Life of a 30-Something

A Bachelor's Fridge

2011-08-03T22:37:00.002-04:00

I know...I suck as a blogger lately. It's freakishly hot here in Texas. The heat has zapped my energy and inspiration. And since I hole up and try to stay out of the extreme weather, it's not very conducive to meeting new potential dates.

This week, I'm out of town, staying with my recently divorced uncle, who had some orthopedic surgery. He's still in the hospital tonight (surgery went very well), and since I know there is a hope or possibly an expectation that I will take over the cooking duties while I'm around, I went through to see what I'm working with. Here's a sampling of what I found:
* almost all the condiments you could need
* 4, yes 4 bags of grated "mexican cheese" - this is one of those repeat purchases. You know, every time you go to the grocery store, you think, oh yeah, I'll get one of those. Not remembering you already have one (or more) at home!
* several cans of chicken and beef broth
* a couple apples
* very ripe bananas (I'm thinking banana bread...although there's no flour or sugar yet)
* 6 yellow onions
* much meat in the freezer

I'm sure if one of my sisters looked through my bachelorette fridge, it would also be eye-opening about what's there, and what's not. It just made me laugh to see how much of some items he had, while completely lacking in others.

Tri it

2011-06-12T12:22:00.002-04:00

I haven't been a very good blogger lately. What can I say? I have had ideas for topics to write about, but either they are too personal -- and I don't want them out there on the world wide web -- or they're about topics that I'm not ready to talk about yet. Sometimes, it's best just to keep your mouth (and keyboard) shut.

I haven't had any dates lately, since the way-too-young-for-me guy. But most of the time, I don't miss it. My life is full with good stuff. I spend my free time with friends, family, or exercising. I've been reading lots of great books that stimulate my mind, and I'm still travelling quite a bit for work, which exposes me to different cities and some great restaurants.

I finished my fifth Danskin triathlon last weekend, beating my previous time by a couple minutes. I was pleased with that. I trained harder than ever before for this one, and my only regret was that I had a massive muscle spasm (in my abdominals, of all places!) on the run, which slowed me down tremendously. I think it was due to not taking in enough electrolytes. I've got another tri next weekend, again in the Texas heat, so my plan is to load up on the electrolytes. The course next weekend is easier than the Danskin, with less hills, and there's less people, meaning we should finish sooner in the day before it gets too unbearably hot.

Some people ask me, why do you do triathlons? I admit, it is a bit daunting, and years ago, I never would have ever thought I would do one, let alone five or six. But that's exactly why I do keep doing them. It's a reminder to me that I can do something I never thought I could. And if I can do this...what else can I do? The possibilities are endless...!

As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "You must do the thing you think you cannot do."

Right Now

2011-05-25T15:36:00.002-04:00

I'm supposed to be in Chicago right now. But I'm still in Austin.

I went to the airport as scheduled early early this morning to learn once I got there that the flight was delayed 1.5 hours. So I got some breakfast and settled in, even took a cat nap in the uncomfortable lounge area. When I woke, I learned the flight was delayed another hour. And then another. And then ANOTHER. There were multiple reasons given: there were tornados in the Dallas area last night, keeping flights from coming into Texas, there was a hail storm in Austin this morning, damaging some aircraft, and our flight crew was MIA.

Eventually, it got to the point where I wouldn't be getting into Chicago until the end of the day, missing all the meetings I had scheduled. Tomorrow's day was already truncated, with the plan to head back to the airport around mid-day. It didn't seem worth it to go all the way up there for a half day of meetings, so I asked for the credit for the flight and headed into the office here.

When I lived in NY, I heard so many NYers stories of where they were on 9-11-01. There were several near misses -- people missed their train or bus, a child was sick or something else kept them from showing up to the World Trade Center building on time. It reminds me that we don't have the overall picture. While the horror and tragedies that occurred that day are still hard to comprehend, those near misses make me think that sometimes, we aren't supposed to make that plane, or we're supposed to be in traffic.

