(Now, get your mind out of the gutter...)
I've written before about my volunteering at the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) and working with premies. This Monday was especially busy. When I arrived, Lily, the nurse I usually work with, said, "I REALLY need you tonight."
It's nice to feel like what you're doing really helps someone - both the nurses and the patients. Sometimes the nurses feel bad asking me to retrieve blankets or other supplies for them, but I really don't mind. It allows them to focus on their patients. Of course, my favorite thing to do is hold the babies.
I fed four babies this week and also got to help with a couple others. I talk to each of them and encourage them to eat and burp. I also got to speak a little Spanish to two new dads. My time there just flies by. I guess that's what happens when you're doing what you love.
In all my Mondays at Parkland, I've only witnessed one death. It was a new patient that had just been admitted into the unit. I was feeding another one in the same room. There were several nurses around this little boy, and a couple doctors were walking in and out. One of the doctors was watching the monitors and first noticed the breathing changing slightly. The baby was born at 27 weeks, very young when a normal term pregnancy is 40 weeks. Lungs are one of the last organs to develop, and most premies have some difficulty with their respiration. The doctor alerted the nurses who immediately started supplementing the child's breathing with a CPR bag, but unfortunately he kept crashing. They called a code blue and several more staff members rushed into the room, although the space around his little bed was already full. They brought the father in, along with a translator and a minister. The minister gave last rites as the translator repeated the words in Spanish. I felt for the father. His face was in total shock. They escorted him out and then stopped the CPR. One of the nurses was crying, and the charge nurse reassured her that she and everyone else on the team had done everything possible.
It was very surreal. I wasn't sad for the baby, because I believe he went to a better place, a peaceful, loving, painless place. But my heart hurt for the parents, who had been awaiting the birth of their child and now had to bury him.
I admire the nurses and doctors who do this miniature work so much. But wow, the responsibility. If I mess up at work, or if the project just doesn't work out because of unavoidable factors, I feel badly, but it's not like life and death. It would be hard to let go and not question every action you took.
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Good Times
Steve and I had such a great weekend last weekend. It began early with my company's Halloween carnival. Steve attended and got to meet several of my coworkers. On Friday, we both took off work for the afternoon and drove to Waco. He met my grandma and great aunt Sudie, my aunt Cinda and her kids, Robert and Beverly. We taught him to play the domino game chicken foot, and we all had fun.
Robert's basketball team was playing a game in Waco that evening, and it was really exciting to watch! Unfortunately, they lost by 5 points. I really enjoyed Bevie's cheering and heckling of the players and referees. I wish we all lived closer so I could see more games.
On Saturday, Steve took me to a mountain biking trail not far from my house that I was unaware of. We had a brisk 5-mile ride through the woods. It was beautiful with the leaves turning fall colors. He gave me his "old" heart monitor because he got a new one from his boss. (I put old in quotes because it's only a few months old.) So, throughout the ride, he would ask if I was ok and what my heart rate was.
Later, I cooked him dinner and then we went to a costume party at a local club. I resurrected my Marilyn Monroe costume and won 3rd place ($50 gift certificate)! Steve was proud of me but thought I deserved 1st or 2nd.
Robert's basketball team was playing a game in Waco that evening, and it was really exciting to watch! Unfortunately, they lost by 5 points. I really enjoyed Bevie's cheering and heckling of the players and referees. I wish we all lived closer so I could see more games.
On Saturday, Steve took me to a mountain biking trail not far from my house that I was unaware of. We had a brisk 5-mile ride through the woods. It was beautiful with the leaves turning fall colors. He gave me his "old" heart monitor because he got a new one from his boss. (I put old in quotes because it's only a few months old.) So, throughout the ride, he would ask if I was ok and what my heart rate was.
Later, I cooked him dinner and then we went to a costume party at a local club. I resurrected my Marilyn Monroe costume and won 3rd place ($50 gift certificate)! Steve was proud of me but thought I deserved 1st or 2nd.
Monday, October 31, 2005
Happy Halloween
I really enjoy Halloween. I love dressing up and acting like someone else for a day. Fortunately for me, my company goes all out for Halloween. Everyone dresses up for work and at the end of the day we have a carnival-type party. This year, we had our costume day on Thursday. (last Thursday)
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Fiesta
Last Saturday afternoon, Daniel invited me to join him at his cousin's daughter's 1st birthday party. He said I just HAD to experience a Mexican birthday party. I enjoy learning about other cultures and I LOVE Mexican food, so I agreed to go.
