The Long Birthday Weekend

My birthday was on Sunday. This year is an odd-number year for me, and for some reason, I don't like odd numbers as much as even ones. Something about a number being divisible by two makes me feel more balanced. Strange, I know, but both times I married (which if you haven't been reading long, didn't work) were in odd-number years.

To prepare for facing another year, I treated myself to a spa on Saturday. I found a package deal online that included everything I wanted for an amazing price -- body scrub, massage, and facial, plus they give you champagne and chocolate! (Although, that was a bit strange. It's a day spa, so it's in a regular office building, tucked away on the fourth floor, looking completely nondescript from the outside. Upon entering, they had soft music and lighting, and the rooms were comfortable and clean. They gave me the champagne and one single chocolate after my treatments, and showed me to a small table and chair and surrounded me with a folding room divider. So I sat, looking at the room divider, eating my chocolate while sipping champagne!) The staff is all Eastern European, and the woman doing my facial asked me in a heavy accented voice how old I am. When I told her my still-thirtysomething age, she remarked in surprise that she thought I was much younger! (This is not just good customer service, folks. She was looking at my face with that bright light and magnifying lens.)

On Sunday, Aloha Guy arrived, having taken the red-eye flight in from LA. We met at my place before going to church. When he had originally asked me what my plans were for my birthday, I told him all I had planned was church, and he asked if he could go with me. I was pleased he wanted to. After church, I have choir practice, but the jetlag was catching up to him by then, so he retired for several hours to his hotel. Later that afternoon, we met up and did some touristy things and had a late dinner at one of my favorite places in Tribeca. Oh, and some nice kisses. :-)

Monday was a gorgeous day, and we spent much of it enjoying the sunshine and mild temperatures, including a picnic lunch down near the Hudson River. He had work in the city on Tuesday, and we met after our works at my place. (He picked up sushi at a place I recommended.)

All in all, it was a really great time. He's so very generous -- always offering to pay, considerate -- he insisted on spoiling me (Oh, if you insist!), and very complimentary. He's also very laid back and not at all pushy like the guys I've met here in NYC. The only flags I've seen so far are that he's recently divorced, has two kids from his marriage, and lives in LA. So I'll see him when he's on this coast and let the rest unfold as it will.

Flowers!

First, the chocolates.
Then, the music.
Now, I get flowers!

Today, I got a beautiful bouquet of mixed flowers delivered to work, courtesy of Aloha Guy in honor of my birthday.

It's impressive that this guy is so persistent and sweet. The card was very casual, just wishing me a wonderful day. So although my faithful reader and commenter "jman" mentioned it might be too much too soon, Aloha Guy has been very nonchalant in his conversations and messages. I don't feel like he's "expecting" anything, and even when I asked if there's something particular he wants to do or see while he's in NYC, he said he just wants to spend time with me, even just sitting on a park bench.

It's the second time this week that he's put a smile on my face. I like this wooing business!

Too Good To Be True?

So after the chocolates that were delivered to my hotel in D.C. last week, I got an email from Aloha Guy that he'd like to take me out for my birthday. He's going to Boston for work next week and coming to NYC first to see me. I'm surprised and pleased and looking forward to having something to do on my b-day.

And today, I received a FedEx package from him with two compilation CDs of Hawaiian music. He offered to make them when we went to dinner last week, and I said I'd like that. (Remember in the 80's when we used to make mixed tapes?) Still, I was surprised that he actually did it and sent them so quickly.

This guy seems so nice! Am I so jaded by my experiences here that this seems so unusual? I read recently on another single gal's blog that her West coast friend remarked she couldn't believe what we NYC girls put up with. She also had this interesting chart on her blog from National Geographic:



As you can see, NYC and the surrounding area has the most single women, while the LA area has the most single men. (Texas is looking pretty good in this chart, too.)


Hmm...

5K

On Sunday, I ran a 5K with my sister Jenn, her husband Anthony and my 8-year-old niece Anna. It was an unusually cool morning in Austin, and the crisp air seemed to help us all pick up our feet.