What if you're exactly where you're supposed to be RIGHT NOW.

It's My Birthday

2011-05-24T15:09:00.002-04:00

Just enjoying the day, which started with a 6:30 a.m. bike ride. I am NOT a morning person, but the endorphins from exercise do make for a nice start to the day.

Had lunch with a dear friend, who brought me a balloon. :-) It's a red, helium-filled balloon, and it makes me feel like a kid again!

My coworkers got me cupcakes, and I'm looking forward to dinner with my sister, niece & nephew tonight at a Japanese hibachi restaurant.

And I'm also looking forward to the year ahead! Exciting things in the works...

I've Still Got "It"

2011-05-15T20:50:00.002-04:00

Although 40 is looming like a dark storm on the horizon, apparently, I don't look it.

When I was leaving in Honduras from vacation, I struck up a conversation with two guys in the exit tax line. When they heard I was going to Austin, they asked if I was in school at the university here. I laughed and said no, explaining I was a BIT older than that.

And then getting asked out on a date this week...I knew he was younger than me. I just didn't know he was THAT much younger. Ah, well. We had a nice time. He's mature, and we had a great conversation. So I accepted his invitation to dinner on Friday, too. It's hard not to like the attention from a younger guy.

A Date!

2011-05-10T23:11:00.002-04:00

I have a date tomorrow! It's just drinks, but after such a long dry spell, it's pretty exciting.

I went to a friend's party a couple months ago. Many of his gay friends were there, and I enjoyed talking to everyone I met. It was a great party! Towards the end of the night, I was talking to one of the few straight guys there. I didn't think much of it -- he's younger than me -- but we had a good conversation (although I can't remember about what now). He did ask for my phone number, but I forgot about it.

And then he sent me a text message, saying "I'm not sure if you remember me, though I definitely remember you." and asking if I wanted to go out for drinks. So, we are. Tomorrow.

Ahh...

2011-04-27T21:45:00.006-04:00

What a relaxing vacation! The resort we stayed at on Roatan was remote and sparsely populated. I had lots of time to catch up on reading, listen to the ocean and experiment with my camera (I recently took a photography class and learned a bit more about it). It was all very refreshing.

I enjoyed taking pictures of the different creatures we saw as well, and Kelley and I sat at the table by the hummingbird feeder every meal we could. At night, the bats would come and finish off any sugar water the birds had left.

And I was thrilled to get to meet the little girl at the local orphanage that I am mentoring through an Austin-based non-profit.

We also enjoyed snorkeling -- so many different fish! -- kayaking, and enjoying the sunsets.

Cuidad de Mexico

2011-04-17T21:55:00.002-04:00

Just a quick post from my quick visit to Cuidad de Mexico. I arrived here yesterday to meet up with my cousin Kelley who has been living as an ex-pat here for three years. We had a lovely dinner last night in a local restaurant, although we had difficulty talking over the tremendous storm. The "rainy season" just began, which usually entails 2-3 hours of rain in the late afternoon. Last night was the storm to end all storms, beginning with a clap of thunder that nearly had me diving under the table. I swear, it sounded like a bomb had just leveled a nearby building. After the thunder, it proceeded to POUR down small hail for at least an hour. Rain was also coming down in torrents. We took our time through our meal and hung out until the rain was just a drizzle. Walking back to my cousin's place, we watched people sweeping the hail off the sidewalk.

Today, we headed to the center of town and toured the national palace, where the president still works. To celebrate Mexico's 200th year of being a country, there are several exhibits in the palace, including one on the history of the country and another which features the bones of the heroes of the revolution. Yep, we got to see bones. The bones haven't always been well taken care of, but in honor of the anniversary, they were restored as much as possible and presented to the public for viewing. Each hero is honored by a small chest which is partially open (all encased in glass). By the small opening, you can identify some bones -- in some cases, a skull, in others, a vertebrae or rib. I thought I would be weirded out, but the scientist part of me took over and just had fun identifying the bones. At one point, I said to my cousin, "here's a femur!"