Daniel said it started at 4:00, but then told me not to get there before 4:30. Good to know. He explained later that "it's a Mexican thing" and it is considered rude if you arrive on time, even to a wedding!
We actually arrived closer to 5:00, and they were still setting everything up. In the backyard, they had a bouncy house for the kids and several tables set up with balloons and baby angel figurines. There was a keg in the corner of the yard, and after another hour or so, they set up the food: chicken mole, some pork dish, rice and beans. There were also fresh corn tortillas and salsa. When I reached for the salsa, Daniel's aunt asked quickly in Spanish if I like spicy food. (She was concerned about me.) Daniel translated for me, and I told her "Me gusta!" Almost everyone was speaking strictly Spanish, so I got to practice my few phrases. Daniel kept chuckling at how "cute" my accent is.
The birthday girl was dressed all in white and looked like a little princess. Of course, at one year, she could care less about all the fuss going on around her.
I left around 7:00, but Daniel said the party would continue late into the night. It was very laid back, and everyone was very welcoming. I asked Daniel to join me as I host my family for Thanksgiving, so I can return the favor and show him a traditional American holiday.
Daniel said it started at 4:00, but then told me not to get there before 4:30. Good to know. He explained later that "it's a Mexican thing" and it is considered rude if you arrive on time, even to a wedding!
We actually arrived closer to 5:00, and they were still setting everything up. In the backyard, they had a bouncy house for the kids and several tables set up with balloons and baby angel figurines. There was a keg in the corner of the yard, and after another hour or so, they set up the food: chicken mole, some pork dish, rice and beans. There were also fresh corn tortillas and salsa. When I reached for the salsa, Daniel's aunt asked quickly in Spanish if I like spicy food. (She was concerned about me.) Daniel translated for me, and I told her "Me gusta!" Almost everyone was speaking strictly Spanish, so I got to practice my few phrases. Daniel kept chuckling at how "cute" my accent is.
The birthday girl was dressed all in white and looked like a little princess. Of course, at one year, she could care less about all the fuss going on around her.
I left around 7:00, but Daniel said the party would continue late into the night. It was very laid back, and everyone was very welcoming. I asked Daniel to join me as I host my family for Thanksgiving, so I can return the favor and show him a traditional American holiday.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Saturday, October 22, 2005
Progress?
Last night, Steve and I met up with my gay boyfriend Daniel and some of his friends at some hip, ritzy bars in Uptown. Both places were full of beautiful people and loud music. I had been to one of the bars before, and I know the manager of security there. I guess I never really paid for my own drinks whenever I've been there, and Steve and I were shocked that our 2 drinks cost $18!
A friend of mine, reflecting on a past relationship, said she almost lost herself and is now getting to know herself again. Oh, I remember how that feels. In each of my three major adult relationships (Mark, Chris and Rod, for those who need reminding), I was so concerned with getting their approval, I didn't take care of myself. I let them take advantage of me and treat me poorly. I constantly felt like I had to earn their love.
Now, I'm entering into this relationship with Steve and balancing that with maintaining my sense of self. And I know now that I deserve to be treated with respect, just as I will treat others with respect. Steve is very easy-going and has been understanding of my push-pull and occasionally bumbling remarks. We each respect our individual time and our private time with our friends. And I think that makes the time we spend together that much sweeter.
A friend of mine, reflecting on a past relationship, said she almost lost herself and is now getting to know herself again. Oh, I remember how that feels. In each of my three major adult relationships (Mark, Chris and Rod, for those who need reminding), I was so concerned with getting their approval, I didn't take care of myself. I let them take advantage of me and treat me poorly. I constantly felt like I had to earn their love.
Now, I'm entering into this relationship with Steve and balancing that with maintaining my sense of self. And I know now that I deserve to be treated with respect, just as I will treat others with respect. Steve is very easy-going and has been understanding of my push-pull and occasionally bumbling remarks. We each respect our individual time and our private time with our friends. And I think that makes the time we spend together that much sweeter.
Thursday, October 20, 2005
On the Mend
Thank you all for your sympathy. I'm happy to report I'm on the mend! Today, both sides of my mouth are feeling better, and I'm even able to chew soft foods on the crown side. Whew!