Jenn blew us all away, as we knew she would, and finished first in our group. (Her sweet dog Francesca had no problem keeping up with her pace.)






I was thrilled with my time of 36 minutes, 25 seconds, but I've decided I don't look great running. :-)







And Anna and Anthony were right behind me.

A Follow-Up

I went to Washington, D.C. this week for a conference where I was speaking. And Aloha Guy sent me chocolates to my hotel room. Wow! I was very pleasantly surprised.

(In conversation the previous day, he had asked me nonchalantly where I was staying and remarked that it was a nice hotel. I had no idea what he was planning.)

Surprisingly Good Time

When I was in D.C. for a conference in April, I went out with some vendors, and I met a guy who was also in town for a conference. He seemed very nice, and was very easy to talk to, so we exchanged business cards. He's originally from Hawaii (so I'm going to dub him Aloha Guy), but now lives in LA. He mentioned when we met that he was coming to NYC in May.

And he looked me up. Aloha Guy was only in town for a couple of days, so we decided to meet up for drinks. I took him to the Campbell Apartment, which is in Grand Central Terminal. It was a lavish office space in the 1920's and has been restored to the glories of that time. We had a couple drinks, and the conversation was going so well, we decided to grab dinner.

I suggested Sushi Samba, one of my favorites that is a fusion of Japanese, Brazilian and Peruvian cuisines. The flavor combinations are just spectacular. Aloha Guy enjoyed the food as well, and I loved it that he let me choose everything. (I guess I enjoy control sometimes!)

The best thing was the ease of conversation. I feel like, if nothing else, I could really be friends with this guy. It's tough making friends in NYC -- I often get told that I'm "too nice" (and it's not a compliment) -- and even tougher getting together with those friends.

I really enjoyed spending time with Aloha Guy and talking with him. I've been to Hawaii many times, and it is one of my favorite places for its incredible beauty and laid back lifestyle. We also talked about our travels. He's never been to Europe but has travelled extensively in Asia, so we swapped stories about different cities and cultures. And the whole thing was very comfortable. I never felt like he was pressuring me for anything more than my current company. (So different from the forced-upon kiss of the date I had a couple weeks ago!) We parted with just a hug, and he said he'd be in touch the next time he was coming to the East Coast.

Exercise = Endorphins

I was feeling a bit low on Friday and Saturday. A long work week just about beat me down, and the week of dreary rain also dampened my mood. I'm also pondering what to do about my birthday. (My upcoming birthday doesn't fill me with dread because it's another year older, but I'm dreading spending it alone.)

I usually talk to my mom on Saturdays. We catch up on what's going on with the family and trade stories about work and stuff. I told her I was down (and maybe even cried a bit) and she encouraged me to get out and get some exercise. She also gave me a good way to put my birthday in perspective, saying we will celebrate it while I'm in Texas to also celebrate my sister's, dad's and nephew's birthdays. (May's a busy month for our family.) 

I took her advice and got out on my bike, riding up the West coast of Manhattan where there's a bike path along the West Side highway. I rode up to 70th Street, then across to Central Park where I could get at least some mild hills. Back on 72nd to the West side, I rode back down, enjoying the salt water smell and the kite event that was happening on one of the piers. 

And whattya know, mom was right. I did feel better. (Although my butt is still a little sore.)

Funny joke

How is sex like snow?

You never know how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

Showers & Quilts

This past Saturday, I had two baby showers to attend.

Baby showers aren't every single gal's favorite activity, especially those of us who are pining for a baby of our own, but two of my dear friends here in NYC are both expecting their firsts -- both girls. And I have been working on making each of them a quilt. Usually, I ask the moms what their nursery theme is and design a quilt to match that. But both these gals -- Erin and Kelly -- told me to just create whatever. The only guidance I got was that Erin asked that it not have too much pink, and Kelly requested bright pink.

So I created the quilts to match each of their personalities. Erin's quilt is made of pastels -- green, yellow and purple. (The back is light green with purple butterflies.) Erin is such a sweet person, one of the nicest people I know, and she's very traditional. I used a pattern I had done before, so I knew I could complete it well and quickly.

