A True Gem

My beloved great aunt Sudie Pearl died last week. She was 95 and leaves behind many nieces and nephews, great nieces and great nephews, and even great-great little ones. She was universally loved and respected by all, and although she didn't have children of her own, she was regarded by many as the matriarch figure of our family.

Sudie was born to Baptist missionaries, and spent her childhood in Brazil, where she learned how to speak Spanish and Portugese, as well as how to climb a tree and sleep in a hammock. Unfortunately, hers was not an easy life, and there were times in her childhood where her parents were told she wasn't expected to live. (Obviously, she defied those predictions.)

For most of her working career, she was a professor of Spanish at university. Many of her students later returned to tell her how much she meant to them, and Sudie was always so modest and gracious, never one to laud her accomplishments.

To me, she was an example of what I want to be, in so many ways. She had severe scoliosis, curvature of the spine, which caused a physical deformity most noticeable in her shoulders. I have slight scoliosis and know the near-constant pain that accompanies it. I can only imagine her pain was even greater, but she never complained. She always had a radiant smile and bestowed all her attention on the people around her.

She was a Christian, which she showed through her gracious actions and loving demeanor rather than showy words or condemnation of others.

She was fiscally responsible and generous, providing me and my sisters with incredible gifts and support, especially through our college years.

But mostly, she was full of love and freely gave it to us.

Sudie and I had so many talks over the years, and she often urged me to have kids. I know she was regretful that she didn't, having married late in life. She told me, "Don't wait." But I explained I wasn't consciously waiting, and that she had shown me how wonderful an aunt could be.

And although she didn't have children of her own to name, she did name me. My parents didn't give any of us girls middle names, assuming we would take our maiden name as our middle name once we married. When I was divorcing [the first time] and reviewing the legal documents the lawyer had drafted, I got to the part about legally changing my name back to my maiden name. Abruptly, I asked if I could add a middle name. He thought it was an odd request but confirmed I could. "What name would you choose?"

I knew immediately. Sudie always called me "Emily Jane," after my mom "Beverly Jane" because I reminded her in many ways of my mom.

Without hestitation I told the lawyer "Jane." And I couldn't wait to show my new license, with my new full name, to Sudie. I told her she named me, and I always carry that with me.

I am so grateful to have had her in my life, and I know I was blessed in countless ways to have had Sudie Pearl as my great aunt.