It's been awhile without a post. There haven't been any dates to report on, and contrary to my anonymous commenter in the previous post, I sure haven't seen a line of men vying for the opportunity to spend time with me. (But if that commenter has any friends...let me know!)
About the only dating I'm doing is going out with Friend-With-Benefits (FWB), but they're not "Date" dates. We've become very good friends, talking on the phone just about every day for a few minutes at least, and I always enjoy his company. But FWB says he's still not ready to date (still dealing with personal crap after his last devastating relationship and break-up). It's the whole "it's not you, it's me" argument. I vacillate between being annoyed at this and not really caring. Part of me feels like we're basically already dating, so why not call it that. I don't think anything would really change. But the other part of me worries that things might change, that actually calling it "dating" might make both of us take it more seriously, and I'm not sure whatever-this-is would last.
So I'm trying to just enjoy the moment, as they say. We've gone out a couple times to nice restaurants, hung out at a bar for a football game, and tonight we're seeing a comedian. Funny, though...when we have these non-date-dates, we don't have sex. What's with that?!
8 comments:
you sure you two didn't skip dating and move straight to married life? LOL. sorry, I'm sure I'm not as crass this.
Are you 100% sure he's not already married? Have you been to his place? I can completely understand why you are torn with the state of this relationship. On the one hand, I would wonder why he likes to spend time with me and be intimate, but doesn't consider me 'date-able'. On the other hand, if you're happy with the status quo and don't care about relationship labels, what does it matter? I know which way I would go with this one, but you're the only one whose opinion matters.
You're dating, you might as well accept it, even if he won't. I'll grant you it's not your typical relationship, but what's typical these days anyhow?
Steph, aka edamamemommy -- Ha ha! Hadn't thought of that.
anonymous -- yes, I've been to his place and I know for sure he's single. He's got some personal things he's working through, and I respect that.
ligad -- good point!
If you don't feel used, and you are getting everything you want and need out of the relationship right now, then it's the perfect situation for you.
I guess the difference between FWB and dating is one's intentions. Do you get to initiate things? Does he set all the groundrules? In the end, like most things, you try to see things clearly, decide what you can live with and what is a deal breaker and act accordingly. For now it appears that like Mercutio's wound, "tis enough, twill serve", but one wonders for how long.
This is off-topic, but I just wanted to thank you. Remember the little spatula you gave me before I moved (and before you moved)? It totally saved my butt last night. I had made a huge pan of peanut butter & chocolate candy bars for the teachers at our school, and that spatula was the only tool in my arsenal which could lift them out the pan without tearing them up. So, THANKS!!
Anonymous (#2) - No, I'm not feeling used.
jman - Initiation and ground rules are shared. As to "tis enough" for now, my thoughts exactly.
peevish - you're welcome! I love those Pampered Chef products.
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