The national palace is also adorned with incredible murals by Diego Rivera. I took many pictures, the best of which I'll share once I'm home. There were also different policia, army and some guys in ninja-turtle-like armor. We had to go through a cursory screening to get in (no fee), and they took away our pens. I figured it was a small price to pay for all we saw.

Tomorrow morning, we leave uber-early to the airport to fly to El Salvador and then on to Roatan, Honduras. I don't know if I'll have internet access, so the next post may be after I return home.

Dating?

2011-04-11T12:03:00.002-04:00

People keep asking me if I'm dating. My response is, "I'm open to it!" I just haven't had any opportunities, but sure, I would like to go out. Not dating makes for a very boring blog, I know. My life right now is full of work, family time, work, travel for work, studying & homework, and training for the triathlon. I honestly don't know when I'd fit in a date anyway. For the past two Friday nights, I've scheduled sessions with my trainer. At least the gym is pretty empty on Friday nights! I was talking to a friend who is having some complicated relationship issues, and I sighed with relief that I don't have to deal with that. I've had my share of drama with boys, and I'm thankful not to have that in my life. And then recently a smug-in-a-happy-relationship friend asked me if I'm lonely. I answered honestly -- yes, sometimes, but I'm also enjoying my life as it is -- but she persisted, "But doesn't it get SO LONELY?" It got to me, making me focus on the lack instead of the abundance I have. I know part of me is fiercely independent. I don't want to be dependent on anyone for anything, but the truth is, we all need other people in our lives. Is it possible to have a relationship without dependence? I guess until I reconcile this in my head, it's best that I just focus on me.

Sweet Girl

2011-04-04T21:58:00.004-04:00

Weekend before last, we celebrated my niece Anna's 10th birthday. Her parents and I reminisced about the day she was born and how the decade has gone by so quickly. She is such a sweet, caring girl. She's super smart and creative in many ways. And she just has a radiance about her that makes it seem like the sun is shining when she smiles.

She debated over her party this year. Options abounded: a sleepover? a spa party? Olympic-theme? But she decided on a Mystery party, and as usual, her mom organized a great event. The games culminated in a mystery about "who stole the cake." Clues were hidden around the playground in a scavenger hunt style, and the clues pointed to one of the party guests. All the sleuths were in the dark until they began fingerprinting the guests to match the print with one recovered "at the scene." And then it came out: it was me! Anna took it so seriously, she asked me later, "Why did you steal the cake?" Of course, I hadn't really -- and it was always just at the house waiting for the proper unveiling -- but it was cute how she had gotten so wrapped up in the game.

And the cake! OMG, have we been feasting. Bro-in-law Anthony made the party cake -- in the shape of a magnifying glass. The actual day of Anna's birthday, I made cupcakes and took them to school. And that night, we had an INCREDIBLE chocolate cake that IS TO DIE FOR. (I'm actually craving it again tonight.) It's a good thing I'm in high gear with triathlon training, because it's been a lot of sugar!

