'm the only solo patron.

I'm enjoying a fabulous glass of Italian wine, and the bartender, after taking my dinner order, asks me, "So how come you're lonely tonight?"

I replied, "I'm alone, but who says I'm lonely?"

"Touche." He replied, and clinked his glass to mine.

Getting the Last Laugh

Oh, sweet victory.

Remember the guy who said he had a problem with the fact that I'd been married before, even though he knew that before we went on 3 dates? (See Leave the Past in the Past) Well, he just called!

"Remember me?"

Why, yes, I do.

"Well, we haven't spoken in awhile, but I wanted to call and see how you were doing."

I'm doing really well. In fact, I recently started dating this GREAT guy...

"Oh. Gee, that's great. Well, if things change, give me a call."

Ha! You wish!

(Actually, I think I said something, like: well, thanks for calling!)