The New Baby Boom

Did you hear/read the news that more babies were born in 2007 than the previous record set in the 1950s?

Interestingly, 40% of the babies were born to unwed mothers, and although some of those were teenage mothers, the vast majority of those were over 20 years of age. One of the lead researchers was quoted as saying, "For a variety of reasons, it's become more acceptable for women to have babies without a husband."

It's definitely something I continue to ponder and have discussed with some of my singleton peers. Ideally, I would like to have a committed relationship first and then a child. But as the clock continues it's steady march towards forty, I wonder if I should go it alone. But I continue to delay the decision, in part because I wonder if bringing a child into the world on my own is selfish, knowing that the child wouldn't have a father. Would it be better to adopt, giving a child at least one parent? And, of course, there's the very real fact that I would have to continue to work, being a single parent, and someone else would be raising my child during most of its waking hours.

There's no easy answer. I'm grateful that I at least have three beautiful nieces and two charming nephews to enjoy, all of whom I got to see this past weekend!

Unexpected Surprise

Before we left on the cruise, we knew it was Spring Break time for many Texas schools and there would likely be many kids. We learned once we got onboard that several high schools had planned senior trips, and the ship was full of teenagers and their parents. Although there were a few "singles activites," I didn't go. I didn't think I'd meet anyone I'd be interested in, and I decided I'd rather spend the time with my family.

On Monday night, our first formal night, I entered the Karoake competition. I know it doesn't sound modest, but I can sing well. Their list really sucked, and the one song I wanted to do had already been sung. They wouldn't let me repeat it. I decided to sing La Bamba, but the organizers suggested R-E-S-P-E-C-T. When my turn came, I couldn't hear the music and asked them to turn it up. They decided to also change the key. While I continued to sing, trying to adjust to the new key, they changed it again. It was a disaster. I was really embarrassed, and asked them to just put on La Bamba. I did passably well, but I had lost my confidence. I didn't make the cut for the competition, but there was another opportunity on Wednesday.

After that flop, I said goodnight to my parents and went and talked to one of the karoake organizers for a bit, and then I went with a couple of the other participants to the disco/club across the way. I was just standing there, trying to compose myself but still fuming and humiliated, when this really good-looking guy came up and started talking to me. Turns out he works for Royal Caribbean as an IT project manager and was onboard to implement a new scheduling computer system for staffing. Besides being cute, I also found out he loves to dance and is pretty good at it! He's a widower in his 40's and has two kids -- a daughter in college and a 16-year-old son. He lives in Florida, and he has a happy looking face, always ready to smile. We had a lot of fun dancing and talking, and I asked if I'd see him again. He said he'd be pretty busy with the computer system but might see me at the end of the cruise.

On Wednesday, I was determined to sing my best at that Karoake competition tryout. I got there early and signed up for the song I wanted: Bonnie Raitt's Something to Talk About. I had been warming up my voice for about an hour and practiced the song all day. I was the fifth or sixth person to sing, and I was really pleased with my performance -- it was probably one of the best times I've done that song. Since it was late, my family had all turned in for the night, but several strangers in the audience complimented me afterwards. I sat down for a bit, shaking from the adrenalin of performing, and Cruise Guy shows up, telling me he just had a few minutes for a break and decided to come hear me sing. I was flattered. I think he complimented me and stuff, but I was just so surprised to see him, that he remembered I had mentioned it the other night and made a point of being there. I walked out with him -- he had to get back to work -- and we agreed to meet again the next night at the disco/club place where we had met on Monday.

So Thursday, we danced and danced. The cruise was having a 70's disco theme, and we danced to all the classics. It was fun but tiring, too. He kept pulling me back out to the dance floor! We also had a great time talking, and it was just easy to be around him. He asked me to meet him on Friday night at the club they were creating around the adult pool.

Each of these evenings, by the time the dancing was scheduled and Cruise Guy was done with his work for the day, it was usually 11 p.m. My family had all gone to bed, and while I would stay out late dancing until 2 a.m., I still got up early with them around 7-8 a.m., not wanting to miss out on the fun.