Yesterday was also a tough day because I didn't hear from Steve. It was VERY unusual. I had called him and left 2 voicemail messages Tuesday night. I was disappointed not to hear from him, but he had mentioned he was helping a friend. He's spoiled me with morning messages of "have a good day!" and Wednesday morning, there was no message. I emailed him once I got to work and didn't get a reply. By this time, as you can imagine, my mind is working overtime. Did I do something to anger him? Could he have been in an accident?
I sent him a text message as I was leaving work: "What's up? I haven't heard from you in 24 hours."
And he texted me back: "Home sick. Slept all day."
Poor guy had been vomiting, unable to keep any solid food down, and sleeping as much as possible. He, too, seems to be on the mend today.
Yesterday was also a tough day because I didn't hear from Steve. It was VERY unusual. I had called him and left 2 voicemail messages Tuesday night. I was disappointed not to hear from him, but he had mentioned he was helping a friend. He's spoiled me with morning messages of "have a good day!" and Wednesday morning, there was no message. I emailed him once I got to work and didn't get a reply. By this time, as you can imagine, my mind is working overtime. Did I do something to anger him? Could he have been in an accident?
I sent him a text message as I was leaving work: "What's up? I haven't heard from you in 24 hours."
And he texted me back: "Home sick. Slept all day."
Poor guy had been vomiting, unable to keep any solid food down, and sleeping as much as possible. He, too, seems to be on the mend today.
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Update to Earlier Post
The periodontist was a cold, unfeeling jerk, but I think he isolated the problem. I say he was cold and unfeeling because he didn't seem at all affected by the spontaneous tears running down my face while he poked at the affected area. I couldn't help it. It hurt SO badly. He finally pulled out this small piece of bone that he says was inside my gums. He figured it got caught between my tooth and gum and my body was trying to push it out the other side of the gum. So it had made its way halfway through and was causing much discomfort to the surrounding tissue.
He didn't think it was my bone, but more likely something I ate, and said hopefully I will heal in a couple days.
I hope so. Because if he tries that again, I'm going to insist on squeezing his testicles to let him know how much pain I'm experiencing.
He didn't think it was my bone, but more likely something I ate, and said hopefully I will heal in a couple days.
I hope so. Because if he tries that again, I'm going to insist on squeezing his testicles to let him know how much pain I'm experiencing.
Don't Mess with Me Today
Pain sucks. Especially when it's in your head. Especially when it's in your MOUTH and it hurts to eat. I feel like someone is imposing a no-eat diet on me. And I'm pissed (and hungry).
When I was in Pittsburgh last week, my mouth started hurting on the lower right side. When I got back home, I called and saw the dentist on Wednesday. He took x-rays and did a thorough exam and determined that it must be "just" an ulcer. He said to swish with warm salt water (yum!) and take Advil and it should clear up in 7-10 days.
TODAY IS DAY 10 AND IT STILL HURTS LIKE HELL.
Add to this the fact that the same dentist put in a crown on the lower left side on Monday. Now I can't really chew on either side of my mouth because it hurts too much.
The dentist made an appointment for me to see a periodontist today, so hopefully he can make this go away!
I'm not sleeping well because of the pain either. So now I'm tired, hurting, hungry and do I need to mention cranky?
When I was in Pittsburgh last week, my mouth started hurting on the lower right side. When I got back home, I called and saw the dentist on Wednesday. He took x-rays and did a thorough exam and determined that it must be "just" an ulcer. He said to swish with warm salt water (yum!) and take Advil and it should clear up in 7-10 days.
TODAY IS DAY 10 AND IT STILL HURTS LIKE HELL.
Add to this the fact that the same dentist put in a crown on the lower left side on Monday. Now I can't really chew on either side of my mouth because it hurts too much.
The dentist made an appointment for me to see a periodontist today, so hopefully he can make this go away!
I'm not sleeping well because of the pain either. So now I'm tired, hurting, hungry and do I need to mention cranky?
Monday, October 17, 2005
Heroes come in all forms
Between Cinderella, Snow White, and Sleeping Beauty, I grew up fantasizing about my white knight in shining armor riding up to rescue me. Reality, of course, crashes the fairytale, and you realize that a) you should be self-sufficient and not need "rescuing," and b) who wears armor these days? it's not all that sexy.