Kitchen Duty

2011-04-01T17:51:00.002-04:00

When I was assigned kitchen duty for the week at work, I'll admit I first grumbled to myself. After all, I rarely use the kitchen. I occasionally make a cup of tea, and afterwards put my cup in the dishwasher. I have extremely infrequently brought my lunch and used the refridgerator. I don't really use the dishes, other than the occasional mug, and I have even loaded others' abandoned dishes that were left in the sink into the dishwasher. Apparently, not everyone was doing this -- or even at the least, cleaning up after themselves -- and we got a calendar with weekly assignments of kitchen duty. We have a small office here, and I still am grateful my company allowed me to move from NYC to Austin, so I didn't grumble publicly. This week was my week. I like to approach life and situations with two values in mind: I try to leave things better than I found them (or at the least, not worse), and I do my best when I take on an assignment. This is the way I was raised. Monday through Thursday: not a big deal. I ran the dishwasher a couple times and emptied it. Wiped off the counters. Friday: on the list of tasks to do is clean out the fridge and microwave. This is supposed to happen EACH FRIDAY. Yeah, right. The microwave had stuck-on food that had to be scrubbed off. I don't think anyone has ever cleaned that thing. I used bleach wipes and washed my hands afterwards. And then I opened the fridge. Cleaning up after other people like this really gives you a whole new opinion of them. There were plastic bags with containers of food that had mostly been consumed and what was left was dried up and shrunken. There were condiments that expired 6 months ago. And there were some really interesting science experiments going on in there, mold of various color and shape. Again I used bleach wipes and washed my hands afterwards. It is definitely in MUCH better shape than when I entered.

Holding On vs. Letting Go

2011-03-24T22:29:00.003-04:00

The other day, as I was slowly entering the highway in rush-hour traffic, I noticed a fly on my windshield. He had landed while I was at the stoplight, and as I accelerated, he tried valiantly to hold on. His body was pushed towards the roof of the car as his little legs gripped with all their might to the windshield. Realizing the inevitable, I found myself thinking, "Just let go!"

And then I thought, how often do we cling to something we know rather than let go and enter the unknown possibilities in the future? I know I have.

We are created as "creatures of habit." We like routines. They are predictable, dependable. They bring order to our lives. But life ALWAYS throws us curve balls, things that rock our foundation and make us wonder about how we define ourselves.

The only constant in this world is change. Intellectually, I know this. But still, some part of me wants to hold on -- hold on to the sweetness of a child's laughter, hold on to the shared camaraderie with a colleague as we work on an assignment, hold on to the excitement of a new flirtation. But the child grows up and the relationship changes, the colleague moves on to a can't-pass-up opportunity, the flirtation evolves into something more or dissolves into nothing.

It's impossible to hold on to those moments. They are all fleeting. And I'm learning that to truly enjoy the moment, we have to also let go of our fears of the future when the moment is gone, and embrace whatever comes next.

Duathlon

2011-03-14T22:01:00.001-04:00

As a warm-up to my annual triathlon in June, I agreed to join a friend of mine in a duathlon a couple weekends ago: 2K run, 10 mi bike, 2K run. It was her first ever event like this, and days before the event, she called and said she'd learned that participants can do it in a relay with one person doing the running and one doing the biking. I considered her suggestion -- for maybe 30 seconds -- but I had been training for both and really wanted to do both. She found another friend to share the race with, and they got second place in the relay group!

I was pleased to see my running pace has sped up from last year, no doubt due to the extra training and the expert advice I've been getting from my ultra-fit-marathoner-triathlete personal trainer. (I love her, but she kicks my ass...in a good way.) But I was a little frustrated with my overall time and that my bike time wasn't faster. Always room for improvement, and I still have several months until the tri.

Parisian Reflection

2011-03-08T21:14:00.000-05:00

I had a lot of time to myself while in Paris, and reminiscent of my early days in NYC, I spent hours walking the streets and taking in the views of the architecture, people and monuments. Unfortunately, it rained most of the time I was there and I came down with a cold, but I didn't let that stop me. I took the subway to different areas and walked most of the day, stopping occasionally for a crepe with Nutella or a quiche with salad. I loved it, but my legs and feet ached at the end of the day!

A Night Out in Paris

2011-03-07T21:01:00.000-05:00

When my friend Irish Parisienne asked what I wanted to do while I was in Paris, I told her, dancing! She organized the evening with some friends, some of whom I had met at New Year's, and we hit a club. Paris nightlife is like NYC's -- starting the evening around 11 p.m. -- and the drinks were appallingly expensive. The music was eclectic, but most of it was dance-able. We had a fun time!

