Monday, October 11, 2010

My Absence from the Blogosphere Explained

So...I haven't been much of a blogger lately. Partially, that's because I've been too busy and too exhausted to post. But I've also been rethinking the blog.

I recently read the book The Secret. It's hardly new, so you may be familiar with the concept. It's based on the law of attraction, and that we attract to us what we focus on. So if you focus on lack, you get more of that. If you focus on abundance, you get more of that. And the trick is to think about the things you want as if you already have them -- from a place of gratitude.

There's a chapter in the book that talks about relationships and relays the story about a woman who really felt ready for a relationship in her life. And when she read The Secret, she realized she literally didn't have ROOM in her life for a relationship -- all her closets were overfull! So she cleaned them out, and...

As I was reading that, I thought -- initially -- well, that's not me! In my new apartment, I have more than enough closet space and several that aren't full.

And then the chapter went on to say, "when you want to attract something into your life, make sure your actions don't contradict your desires." It hit me like a ton of bricks. My blog is/was -- I changed it that night -- "life of a thirty-something singleton." I am literally defining myself as a singleton! And, although I've had fun, this is not want I ultimately want.

Which leaves me wondering...what to do? I know my blog hasn't been super interesting of late to those who were hoping for disastrous-but-entertaining dating stories. I've mostly been healing my latest broken heart with niece & nephew time. But I'm not sure I want to return to disastrous-but-entertaining. I want so much more than that. I'm READY for so much more than that. And so, I'm debating about what to do with the blog. Do I just redesign/rename/refocus? Or do I start new somewhere else?

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

As I began to read this post, I have to admit that selfishly my first thought was, 'Oh no! Don't leave us!' But of course you should do what feels right for you.
Also, please know that I (and surely most of your readers) do not stop by for entertaining but disastrous dating stories. I just love the way you write, your perspective, your adventures, and your everyday life. Everything you write is entertaining. I love it when you have successful dating stories. It hurts my heart when you have disastrous dating stories. I feel sure that the blogosphere is rooting for you and pictures you with a happy ending--because that is clearly what you deserve.
N.

Emily said...

Thanks, N! :-)

Small Town Girl said...

Hey Em... Good Luck honey !!
I am in a similar boat as yours so any thing good with you makes me feel motivated but any thing bad, makes me hurt.....

You shall do well, very well.... God can not be that bad.....
So, good luck....
If you make a new blog, pls keep me updated.... I feel good .. and feel more motivated with you.....

Emily said...

Small Town Girl, thanks for your support! I haven't decided what I'm going to do yet, but I'll let you know.

paula said...

Em, I love your blog and would certainly miss it - but I understand that you have to do what is right for YOU! XXXX

Anonymous said...

I've been checking in on your blog for a couple of years now. Its funny, I never thought of it as "disasterous but entertaining" dating stories. Its much more interesting as a vunerable and often funny woman finding her place in the world. I've found your writing much better when you've given deep but honest accounts of yourself. When you posted about weaning yourself off anti-depressants, I really admired that. And some of the self reflecting you've done at times. Putting yourself out there like that is what endeared me to your blog and your writing.

Just thought I'd let you know. I hope you can find a way to keep it going. Cheers to you, Em!

Vetmommy said...

Oooh, good introspection! I don't have any answers but that is interesting thinking.

jman said...

I was beginning to think that your blog was dying because it was beginning to resemble a family photo album with little that those who didn't already know the cast in real life could relate to. There was the cryptic comment about blog stalkers so I wondered whether the subsequent entries were in response to whatever was going on with them. I enjoy reading most of the things you write about (even Abraham Lincoln knew you couldn't please all the readers all the time :)) so hope you will continue, but maybe the blog has run its course. Only you, of course, can decide that. Until then, here's hoping that the wind fills your sails anew and that it is a fair wind at that.

PS - There was a review in a recent New Yorker about the most recent book written by the woman who wrote The Secret and in it the reviewer discusses the back story to The Secret as well. If you can't find a link to the article let me know and I will scan it and send it to you.

Emily said...

Paula: I would start another one if I end this one, and I'll let you know! xoxo

Anonymous: Thank you for your thoughtful response, and for your continued reading! I like the idea of "finding my way in the world." Hm...

Vetmommy/Jenn: Thanks!

jman: I knew my posting lately hadn't been interesting to you since you hadn't commented. :-) I'll look up that article. Thanks for the tip.

Anonymous said...

Like 'N' I too would miss your posts,Emily, but I only wish the best for you and you know that :) your posts are always interesting and I think it's because you are so honest and not afraid of revealing your feelings about your life that we humble beings love you so much...just BE HAPPY,EM. xx


Aunty Norma.xx

Emily said...

Thanks, Aunty Norma! love you.

Anonymous said...

YOUR PAST EXPERIENCES ARE ALL PART OF WHO YOU ARE. TO START A NEW ONE WOULD I THINK BE A MISTAKE. WHERE YOU GO FROM HERE IS UP TO YOU. WHERE YOU HAVE BEEN IS SIMPLY THE FOUNDATION STONE YOU HEAD OUT FROM HAVING LEARNED SO MUCH. ITS YOUR DIRECTION AND EXPECTATION THAT DEFINE YOU. I LEARNED A MASSIVE LESSON A FEW YEARS AGO "DO WHAT YOU HAVE ALWAYS DONE, AND YOU'LL GET WHAT YOU HAVE ALWAYS GOT"
TAKE CARE.
RICHARD.

Anonymous said...

!!!! Spot on,Richard!!! :)


A.Norma.

Anonymous said...

I wouldn't base your decision on that book. I have read it and it is a lot of nonsense.

Emily said...

Richard: Very wise counsel!

Anonymous: Everyone's entitled to their own opinion. And I would never make a decision just on one factor.