And Finally, Part Two

Sorry for the delay. When I wrote the "AHA moment," I was expecting to write the second part within a couple days. Then, this powerful, nasty cold virus knocked me on my a$$.

So, recognizing the Drama Triangle and the role you are playing is half the key.

The other half is changing how you react.

The opposite of Victim is Creator.

Instead of focusing on problems, which is how a Victim views the world, a Creator focuses on their long-term Vision or Outcome. They actively take baby steps towards making that vision a reality. They take full responsibility for themselves and their actions.

There are two other roles in the Creator Orientation, too: Challenger and Coach.

Again, a Challenger can be a person, situation or circumstance. Challengers may also be constructive or deconstructive. In the deconstructive state, they help you take apart a situation to learn from it. You may learn how you don't want to be. (This could be a Persecutor viewed in a different light.) In the constructive state, Challengers invite you to be your best, helping you to improve or develop. Challengers elicit a response, rather than Persecutors who provoke a reaction.

A Coach sees themselves as a Creator and views others similarly. They help facilitate progress by asking questions (not providing answers as a Rescuer would do).

To help remember the differences between the Victim and Creator Orientations, remember the acronym AIR:

Attention – Are you focused on a problem or your long-term vision?

Intention – Is your intention to get rid of (or get away from) your problems? Or is your intention to bring into being the outcomes you envision?

Results – In the Victim orientation, the results are temporary and reactive. In the Creator orientation, the results are much more likely to be satisfying and sustainable.

Good luck creating the life you want!