I'm pretty handy around the house, probably due to all the times I hung out watching my dad do things in the garage or backyard. I've installed a light fixture on a fan, textured and painted my kitchen and bathroom, stripped and refinished the cabinets on the bar, and even fixed a leak under the kitchen sink. (Thanks to technology, I took a picture of the pipe that was leaking and showed it to the helpful salesman at Home Depot, telling him, "I need THIS.")
However, I am pretty unprepared to do much else in the way of plumbing. It's one of those areas like engines that I don't understand and get anxious when things start going wrong.
On Saturday morning (yeah, I know, I should have written this earlier, but just relax and read the story, ok?) I went to the bathroom first thing as always. I noticed the bath mat in front of the toilet was SOAKED. I must admit, my first thought was my feline companion had confused the mat with her litter box, but even if she REALLY had to go, she couldn't soak the whole mat. Plus, it didn't smell like urine. (Cat urine has a distinctively apalling smell that is unmistakable and very difficult to eliminate.)
I spoke to Steve on the phone and mentioned the bath mat, and he suggested I turn off the water to that toilet and he would check it for me when he came over later. So I did that and later in the day used my other toilet.
It wouldn't flush. Instead, the water is rising up to the edge. Uh oh... This toilet has done that to me twice before (twice in 2 years isn't so bad, I think) so I grabbed the plunger and attacked the toilet. Unlike previous times, though, nothing was changing, and in fact, water started coming UP the neighboring tub!
I called my friend who's husband is a plumber, and she said she'd have him call me. Meanwhile, I checked the first toilet, and there was more water on the floor. I called Steve in a panic, and he came right over. He was there when my plumber friend called and was able to understand his instructions. He ended up fixing the clog by using my garden hose in the "clean out" pipe out front. It was very impressive! (And saved me money because I didn't have to pay a plumber to come out.)
I think better than a brave knight who can horseback ride is a guy who can fix things around the house.
I'm pretty handy around the house, probably due to all the times I hung out watching my dad do things in the garage or backyard. I've installed a light fixture on a fan, textured and painted my kitchen and bathroom, stripped and refinished the cabinets on the bar, and even fixed a leak under the kitchen sink. (Thanks to technology, I took a picture of the pipe that was leaking and showed it to the helpful salesman at Home Depot, telling him, "I need THIS.")
However, I am pretty unprepared to do much else in the way of plumbing. It's one of those areas like engines that I don't understand and get anxious when things start going wrong.
On Saturday morning (yeah, I know, I should have written this earlier, but just relax and read the story, ok?) I went to the bathroom first thing as always. I noticed the bath mat in front of the toilet was SOAKED. I must admit, my first thought was my feline companion had confused the mat with her litter box, but even if she REALLY had to go, she couldn't soak the whole mat. Plus, it didn't smell like urine. (Cat urine has a distinctively apalling smell that is unmistakable and very difficult to eliminate.)
I spoke to Steve on the phone and mentioned the bath mat, and he suggested I turn off the water to that toilet and he would check it for me when he came over later. So I did that and later in the day used my other toilet.
It wouldn't flush. Instead, the water is rising up to the edge. Uh oh... This toilet has done that to me twice before (twice in 2 years isn't so bad, I think) so I grabbed the plunger and attacked the toilet. Unlike previous times, though, nothing was changing, and in fact, water started coming UP the neighboring tub!
I called my friend who's husband is a plumber, and she said she'd have him call me. Meanwhile, I checked the first toilet, and there was more water on the floor. I called Steve in a panic, and he came right over. He was there when my plumber friend called and was able to understand his instructions. He ended up fixing the clog by using my garden hose in the "clean out" pipe out front. It was very impressive! (And saved me money because I didn't have to pay a plumber to come out.)
I think better than a brave knight who can horseback ride is a guy who can fix things around the house.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
May I Have this Dance?
To answer a comment posted by my sis Jenn last week about the fact that I'm not posting much because I'm dating Steve:
[smiling]
Maybe. Steve was out-of-town, travelling for work for almost a week, and when he came back into town last Thursday night, I didn't post Thursday, Friday, Saturday or Sunday. It's so nice to have someone to spend time with! We had a quiet dinner Thursday night, went out with friends of his on Friday night, went to a party for a friend of mine on Saturday night, and met my best friend for lunch on Sunday. Whew!
