First Match, Done

I forgot to change my voice mail message when I went to England. Ah well…it was less than a week that I was gone.

When I returned, I saw in my email I had received my first match from the matchmaker service, Andy. Immediately, I felt anxiety. The emails go out to both people, and we’ve been asked to contact each other via phone as soon as possible to set up a time to meet. As my rep told me, “we’ve already screened the person for you. Now, you just have to meet and see if there’s chemistry.” I felt bad that I hadn’t responded sooner and hoped he didn’t feel I was being rude.

Then I picked up my office voice mail messages, and sure enough, there was a message.
I called him back at the number he had left and got his voice mail. I explained I had been out of the country and apologized for not changing my voice mail or being able to return his call earlier.

We traded voice mails for a couple days. This was my first red flag: he left 4-minute voice mail messages! In today’s technology, you can actually see how long the message is, so I’m not exaggerating. His messages were thorough, but very repetitive. One morning, he left me a message on my cell phone, saying he could only be reached on his cell between 1 and 2, at his lunch time. So I didn’t immediately call back but planned to at the designated time.

Then I got into work and had almost the exact same 4-minute message on my work voice mail! It started, “I don’ t know how often you check your other voice mail, so…” On and on, giving me all his numbers again, his schedule for the next few days, spelling his email address twice. I called a friend (and colleague) into my office to get a second opinion. (She’s also very excited about the matchmaking service for me.)
After listening for a few minutes, she said, “Oh, he sounds nice. He’s probably just nervous. At least he’s communicative!” We chatted back and forth and I noted that his message was still talking from my speaker phone, while we had moved on to other topics!

Finally, Andy’s and my schedules matched up for a drink on Saturday. We had a couple more phone conversations, during which I learned he had actually signed up with a different company than the one I did, and it was bought out by my service company. Hmm…

He also told me about his four brothers and how close he is with them. And he mentioned he can be occasionally mean-spirited. Seemed odd thing to say, but I let it go.

We talked about how many people online don’t describe themselves accurately, using old pictures or lying about their weight. I told him I’m a genuine person, and he agreed he was, too. He described himself to me for our meeting and made a point of saying he was 180 lbs.

The bar I chose was in my neighborhood, and it is located just below street level. This turned out to be great because I saw him walk past before he came in. A sinking feeling came over me as I saw he is not remotely someone I would be attracted to.

I don’t know what scale he’s using, but he’s NOT 180 lbs. He was obviously overweight. His head seemed narrower at the top and wider at the jawline, extending into a chin that diagonally reached his neck.

Maybe he could be a great guy, though, and we could be friends.

Then he started to talk.

I already knew he was a talker, but it’s so annoying when someone asks you a question and then interrupts while you’re trying to answer. He again described himself as “occasionally mean-spirited,” (who SAYS that?!?), and I noticed as he spoke that he’s missing a tooth in the lower set.

Knowing he hadn’t signed up with my service, I asked if they had given him the personality profile. He said no. (Why did they match us?)

I told him how I love to travel, learning about different cultures and religions, different perspectives on the world.

He said how he hates walking around NYC and hearing the different languages.
“Really?” I said, “I LOVE that about this city.”

He went on to complain about how the tourists here don’t get out of your way on the sidewalk, and I explained I don’t think they realize our sidewalks are like highways in other cities. They’re not intentionally being inconsiderate.

[Side note: one of my pet peeves is when people make generalizations, like “All Southerners are dumb.” But this one took the cake.]

“People,” he says, “People are so inconsiderate.”
“ALL people?” I tried to get him to clarify.
“Yes.”
He said there were few people he had met in life that were worth knowing.

At this point, I can’t wait to get outta there. Then he starts dogging my neighborhood, knowing fully well it’s where I live.

“This is a terrible neighborhood. There’s no sense of community at all.”
I said, trying to agree-to-disagree, “Maybe it’s what you put into it.”
“No,” he said arrogantly, “it’s terrible. I used to date a girl who lived here. No one says hello to you, no one knows your name, there’s no sense of community at all.”
I firmly said, “That’s not my experience.” End of discussion.

I got out of there shortly there after, going straight home and writing a very strong email to my service. They responded by calling me and letting me vent, thanking me for my candor and promising to do better next time.

Dancin' Fool

I finally got it.

I went straight to the Nintendo World store this morning at Rockefeller Center. Sure, I was a little late to work, but now I have a Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!

The only game I have so far is Dance Dance Revolution. It's a bit addicting. So Much Fun!

Nantucket

Ah, Nantucket. What a lovely little island. It's nicknamed "The Grey Lady" because of the weathered wood shingles on most buildings and for the frequent fog. Everything there moves at a much slower pace (especially compared to NYC), and it took me awhile to slow down.


Steph took me to a fancy party on Saturday night. The view was spectacular, and the food and music weren't bad either!







I enjoyed the cooler weather, the refreshingly cold water, and especially playing with my nieces and nephews. Paige was particularly attached to me this visit, and I just loved it. I got lots of snuggles.

Celebrating America's Independence Day with Canadians

I was fortunate to get to celebrate July 4th this year with my Canadian friends: Lindsay and Peter who live here in NYC, and new friends Lisa and Fiona who were visiting for the long weekend.

We had a blast! It was a laugh-til-you-cry, laugh-til-you-pee, laugh-til-you-spit-your-drink kind of weekend.

Adding a Little Color

A friend and colleague of mine is getting married on Friday. I've enjoyed co-hosting a shower for her and recently made her veil (I sew a bit, but it's really easy). This last week has been hectic for her, and I've offered to help where possible.

I happened to mention to her that I'm going to Nantucket to visit my sister Steph and her kids on Saturday and that I'm more than a little hesitant to get in a bathing suit in public.

"I'm getting a spray tan on Wednesday night! You should come with me!" she enthusiastically suggested. She'd gotten one once before, in preparation for a trip to Hawaii. She said it made her feel more comfortable about her body, and as everyone knows, if you've got a little extra fat, it looks better tan than blubbery white.

I thought, what the hell. It can't be too terrible (other than the fact you have to stand completely naked in front of a woman you don't know who has a cute little figure while she sprays you for 15 minutes).

While I may not admit to looking "good," (I'm of course my own worst critic), it definitely looks better. It's not cost-prohibitive, and it's not dangerous for your skin like tanning beds. It makes my too-blonde hair (another story) pop more, and does help camouflage the cellulite.

Now, if I could only somehow inconspicuously wear Spanx with my bathing suit...

Why I Haven't Posted

Haven't posted in awhile. I have lots of good stories, from my trip and since I've been back, but I just don't have the time or concentration to write about it.

I work all day on a computer, mostly on the Internet if not email, so I don't usually want to get on the computer again for fun. And I’m really frustrated at work. I keep being asked to do more, and I can’t get it all done. I REALLY hate disappointing my clients and dropping the ball on things. It bothers me personally. But I also am feeling like I’m working too much. I was here yesterday from 9:30-7:30, breakfast and lunch at my desk still working, and when I left, I had to go by the grocery store to get stuff to cook, so I’m eating dinner at 9 p.m. I’m frustrated about my weight, and eating late doesn’t help. Plus, when I eat that late, I feel like I need to stay up at least 2 hours, so I didn't get to bed until 12. Then I don’t get enough sleep, and I’m cranky and tired, and I missed a phone meeting this morning. (!$#@*%!)

Oh, and I’m also hormonal, so I just feel like crying about the whole thing.

I'm sure this will blow over, and I'll feel like posting my usual quirky stories again soon.

Pictures from my trip to Wales