Family Invasion

There are more people per square inch in my apartment than there ever has been, and I'm loving it!

My sister Jenn, her husband Anthony and my niece and nephew Anna & Colin arrived on

Wednesday afternoon. The kids were so excited to be here, they almost bounced off the walls. I had just finished a busy day at work, (and didn't feel like cooking) so we walked up to an Italian restaurant in Tribeca.

After a delicious dinner, Anna asked about dessert, and mentioned that when they went on vacation to Italy last year, they had gelato every night for dessert. That reminded me of a nice little gelateria in the World Financial Center, so we walked down there to see the palm trees inside the building and watch the sunset over the Hudson River.

Last night when I got home, Jenn made dinner! Our first course was this beautiful insalata caprese with tomatoes and basil

from their garden. It was absolutely delicious, as was the risotto.

Jenn's sleeping with me in my king-sized bed. The kids are on the inflatable mattress in the living room, and Anthony's got the couch. It gets really bright in my apartment really early, and on Thursday morning the kids woke up WAY too early for any of us, even though I had to get up and go to work. So I told them they need to cover their eyes when they wake up and go back to sleep. I gave Colin my eye mask and showed him how to use it. (He decided it looked like a bra and tried it on that way, too!)

But it worked! The kids both slept in this morning until 9 a.m. Anna said she put the eye mask on first but Colin took it off her and put it on himself, so she just ducked under the covers.

Dinner & a Workout

Aloha Guy was in town last week for business, and I met him a couple times for dinner and a workout.

He's a little better now that I've told him to chill. He's very much a gentleman, and he certainly knows how to treat a lady. But I'm still keeping him at arms length. For one thing, every time I ask about his marriage, he gets very uncomfortable. It makes me wonder, is he really divorced? Or is he just saying that? Wouldn't be the first time a guy pretends to be available.

Aloha Guy is very into fitness, and he offered to show me some different exercises with weights to take my exercise program to the next level. He showed me several different things and encouraged me to take it slow, but I guess I overdid it, trying to show him that I could do it all. My legs were killing me for the next couple days! Definitely going to take it slower from here on.

Boat Cruise Fun

I attended an interactive marketers event last night that was held on a great party boat, the "Spirit of New York." There was plenty of great food and drinks, and several of my colleagues attended, too.

The boat ride went from Chelsea Piers (at 23rd Street) up the Hudson. We got a great view of the USS Intrepid, which is now docked as a museum at Pier 86. Then we headed south for an up-close view of Lady Liberty at sunset.

Nantucket

While many of my family members are roasting in the severe Texas heat and drought, we've had such a slow start to summer here in the Northeast. June was almost completely washed out here in NYC, with only 5 days not having rain. Since July arrived, though, it is feeling like summer, and I've been reminded how much I enjoy summertime. For so many years, living in Texas, I dreaded the summer and the heat that zaps your energy, existing from the air conditioning in your house to the air conditioning in your car until you get to the air conditioning at work. Living further north, I've been enjoying feeling the warm (not hot) sun on my face and being able to enjoy the sunny days with outdoor activities.

This past weekend, I went to Nantucket to join my sister Steph and her kids for a few days. Nantucket is even cooler than NYC, and the water was so cold I only braved getting in on Saturday when we had the warmest weather.

Tick-Tock, Tick-Tock

Did you hear about this?
Two new techniques to preserve and transplant ovaries might give women a better chance to fight their biological clocks and have children when they are older, doctors announced Monday. In the past, scientists have performed ovarian transplants in women with cancer, since chemotherapy often causes infertility. Doctors typically take out patients' ovaries before the toxic treatment begins and then reimplant them later.

Now, recent advances to preserve ovaries and surgically implant them could make the procedure more widely available, helping women avoid fertility problems as they age. Many women are now delaying having a family until their 30s or 40s, when fertility problems become more common. Women in their 20s or 30s could theoretically have an ovary removed and frozen, and then have it reimplanted years later when they are ready to have children.

