the Natural Museum of History 

the Natural Museum of History 

How other species do it

Some other species have really got the whole thing figured out. No man around? Just a group of great gals? Have one of them morph into a man!

Sounds strange, but this is actually what happens in a surprising number of reef fish. (I learned this during my visit to the Natural History Museum in NYC.)

If you can't read the caption on the photo below, (because of my flash, but otherwise it was too dark), it explains how Spotlight Parrotfish are born as females and can later become males. They live in groups with several females and one male. I like the way they put it "Several females share one male for breeding." If the male dies, the largest female changes into a male!

This sign also mentions the Golden Hamlet, which has both sexes in one.

Why I love the single life

I had a great weekend at my sister's house, visiting with her, my brother-in-law and the twins Paige and Graham, who are 21 months old. But the great thing about being an aunt is that you get to have fun without the responsibility! At times, I really envy what my sisters have, but other times, I'm so glad I get to return to my quiet single life.

Paige had diarrhea on Saturday, and it leaked out of her diaper while she was sitting on my lap. I had poop juice on my shirt. I tried to remain calm, but inside I was freaking out.

This morning, sweet Paigie climbed up into my lap again to sample my breakfast, (the first time she reached for me). She helped herself to my toast, which she promptly choked on, and I somehow managed to catch the bolus of food as it was coming back out. This is in spite of the fact that I had been pretty grossed out the night before watching my sister catch Paige's vomit in her cupped hand. (And then she analyzed it! She even asked me what I thought the white clumps might be. We determined it was probably curdled milk. Ick.)

Graham was also throwing up with the assistance of Mireya, the nanny. She was leaning him over the kitchen sink. Then he'd happily turn around ask request "Mo" of the toast he'd been eating. He did this at least three times. Eat, barf, eat, barf, eat, barf. As gross as it was, I was impressed he wasn't turned off from eating!

I did get lots of sweet moments with them, though. Sweet hugs and kisses, reading books with a little one on my lap, and lots of giggles. I guess that's what makes it all worth it.

Twins in their Easter finery 

Navigating the Subway

I guess I was getting a little too confident about my abilities to use the subway.

Despite the fact that I was able to correctly direct three people who approached me for directions, I got on the wrong train -- an express rather than the local. The express trains don't stop at every stop.

I'm sitting there enjoying the rhythmic rocking and realize that it's been longer than usual since the last stop. Then I notice we zoom through two stations. My hotel is at 57th, but I got a recommendation to go to a cool bar at 81st. I look as we speed past 86th, 103, 116...

We finally stopped at 125. I noticed that I was probably the only white face in the car. 125 is the stop for Harlem.

I casually get off the train and walk around to the other side, trying to look like I know what I'm doing. By this time, I decided just to go back to my hotel. It was a lovely evening riding the subway. Great way to spend my last night in NYC!

A Compliment and a Prediction

For Saturday night in NYC, I went to Little Italy for some authentic Italian food. As in most restaurants here in the city, if you're alone, you have to eat at the bar. But I couldn't believe my luck: the only other person eating at the bar was this stop-traffic-gorgeous guy, Ryan, who was in town for business from California. He invited me to join him next door where he was having a drink with his friends.

It turned out to be a sports bar, and Saturday night featured several March Madness basketball games. Ryan explained to me who he was rooting for, and I was happy to watch. But he kept talking and flirting with this blonde girl at the bar who was for the opposing team. I finally told him that I don't play second fiddle and that if he wanted to be with her, I'd get lost. He looked surprised, and a part of me was a bit surprised, too. I don't usually stick up for myself, but it felt very empowering. He stammered something about how it was just about the game and that he'd been talking to her before dinner.

I ended up sitting at the bar with his friends -- actually his boss (who was completely bombed) and his boss's friend. They were both in their mid-50s, and the local, their host, teaches international business at NYU. He was very interesting and we had a good conversation. He told me he thought Ryan had made the wrong choice and remarked to his friend that I had a classically beautiful face. I was embarrassed and flattered and just laughed and thanked him. He also said I was obviously confident, and he thought I'd get everything I deserved out of life.

I hope so!

Friday night in the Big City

I got recommendations from a coworker about a bar not far from my hotel, Hudson's. It was a cool scene. The bar is on the second floor of the building with a floor made from frosted glass tiles. The light from the first floor shines through to give the entire room a warm glow. I sat at the bar with a glass of wine, but it wasn't long before someone sat beside me. I could tell from his order that he was English. Mark explained he was in town on business and invited me to join him and his friend for dinner at a Greek restaurant. The food was delicious (and free!).