Steve is very sweet. He likes to drop me off at the airport and pick me up for my trips. It's very convenient for me, and it's nice to have someone waiting for you when you get home. I used to feel extra lonely when I travelled -- when you get to your destination, most people call someone at home to let them know you arrived. I would get there and wonder if anyone even knew I was out-of-town. As I was leaving, Steve said, "Call me when you get there and let me know you got there safely."
Last night, he called me and asked if I'd be interested in taking dancing lessons with him. How fun! I think it would be a blast, and as I'm sure my mom would say, it's a great opportunity to learn how he will react in a learning situation. We haven't determined what kind of dance yet, but I'm thinking maybe Salsa!
[smiling]
Maybe. Steve was out-of-town, travelling for work for almost a week, and when he came back into town last Thursday night, I didn't post Thursday, Friday, Saturday or Sunday. It's so nice to have someone to spend time with! We had a quiet dinner Thursday night, went out with friends of his on Friday night, went to a party for a friend of mine on Saturday night, and met my best friend for lunch on Sunday. Whew!
Steve is very sweet. He likes to drop me off at the airport and pick me up for my trips. It's very convenient for me, and it's nice to have someone waiting for you when you get home. I used to feel extra lonely when I travelled -- when you get to your destination, most people call someone at home to let them know you arrived. I would get there and wonder if anyone even knew I was out-of-town. As I was leaving, Steve said, "Call me when you get there and let me know you got there safely."
Last night, he called me and asked if I'd be interested in taking dancing lessons with him. How fun! I think it would be a blast, and as I'm sure my mom would say, it's a great opportunity to learn how he will react in a learning situation. We haven't determined what kind of dance yet, but I'm thinking maybe Salsa!
Monday, October 10, 2005
Worry? Who, Me?
In the past, I've been told (mainly by men who are probably scared of their own feelings) that I'm emotional. I prefer to say I'm passionate and empathetic, but at times, I will agree I may be a tad sappy. I'm in one of those phases right now.
You know it's bad when shopping for cards at Hallmark causes you to well up with tears, or watching the TV show House about a young girl with cancer causes a good bout of crying.
Work has been stressful lately, and hormones aren't helping the situation either. But as I was flying to Pittsburgh last night (I'm here for work for the next couple days), I was realizing how much of the "drama" in my life I create myself, or rather, how much of it is just in my head.
How often is it that we stress or worry over our perception of the way things are, only to discover later that we were wrong and there was nothing to worry about? I've had a couple of these lately, both personally and professionally, and I'm trying to take a step back and not spend so much energy worrying. As I once read, worrying is like rocking in a rocking chair. You expend a lot of energy, but you don't get anywhere.
You know it's bad when shopping for cards at Hallmark causes you to well up with tears, or watching the TV show House about a young girl with cancer causes a good bout of crying.
Work has been stressful lately, and hormones aren't helping the situation either. But as I was flying to Pittsburgh last night (I'm here for work for the next couple days), I was realizing how much of the "drama" in my life I create myself, or rather, how much of it is just in my head.
How often is it that we stress or worry over our perception of the way things are, only to discover later that we were wrong and there was nothing to worry about? I've had a couple of these lately, both personally and professionally, and I'm trying to take a step back and not spend so much energy worrying. As I once read, worrying is like rocking in a rocking chair. You expend a lot of energy, but you don't get anywhere.
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
Getting the Last Laugh
Oh, sweet victory.
Remember the guy who said he had a problem with the fact that I'd been married before, even though he knew that before we went on 3 dates? (See Leave the Past in the Past) Well, he just called!
"Remember me?"
Why, yes, I do.
"Well, we haven't spoken in awhile, but I wanted to call and see how you were doing."
I'm doing really well. In fact, I recently started dating this GREAT guy...
"Oh. Gee, that's great. Well, if things change, give me a call."
Ha! You wish!
(Actually, I think I said something, like: well, thanks for calling!)
Remember the guy who said he had a problem with the fact that I'd been married before, even though he knew that before we went on 3 dates? (See Leave the Past in the Past) Well, he just called!
"Remember me?"
Why, yes, I do.
"Well, we haven't spoken in awhile, but I wanted to call and see how you were doing."
I'm doing really well. In fact, I recently started dating this GREAT guy...
"Oh. Gee, that's great. Well, if things change, give me a call."
Ha! You wish!
(Actually, I think I said something, like: well, thanks for calling!)
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