Friday night felt like a date. Each time I saw Cruise Guy, he was dressed impecably in a suit or at least a nice shirt. Friday had been a formal night for dinner, but I changed out of my sparkly gown to a black-and-white strapless dress. He showed up late, admitting he went to the Karoake competition, which I had not been a part of. He said only one of the singers could rival me (who knows if he was telling the truth or just being courteous, but it was nice). Again, we danced and danced. Then we took a walk around the deck, and he kissed me. It felt so nice to be in someone's arms. I could feel myself kinda falling for this guy, and I fought against it. I try to steel myself against liking anyone too much...guess I'm afraid to get hurt again. But he was so consistently nice and respectful and complimentary and CUTE!

I only saw him briefly on Saturday night, as my niece Anna, my bro-in-law Anthony and I were headed back to our cabins. I was absolutely exhausted by this time anyway, but he said he couldn't leave his colleagues, mentioning he had gotten into some trouble by staying out with me so late the night before. I had given him my business card and tried to be casual, saying "if you ever come to NY, let me know." He squeezed my hand and whispered in my ear that he was sorry he couldn't kiss me but with his colleagues there, watching him...I told him I understood and said goodbye.

And I was hoping by the time I wrote this, I'd have at least an electronic communication to tie it all up, but nothing. I'm disappointed, and disappointed in myself for letting my guard down. But it was fun.

Cruise Memories

I got back late last night after a fantastic 7-day cruise. I'm still a bit exhausted, as the first night back after being gone so long, my cat Sabrina insists on waking me several times through the night to give her attention.

The Caribbean was gorgeous and warm. Back in NYC, it still seems like winter. 

The cruise was especially fun because my niece Anna (soon-to-be-eight) and nephew Colin (5) were so excited about every little thing. It was all new to them, and it was fun seeing things through their eyes. Plus, they usually wanted to sit next to me or hold my hand. I love holding their sweet, soft little hands in mine.

Our first port of call was Cozumel, Me

xico. We adults had all been there before, and we had decided to spend the day snorkeling at the Chankanab park. The water was absolutely spectacular -- such beautiful blues and turquoise that were a feast for the eyes. Anna took to snorkeling easily, but Colin decided the mask wasn't for him. He said he likes to breathe out his nose. :-)

After several hours of viewing the many varieties of fish, and after consuming some beer and lime, we headed into town for a bite of lunch before returning to the boat. 

The next day, we were in George Town, Grand Cayman. Jenn, Anthony, the kids and I wanted to go to Sting Ray City, a sandbar just 20 minutes out on a boat that is shallow and

 frequented by many sting rays. Mom & Dad had been there before and decided to spend the day in town, walking and shopping. Sting Ray City was awesome. The beautiful green water was shallow enough that the kids could easily stand, and of course, the water was so clear, you could easily see through to the sandy floor and see the shadowy figures of the sting rays as they approached. Jenn, Anna and I each kissed a sting ray on its nose -- supposedly giving us each 7 years good luck -- and Jenn and I each took turns holding a female sting ray on our flattened forearms. She was at

 least three feet across and actually quite heavy.

 The sting rays are used to being touched and fed by the many tour guides, and as long as you kept their gills under the water, they were content to be held.

Our next port of call was Montego Bay, Jamaica, and when we docked, we were happy to see we didn't have to "tender" -- take a small boat -- to the island like we did at Grand Cayman. Also, where Grand Cayman is a very flat island, Jamaica has beautiful mountains that were covered in greenery. A reggae band played music as we disembarked, and Jenn found us a bus to the beach Doctors Cave. Of course, the tour guide on the bus tried to sell us on a city tour or at 

the very least a return ride to the boat, but we didn't want to be tied down to a particular time. After all, we're on vacation! We don't want to be on a time schedule, other than the one the cruise ship gave us for getting back before they depart. We rented umbrellas, and the kids loved this beach. The sand was soft and not too hot. Anna got her hair braided, and then Anthony and I rented jet skis and each took a kid. I first had Anna, then we switched and I got Colin. Each one just giggled with glee the whole time! It was great fun.

Jenn found us a cab driver that seemed trustworthy, and he turned out to be a great guy, not too sales-y and very helpful. He took us to a place we could get jerk chicken, and we ate that as well as buying a "young" coconut. We drank the coconut water, learning that it doesn't turn to milk until later in the aging process. Colin couldn't get enough of the water or the pulp.