Full article

Interesting concept. Of course, even if this had been an option for me when I was in my 20s (or early 30s), I don't know if I would have taken advantage of it. I'm so romantic and hopeful, I always thought I would find the "right" guy and have kids in plenty of time. Honestly, my goal was to have kids before I turned 30. When I was 29 and knew that wasn't going to happen, I reset the goal to 35. Now I've missed that goal post, too! :-)

Sometimes when I mention the ol' biological clock, people say, "But you still look young!" Thanks for the compliment, but how I look on the outside doesn't mean anything for the eggs. I found these statistics, from Dr. Kevin Lederer, president of Fertility Centers of Illinois:

Until age 34, women have a 20 percent chance of conceiving in a given month and 20 percent of those pregnancies will end in a miscarriage.

After 35, a woman’s likelihood of conceiving in a given month drops to 10 percent and her miscarriage risk goes up to 30 percent.

After 40, she has a 5 percent chance of getting pregnant and a 40 percent chance of having a miscarriage. After 42, “99 percent of fertility is over,” Lederer said.

I know some women purposely delay having children, whether to focus on their career or be more financially secure or other reasons. But for me, it's just been a happenstance occurrence. I definitely feel like the window of opportunity is closing, but I don't want to rush into something just to have children of my own. I'm trying to be okay with the idea that it may not happen for me. (I'm mostly okay with it.) I feel very blessed to have other children in my life, especially my beautiful and wonderful nieces and nephews. Still, there is a sense of "there's no time to waste" when I think of potential suitors.

A little work, A little fun

For the record, I love 3-day weekends! I think every work week should be only 4 days and every weekend 3 days. It's so much better balanced.

I had a great weekend and got so much accomplished. My dear friend Lauren had her baby boy Luke on Wednesday, so I knew I needed to get moving on the quilt I'm making for him. (I should be done soon, and I'm really pleased with the materials and pattern. Stay tuned.) I also needed to tackle my closet, and I wanted to help my friend Christine celebrate her birthday on the 4th.

Since losing 24 pounds and two sizes (and so far keeping it off!), my closet was filled with things that no longer fit. I went through each piece and decided whether they fit, are still in decent shape or need tailoring. I put the ones to tailor in my hall closet and folded the rest for donation. I usually clean out my closet twice a year to get rid of anything I haven't worn in a year, but this time it was really substantial. That's right...six bags!

I found things in my closet that had been pushed to the back that I can now wear again. It was great to find things I'd forgotten about and to realize I have more options to work with than I thought. Plus, it felt very freeing to get it all organized and uncluttered.

Saturday night, I went to dinner with Christine and her friends and family at a Cuban restaurant in the Village. They had a live band playing music, and the singer was really fantastic. I spoke to him on his break, and he invited us to see them later at another location. From dinner, Christine and I headed over to the fireworks, but of course there were so many people on the streets, we couldn't get very close or get to a place with an unobstructed view. Then she suggested we go to karaoke. We both enjoying singing, and we did that for an hour or two and then headed over to the restaurant/bar where the Latin band was playing. It was packed but we were able to get close to the band. The singer smiled at us in recognition, and pretty soon we were dancing with different guys there. I'm not the best salsa dancer, but it is so much fun! We were there until it closed, and my feet ached from so much dancing. I got home after 4 a.m., which is VERY unusual for me.

Needless to say, Sunday was a recovery day for me. I worked some more on the quilt, watched some movies and did grocery shopping for the week. All in all, it was a great weekend.

Aloha Update

Aloha Guy is in Hawaii for a vacation and sent me a postcard yesterday.

Oh, and it turns out he's not QUITE divorced yet. All the paperwork has been filed, but it's not final for a couple months.

