I've been neglecting my blog. If you're still here, I apologize.
I had dinner recently with the partner of my voice teacher, who passed away in November. I always enjoyed talking with my teacher's partner, and it was good to see him again. We reminisced a lot, but we talked about other things as well.
He told me they were together for 27 years. Wow. He said someone asked him what was it that they had that made it work. That's the question, isn't it? He wasn't sure what the "special sauce" was.
I think it's a combination of chemistry, common values and commitment. There has to be something that draws two people together initially (chemistry), but there also needs to be common values to have a shared purpose. And to get through the rough times, which we all know will happen, there has to be a commitment on both sides. Agree? Disagree? What do you think it is that makes a successful couple?
7 comments:
Hi,Em. Well I don't know what your friends 'special sauce' was but having been married to the same man for nearly 56 years I think I can put my four pennyworth in :)
I agree with the 'rough times'..and having the 'same purpose in life'..but mainly I think it's how we are brought up (our childhood)I had a Godmother A.Ethel who put ME on the right road to Christianity..but then again I found a good Man so I was fortunate..Odd times though I have wondered what my life would have been like if I had taken that trip 60 years ago to America to emigrate with your Aunty Rene..then I would have been surrounded by the other half of my Family' :). Ah, well it's all mapped out for us so we have to get on with it,huh? :) xxx
A.Norma.
I got married very young (21) and have been married to my 'soul mate' for 30 years. Neither one of us can imagine life without the other. I sometimes wonder how and why I got so lucky against the odds. We definitely have chemistry, shared values, and completely support each other no matter what. I think, however, that the biggest thing that keeps us together is a humorous outlook. We make each other laugh...and what is life without that?
Good post Em
I totally agree you must have chemistry and common values and humor. I also think commitment is key - to eachother and to the relationship. I think a lot of people are committed to eachother when times are good, but it is that commitment to the relationship (institution of marriage or whatever the situation may be)that sometimes keeps us on track during the hard times. I think a lot of people of our generation lack that commitment to the relationship piece - if they get to a point where they can't stand the other person, they leave. If you are deeply committed to the relationship, you hang in there, work through it, and come out on the other side. The key is that BOTH parties are committed to eachother and to the relationship - if just one is, it doesn't always work out as well :-)
A. Norma - WOW to 56 years. That's just amazing to me. Give my love to Uncle Noel.
Anonymous #1 - I'm so envious that you found your "soul mate." Marrying young for me didn't work out so well, but I picked the wrong person. And I totally agree that humor is key!
Grandad - Thanks. :-)
Anonymous #2 - Very true. Commitment is essential on both sides.
I read you blog often, and have never posted, but wanted to know if you have read "The Road Less Traveled" by M.Scott Peck. I am just reading it now- a bit here and there as some of it takes a few days to think over. It is really worth checking out.
Going back into lurkdom.
Uncle Noel says 'Hi' back,Emily :)
I don't know what's happened to my first posting on this thread..must have got lost in Cyberspace.
A.Norma.x
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