Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Leave the past in the past

Well, I couldn't stand not knowing. I called Chris on Friday. He said he had had a really busy week and that was 75% of the reason he hadn't called -- the other 25% being that he still wasn't sure about whether he could accept the fact that I've been married before. Ok, so at least I knew. But then he asked me out for Saturday night.

We saw a movie (War of the Worlds -- very action-packed and suspenseful), and afterwards, I left feeling very down. I was feeling similar to how I felt often during my relationship with Rod, that I had to prove that I was worthy of his love and attention. It's a rotten feeling. It's like Chris has already judged me based on a past mistake, but he doesn't even really know me. I don't need that. I've struggled with my "status" enough and tried to forgive myself for making a bad decision (or two).

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Em -- you're right; you don't need someone who makes you feel like you have to prove yourself worthy of his attention! Life is hard enough. He should recognize you for the wonderful, caring, intelligent person you are, regardless of past history. If not, the HE is not worthy of your attention. Besides, let he who is without sin cast the first stone -- I'm betting he's not in any place to judge. :-) LL