I know from personal experience and from dating a guy that had just gotten a divorce that it takes time to recover from something like that. There's a lot of emotions you have to deal with, and then with kids involved, it definitely takes everyone time to learn the new relationships.

Aloha Guy seems a little too clingy to me, and after a text message that he ended "Love ya" and a multiple-page handwritten love letter, I told him to back off. Attentive is sweet, but his actions have made me feel uncomfortable. Oh well. As my sister Steph said, "Aloha means 'hello' and 'goodbye.'"

Enjoying Free Activities in NYC

Last Saturday, we actually got some sun! (We've only had 5 days in June that it hasn't rained.) I enjoyed getting out on my bike for a nice ride up the West side, where there is a protected bike path, and then I stopped for some free kayaking in the Hudson River.
I learned about the kayaking last year, and it's such a treat. It's FREE and all you have to do is sign a waiver and they let you borrow a lifejacket and kayak. I was out for about 30 minutes. I figure it's a good arm workout after my hour on the bike for my legs.

Saturday night, it rained as I was walking over to the East River for a free opera performance. "River to River" is a series of performances by musical artists that occurs at different venues on the Hudson and East Rivers. Saturday was a performance by the NY Opera and Orchestra, and one of the tenors attends my church. He occasionally sings solos at church and awes us all with his world-class talent. There were several singers who performed a collection of songs from various operas, including Rigoletto and the Barber of Seville.

The rain was pretty heavy as I walked over to the venue, but it cleared up just before performance time and we were treated to several rainbows over the stage. The whole thing was beautiful.

This Makes Me Mad

A story in Newsweek reports on a recent psychological experiment where participants were shown photos of women's and men's faces looking sad, afraid, angry or disgusted, with a sentence beneath each image purporting to explain the emotion, such as "buried a family pet" for a sad face, or "was threatened by an attacker" for a fearful one. The participants offered starkly different explanations for the emotions, saying that the women were "emotional" while the men were "having a bad day" even when the expressions and explanations were identical. So while the men were perceived to have a feeling because of context, women were perceived to be temperamental or have an emotional nature.

Women are often touted as the more emotional sex, and it's not considered a positive thing. But the scientific evidence to support that theory is skimpy. This study concluded "The stereotype of the overly emotional female is grounded in the belief that women express emotion because they are emotional creatures, but men express emotion because the situation warrants it. Regardless of whether women are objectively more emotionally expressive, people attribute their emotional behaviors to a more emotional nature."

This annoys me because I've actually been told in the past by a boss [who I couldn't stand] that I am "too emotional." I describe myself as passionate, and wouldn't you want someone who is passionate about what they do rather than someone who doesn't give a damn?

The Future of Dating?

This was sent to me by a friend and gave me a chuckle.
I wish this technology was available now!

Incredible Entertainment

Last week, my mom and I attended Andrea Bocelli's concert at Madison Square Garden. It was absolutely fantastic. He sang mostly classical opera pieces, but he also had a couple of other styles thrown in here and there, such as "My Way," which he sang while playing the piano.



He was joined by a full orchestra and choir and special guests, including a fantastic soprano and a world-class flutist. He gave an incredible seven encores, and the audience was enthusiastic in its appreciation.


I had seen Andrea Bocelli perform as one of the many performers at the Concert for Diana in London in 2007, and he was one of my favorites. His talent is unmistakeable, and his blindness is only evident in that he closes his eyes while singing and doesn't make any gestures with his hands or arms. It's all in his beautiful voice.

The Hamptons, Dahling

You need a certain amount of activity to provide fodder for a blog, but too much activity, and there's no time or energy to blog! This week has been a whirlwind. Besides work being consistently busy (still so thankful to have a good job in this economy), I've had dinner with an old colleague, been keeping up with exercise, seen a fantastic concert, and cleaned my apartment in preparation for my mom's visit. (I usually clean up on the weekend, but since I've been gone the last two weekends, it was sorely needing scrubbing, dusting and vacuuming!)