Kelly's quilt is bright and bold, just like she is. I chose a simple pattern, but it has a twist: every other square is made up of smaller squares. I chose the bright pink and purple to create those little patchwork squares. I sewed long strips of purple and pink in groups of five, and then cut the sewn strips crosswise and sewed the new rows together, alternating the colors. It didn't take as long as I feared, and the back fabric matched the yellow with bright butterflies in the solid squares.

I was thrilled that both Erin and Kelly were excited and touched by the quilt I made for their baby girl. And now I just have one more to do, for a friend whose baby boy is due in July.

Another NY Date

The guy I met last night described himself as an "Authentic NYer" -- born, raised and always lived in Manhattan. At first look, I was glad he looked like his pictures online (not always the case) and recognized me right away from mine, saying I looked exactly like my pictures, too.

We met at a great bar where he knows the bartender, and I got the bar's signature martini, which included orange-flavored vodka and a wine-based liqueur. It was refreshing without being too sweet. He got a whiskey-based cocktail, and while he offered me a taste, I don't like the smell of whiskey at all. He was very intrigued about my drink, and after several questions about it, I realized he wanted to try it and offered him a taste. After that, he felt like he could take a sip of my drink whenever he felt like it. It was strange, and I called him on it. He said, "Well, you said to share it with you!" which I did not. A sip is not "share." Whatever.

He enjoyed talking and apparently hearing himself talk. He's quite confident he's an interesting conversationalist. But the multiple times he interrupted me were annoying. I also noticed he had several mannerisms that, in my opinion, were effeminate. And while that usually sets my Gaydar off, I've seen this with other straight NY guys, and I think it's just a difference between Southern men and Yankee men. But I have a difficult time finding this attractive in a man.

In the middle of a conversation, he motioned to the bartender to give us the check and said, "let's get out of here, go somewhere else." Since it was 7:30, I assumed he meant grab a bite to eat, but you know what assuming gets you...

As we left the bar and started walking, I asked him, "Where are we going?" He stopped for a minute and said, "How about a rooftop? Is it too cold for you?" I agreed that sounded like fun and asked again where he was thinking of. "My place, of course! What did you think I meant by rooftop?" Well, I was thinking of the rooftop bars that I have been to in this city, and I'm not sure what you are planning. I told him that while I'm still learning the cultural differences between here and Texas (and believe me, there are many!), I did learn the hard way about not inviting someone up to your apartment unless you're expecting something. He asked me about how I learned that and completely agreed with the guy and told me I was in the wrong. (Yeah, thanks, I figured that out!) He also told me he wasn't expecting anything other than to enjoy my company. I still felt a little weird, though... (WHY don't I listen to my gut???)

He fixed me a drink - but not himself one - and again helped himself to sips of my drink. Weird. He was also overly touchy. He kept touching my hands or my arm while he was talking to me. Out-of-the-blue, he asked me, "Are you attracted to me?" and I was so caught off guard, I just told him the truth, sort-of, saying, "A little."

"A little?!" he was obviously disappointed. I told him I needed to get to know him more, that attraction to me is more than just how someone looks. He recovered, saying he only found me a little attractive, too. So I thought, maybe we can be good friends...

He showed me his balcony (NOT a rooftop) and moved in close. I panicked and put my hands on his chest and asked, "You're not going to kiss me, are you?" (Dumb question, of course that's what he was going to do.) Unfortunately, my question didn't stop him, but I just gave him a closed-mouth kiss and wiggled away.

I went to the bathroom and while I had a moment to myself, started thinking of ways to get out of there. But when I came back to the living room, he said, "Did you have everything you needed in there?" I laughed and said yes, toilet paper and a sink with soap. Then abruptly he asked, "Do you want me to walk you down stairs to get a cab?" What a 180-degree shift, but I wasn't going to pass up that opportunity and said, "Yes, please. That would be nice."

The best part of the date was the cab ride home!