We have new verbs in our vocabulary now, thanks to the Internet and social media. I'm fully immersed in these with my job, in part, helping clients figure out how to leverage social media. We "Google" people, places and things. If email or phone doesn't work, we can "Facebook" someone. And within that social network, we can "Fan" and "Friend" someone.
I've even had the experience of Un-Friending and Blocking someone on Facebook. Sometimes, like recently, I wish it was as easy to Un-Friend someone in person.
I know a guy going through a rough patch. I also know he likes me as more than a friend. He is currently in a relationship with a girl, but it's not going well. He likes to ask me for advice, but lately, I feel like he's also setting up his next move to ask me to be the next girlfriend. I'm NOT interested. AT ALL. He's not my type by any means, and I find him to be too self-absorbed and arrogant. And while he's decent enough looking, I don't find him attractive.
Lately, he's been asking me for more time and attention (pestering me). He calls, texts me, and asks me for time to meet in person, presumably to talk about his issues with his girlfriend. I've tried to be a good friend and have answered the phone, exchanged texts, and gone to lunch with him on several occasions. But I'm reaching the end of my limit.
When we walk down the street, he constantly leans into me, and my natural inclination is to move sideways. In this manner, we can diagonally cross an extra-wide sidewalk in one short block! He's also very touchy-feely, and I'm just getting to the point where I want to put about a mile in between us. I've never given him ANY encouragement that his feelings are returned. I've tried to be a good friend because I know he's going through a lot and we share a religious community.
But sometimes, I'm too nice for my own good. I know this, in theory, but I have a hard time setting boundaries with people. In the book "Eat. Love. Pray" by Elizabeth Gilbert, she describes herself:
" I have boundary issue with men. Or maybe that's not fair to say. To have issues with boundaries, one must HAVE boundaries in the first place, right?"
I can totally relate.
3 comments:
you are very posty lately. I love you and I am reading. I just don't have anything witty to say. You are clever, and you know better than I do how to navigate these waters. And sidewalks.
EdamameMommy: :-) Love you too!
What am I chopped liver? You know it is ok to say no on occasion or even as many occasions as is necessary. No doubt if you were to say something about how the guy made you feel you would be given the "you are insane" treatment instead of acknowledging your feelings and apologizing if he did anything to make you feel that way even if you were totally wrong. The self absorbed are always about themselves or to put it another way "enough of me talking about me. why don't you talk about me for a while."
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