Last weekend, I got an amazing invitation to a house in the Hamptons from one of my vendors. The Hamptons is a collection of towns on the eastern edge of Long Island, most of which end in "-hampton" like South Hampton, East Hampton, Bridgehampton. I was actually in Sag Harbor, but it's that same general area and so is considered in "the Hamptons."

We've been experiencing very strange weather here in the northeast with temperatures so mild they are bordering on cold and a seemingly endless supply of rain. It doesn't feel like summer at all. But I'm not complaining because most of my family is sweltering in the Texas heat. Last weekend we had a few patches of sun, but it was still pretty cool, with highs only in the low 70's F (22C). So, due to the weather and the accommodations, I never left the house we were staying at.

I took a three-hour train ride out there, and the masses of people trying to cram on the train was overwhelming. But I didn't want to miss it and have to wait for the next one in two hours, so I pushed my way into the car, finding a middle seat and a place for my suitcase. It seemed like everyone from NYC was headed out there!

I overheard two girls talking on the way there, and at one point, one said, "It would be so lonely to be on this train alone!" But I didn't feel lonely. I enjoyed the quiet time, time to myself.

The house is beautiful, with 5 bedrooms, 6 baths and two dens with extra sleeping space (aka sofas), a clay tennis court and a heated pool. It's surrounded by trees and has an eclectic collection of artwork. There were only a few of us who got there on Friday night, and we played Rock Band and an American Idol game. (I love to sing and blew everyone away getting perfect scores on singing. Ha!) Saturday started out nice weather-wise, so I "played tennis" with some of the other guests. I put it in quotes because I've never played tennis before although I used to watch it on TV with my dad. We just focused on hitting the ball back and forth and didn't keep score or worry if the ball bounced twice. We played for a couple hours, and it was a great workout!

Then we headed down to the pool, and while originally I was so hot from playing tennis, the warm, heated water wasn't as refreshing as I'd hoped, as the afternoon wore on and the wind grew colder, the warm water was comforting. We stayed in the water to avoid getting out and being too cold!

I have to say, though, it was the first time I can remember feeling confident in a bikini. I've lost a total of 24 pounds through all the diet changes and exercising and training for the triathlon. And I finally feel good about my body. Oh, and all the single guys there were flirting with me. :-)

One of the guys grilled tuna steaks for dinner on Saturday, and they were SO good. We all hung out and talked and played games until late into the night. Sunday was recuperation and travel home, but all in all in was a great weekend.

Piano & Swimming

I've been too busy to post lately, so I've got some "stored material" here.

In addition to the tri, the days I was in Austin were filled with many activities the kids were doing. I was so pleased to get to attend their piano recital and swim meet.

Colin looked so dapper in his almost-suit outfit that Nana bought him for the cruise. And both kids did REALLY well on their performances. (Remember they've only been playing for a few months.)






At the swim meet, one of the parents draws elaborate artwork on the kids. He draws in permanent marker to last through the swimming (and a few more days), and his talent is really incredible. Anna and Colin's swim team is the Piranhas and they were competing against the Sharks, so Anna's design has the piranhas attacking the shark.

Here's Anna's last event, the breaststroke. Although she's last to finish in this heat, her technique looks good!

More Tri Pics

Just a few more pictures I received today from the Tri...

My niece Anna grabbed my hand at the end of the run and crossed the finish line with me. She looks much more exuberant than I do at that point!

I am a Triathlete

This year was my third time to join my big sister Jenn on the Danskin Triathlon in Austin, TX. I knew the heat was going to kick my butt, and it did. But I was VERY pleased with my overall time.

The first year, in 2006, it took me 2 hours and 32 minutes to complete the whole thing (1/2 mile swim in open water in a lake, 12 miles biking on a very hilly course, and 3.1 miles running/walking also on a hilly course).

The second year, 2007, I shaved a little time off and completed in 2 hours and 29 minutes.