Our last couple days were at sea, and there were many activities for the adults and the kids. There were many things I would have done if I'd had more time, but I also wanted to just lay on a recliner and read my book, enjoying the ocean views.

There's more to tell -- I met a guy! -- but that's enough for one post, don't ya think?

And We're Off!

Tomorrow, my parents, my sister Jenn, her husband Anthony, their kids Anna & Colin, and I embark on our 7-day Caribbean cruise!

Don't know how much I'll be blogging from sea...depends on how much internet access costs, how busy we are, and if I feel like blogging. :-)

I'm sure there will be many pictures and stories to share next week. Until then...

Beautiful Sight

I got home just in time to catch the last few seconds of a magnificent sunset.

Although I don't have the great camera my bro-in-law Anthony does, I hope these give you some idea of the beautiful colors.

A Night Out in NYC

I read a really good article in my Oprah magazine about being open to new experiences and chance encounters...similar to one of the comments to my last post.

On Friday, my cousin Rob who attends West Point came to the city to celebrate his 21st birthday. He asked me to meet him and his friends for dinner at a restaurant in Little Italy that caters to military guys and West Point cadets. Getting off the subway and walking to the place, I was immersed in Chinatown. It's amazing how it feels like a different country. First, I had to walk through the vendors hawking most-likely-illegal wares. There was a guy saying "Rolexrolexrolexrolex" without pause. (I tried to repeat it and found it to be a tongue-twister!) Then you pass the different markets, and there are so many fruits, vegetables and other things that I can't identify. At a corner, I waited for the light to change and noticed I'm the tallest woman by head and shoulders. I was surrounded by petite Asian women, and although I don't comprehend what they are saying, I love listening to the sing-song language.

And just another block down, I'm in Little Italy. Rob and three of his buddies showed up soon after, and we had a good meal with Italian wine. Rob let me tell a few embarrassing stories about him as a child, and afterwards, we headed upstairs to a "members only" lounge that all West Point cadets are allowed to join to hang out and smoke cigars. (Although the ventilation in the room was very good, everything I was wearing reeks of cigar smoke. Ick!)

We sat on a group of couches and chairs that only had three other guys. Introductions were made, and we learned that these three men were an actor, a cameraman for films, and an entertainment lawyer who also owns his own record label. We started talking about singing, and they asked me to sing something. I sang just one verse of a song and it was well received. The guy in the music business started telling me about different restaurants and jazz clubs around town where anyone can get up and sing, and they encouraged me to go with them to one later that night. Then, someone from another group in the lounge came over and asked if I would come sing to their group! I was flattered and sang for them (Sweet Dreams, a Patsy Cline favorite of mine).

Rob and the other cadets headed back to Grand Central to catch a train back north -- they didn't get weekend passes and just came for the evening -- so I left with the other guys to the restaurant/jazz club. I sang When I Fall in Love (Nat King Cole) with the band and agreed to meet them again sometime.

It was a blast! I stayed out much later than I had anticipated, and I probably had a little too much wine, but it was the most fun I've had in a while.

Worth Waiting For

There's a saying that anything worth having is worth waiting for. And on the flip side, anything that comes too easily is not as valued.

Last Friday, we had our first day of almost-spring-like weather. It got to 59*F and was really gorgeous. I took a long walk at lunch and just soaked up the sun and enjoyed not feeling windburn.

Yesterday, we got a record snowstorm, and eight inches of snow dumped on Manhattan. It's beautiful and white (except for the slushy gray parts on the streets and corners), but it's freezing. This morning it is 16*F (-8*C) but feels like -1*F (-18*C) with the wind chill. When I came out of the subway and inhaled, my lungs protested the cold air, forcing me to cough. I'm really ready for Spring, and I'm so looking forward to my upcoming Caribbean cruise with my parents and Jenn and family.

I've been struggling with keeping my dream alive, the dream of finding someone to spend my life with and have my own kids. With every tick-tock of the biological clock, I feel like the door is closing. And with my past history, even if I met someone today, I would want to spend enough time with him to feel secure about my decision before changing our lives forever with children. The realist in me takes stock of all the blessings I have, and I know I can find happiness and fulfillment in other ways. But the romantic in me is still clinging to the dream. Is it futile? Only time will tell.