Then we went dancing to meet his friend's girlfriend. The bar was small but fun, and I had a great time until Mark started ignoring me. I'm not sure, but I think it might have been because I danced with another guy. It was innocent -- we were standing at the edge of the dance floor anyway, and at one point, Mark stopped dancing when I wanted to keep going, so I just danced with the guy that was next to us. I didn't get close or anything, but when I came back from the bathroom, Mark just kept his back turned to me. I was tired anyway, so I left without saying goodbye. I felt good about it, because in the past I haven't always looked out for myself.

What NOT to Say

I'm in NYC for a week with my job, and last night I attended a local St. Patrick's Day happy hour. St. Patty's day is very well celebrated here in New York, and the bar we went to was absolutely PACKED! Lots of cute guys, too...

One guy was smiling in my direction, so I introduced myself. He said, "My name's Eric." To which I honestly blurted out, "Oh! That's my dad's name!" He kinda smiled and said something about "who's your daddy," then chuckled and got lost in the crowd.

Guess that's not the best way to start a conversation...

Oh well. More practice needed.

Too Picky?

On Sunday, I saw an interview of George Lucas. He has been single for many years and has three adopted children, the oldest two of whom are in their twenties.

The interviewer asked him if the reason he didn't have "someone special" in his life might be due to the fact that he is too picky. He replied that many of his married friends tell him the same thing and that maybe if he wasn't so picky he could find someone. He made the statement that it's not about being with someone, it's about finding the right one.

This is so true!

I have heard the comment from friends, acquaintances and coworkers that maybe I'm too picky. I usually tell these unaware people that if they knew my history, they would know that I tend not to be picky enough! (Two marriages and two quick divorces kind of explain that.)

Funny, I never hear this comment from my family.

Karma?

So late last week, I wrote a "dear John" email to the bad date guy. I struggled with what to say. I wanted to tell him the truth, but I thought he might want to argue about that or try to convince me to give him another chance. I settled for saying I was seeing someone else (referring to Tall Club guy) and that I didn't feel comfortable seeing two people at the same time.

Then this week, several days had passed with no phone call from Tall Club. Unusual, but I was trying to keep my paranoia at bay. He finally called Wednesday night and started telling me about this WONDERFUL girl he's also met through eHarmony. Uh oh...

Then he said he's just not comfortable seeing two people at the same time.

And he gave me the "I hope we can still be friends." Ugh.

Guess it was my turn.

How bad does it have to be to be classified a "bad date?"

Have you ever had a date that was going so badly, you had a friend call and make up an emergency for an excuse to end it?

I had a second (and last) date with a guy last Saturday. Our first date went pretty well, but I was nervous and drank a little too much. As we all know, that lowers your inhibitions. It also makes it easier to put up with personality quirks that normally would bother you. So for this date, I was very careful about my alcohol consumption.

Did he talk this much about himself, nonstop, on the first date? Or did I not notice?

It started off badly. We had agreed to meet at a shopping area that has several restaurants and a theater for dinner and a movie. I really wanted to see the Aviator, but he replied "No, I don't want to see that." Ok...we had a difficult time finding a movie neither one of us had seen and that he would agree to see. So we decided to start with dinner.

There are at least three restaurants in this center, and two of them have lots of healthy choices. I was hoping to be consulted on where to eat, but he just told me we'd be eating at the third (least healthy) restaurant.

At dinner, he went on and on about himself, his job, his views on religion. We had talked about religion on our first date. He works for a Christian company, so we had discussed briefly that we are both Christians. He knew I attend church most Sundays. So I was shocked when he announced, "I really don't believe in God unless I need something" and gave me an example of a time when he was in a dangerous situation and thought "God, help me out of this."

Are you kidding me?!? That's the ONLY time you BELIEVE in God? I have a problem with this...

When he went to the bathroom, I text-messaged my goddaughter, Annie, who is 17 and was at the Mavericks' game with a girlfriend. She offered to call and say her car wouldn't start, leaving her stranded. It sounded better than spending another couple hours with this guy...

He showed his true colors when Annie called and I told him I'd have to go.
"Can't she get a cab?"
She's 17...downtown (not a great area)
"I've been to Mavericks' games, and they're expensive. I can't believe she doesn't have enough money for a cab."
She didn't buy the tickets! Her dad gets them and didn't want to go tonight.

One of my friends said at least bad dates give you a good story. I've got lots of stories...

Carpe Diem

Yesterday, I went to the travelling exhibit Eyes Wide Open, honoring the casualties from the Iraqi War. Each soldier who has died is represented by a pair of combat boots with their name, hometown and age. So many were so young...19, 20. I think about all the life I have lived since I was 19, and I feel so grateful. But I also feel so sad for these servicemen and their families.

Today I learned that a coworker from our NY office and dear friend of mine, John, has been admitted to the hospital and is having abdominal surgery. He's only 42 and has a wife and 4 kids, the youngest around 2 years old. I pray for a speedy, full recovery for him.