I skipped last year, due to moving to NYC and other factors. But I really missed it, and committed to doing it again this year.

And my completion time this year? 2 hours and 8 minutes! Yay! I did better in each event and was quicker on my transition times (the time between events when you change gear). The hardest time for me was on the run. It was really warm by then, and I felt like I was going to vomit the entire time. (I didn't, though.) I had to walk quite a bit, but I finished jogging. My niece Anna grabbed my hand and crossed the finish line with me.

Jenn did terrific as always, finishing in 1 hour 49 minutes.




Afterwards, we had our usual post-race brunch at a little Mexican restaurant that has delicious migas and fresh, homemade tortillas with Jenn's friend Kareen.


We've been pretty much vegetables since we finished this morning. My muscles don't hurt, but everything is very tired. Jenn and I each took a nap this afternoon, but I will be ready to go to sleep early tonight. And as sick as I felt during the run (and right after), I'm glad I did it and proud of my time. Still gotta catch Jenn, though...

Green Eyes

Here is a picture showing GED's beautiful eyes. As the story goes...

Back in 1998, I was dating a guy (who became ex-husband #2) who was taking a special training course at work. He called me to come meet some of his colleagues from Holland who were also in the class, and I went to meet them at the bar of a Texas steakhouse. When I walked in, I said hello to my boyfriend and he introduced his new friends. I shook hands with the first, then the second, and when I locked eyes with the third, I exclaimed, "Oh my God, you have beautiful eyes!" Immediately, I blushed when I realized I had said that out loud, and he laughed. (He told me later he wondered if this was how American women greeted new friends!) I was so embarrassed, although it was an honest statement, and we somehow managed to get past that pretty quickly and had a lovely evening all getting to know each other. They were in Texas for 6 weeks or so, and we all hung out together many times and kept in touch afterwards.

Green eyes are the rarest color. And strangely, I've dated three guys (including GED) with green eyes. I must be drawn to them in some way.

An Amazing Visit

When it rains, it pours, the saying goes. And it certainly has been an unusual week for me.

Just days after Aloha Guy left, I got another visitor. This one had been planned for some time, but I didn't want to write about it beforehand. I wanted to see how it would go first.

Nearly nine years ago, I had a relationship with a guy from Holland. I fell madly in love with this Green-Eyed Dutchman, but he ended up breaking my heart. Of course, now I can understand why he chose what he did at the time (he had a daughter and decided to try to make it work with her mother), but it was a terrible time for me when it ended. Over the last nine years, we've kept in touch sporadically, an occasional phone call or email every couple years or so. But each of us has been going through various relationships, and when he got in touch with me a few months ago, it was the first time we were both unattached and single at the same time. 

We both were curious to see if there were any feelings still left between us, and agreed we should see each other. He now lives in Barcelona, and neither of us had been to the other's city before. We decided he should come to NYC because as a European he has much more vacation time than I do, the flights were cheaper coming this way then the reverse, and I felt he owed me after the ending nine years ago.

For the past four days, I've been playing tour guide, and we saw all the famous sites including Times Square, Central Park, Rockefeller Center, 5th Avenue, Grand Central, the United Nations building, the Empire State Building, the Statue of Liberty, the Brooklyn Bridge, Little Italy, Soho and the West Village. It was so easy to be with the Green-Eyed Dutchman again, and exciting, too. There are definitely strong feelings between us, but neither one of us is ready to make a decision about what to do next.

He told me I look great (so glad I've been losing weight and training for the tri!) and that I seem like a stronger person now, not just physically but emotionally too. He looks older, but not much different than before, and he seems wiser and more grounded than years ago. We talked about everything and nothing. He annoyed me with the way he loves to pick fights about different things, but we also had some great laughs, comfortable silences, and romantic evenings. I cried to see him go, but I'm hopeful to see him in a few months or so with him playing tour guide in Barcelona.