French Farmers' Market

2011-03-06T21:50:00.002-05:00

One of my favorite mornings in Paris was spent wandering through the local farmers' market. The amounts and variety of food was amazing, and I just had to take a picture of the lingerie booth...not something we have in our markets in the U.S.!

Just Breathe

2011-03-01T22:47:00.002-05:00

I'm finally back on my current time zone. I had a tough time while in Paris, waking up most nights for an hour or two. And returning stateside, I was in Austin for less than 12 hours to unpack and repack for a business trip to Seattle. I was completely jetlagged in Seattle, and the project demanded overtime. I did get one evening with my aunt, uncle, cousin and her new fiance, which was very enjoyable. And then as soon as I landed in Austin, I was off to ballet practice to pick up niece & nephew, Anna & Colin. I stayed with them for the weekend while my sister and bro-in-law had a weekend away with friends.

Whew! Catching my breath now, enjoying snuggling with my cat and sleeping in my own bed.

I haven't yet downloaded the pics from Paris. Will do soon...

Paris, Revisited

2011-02-21T10:27:00.002-05:00

Paris is gorgeous, as always, but the weather has been drippy gray and I've been slowed by a cold. As usual, I've been pushing myself to go-go-go, and I'm quite exhausted. Yesterday and today, I walked and walked, taking pictures of buildings and scenes that caught my fancy, stopping to eat when I got hungry, and seeing as much as possible. The people I've met have been very forgiving with my French, and the food has been divine.

The apartment I'm renting has a computer (awesome!) with a French keyboard (frustrating). It's mostly similar to an English one, but has a few differences that slow me tremendously and force me to "hunt and peck." If I were to type as I usually do, here's how this paragraph would turn out:

The qpqrt,ent Iù, renting hqs q co,puter 9qzeso,e1à zith q French keyboqrd 9frustrqting0: Itùs ,ostly si,ilqr to qn English one; but hqs q fez differences thqt sloz ,e tre,endously qnd force ,e to hunt qnd peck: If I zere to type qs I usuqlly do, hereùs hoz this pqrqgrqph zould turn out:

So, this post will be short! :-) I look forward to sharing pictures when I get back stateside.

Travel Time

2011-02-15T23:34:00.002-05:00

It's been a relatively quiet 6 weeks so far in 2011 with only a couple brief trips. But the next couple weeks will be on the road. Tomorrow, I go up to Chicago for the day. This means a 6:30 a.m. flight out and coming back around 10 p.m. A very long day.

On Thursday, I leave for Paris. Yep, going back again! I just love that city, as well as my friends there. I'm looking forward to a few days off and just enjoying everything Paris has to offer.

I get back on a Tuesday evening, and take a 7:00 a.m. flight out the next day to Seattle for work. I'll only be there a couple days, and I wish I could stay the weekend to visit my family up there, but I've already committed to staying with my niece & nephew, Anna & Colin, while their parents have a weekend getaway.

And then it will be March! Does anyone else feel like time is flying by as if we're on a rollercoaster? I'm enjoying the ride, though!

Keeping Fit

2011-02-13T23:26:00.002-05:00

When I joined the gym, I got some "gym bucks" that you can choose to spend on a variety of activities. I chose to use all of mine for some sessions with a personal trainer. And she's kicking my butt! (in a good way)

She's a triathlete, too, and has already given me suggestions on how to improve my time. (My goal each year is just to beat my previous time, and so far, each year I've done that.) I also told her I wanted to tone up in general. And I may have mentioned I don't like my upper arms...hence the incredible arm workouts she has added to the cardio and strength training.

Most days, some muscle group feels a bit sore. But overall, I feel so much stronger, have more energy and am sleeping like a rock. It's great!

My gym workouts are also supplemented by my sister's Bollywood aerobic class on Sunday nights, too. I'm feeling stronger (and more confident with the steps) there, too, and it's fun!

Celebrating Victories

2011-02-05T23:49:00.002-05:00

I went on a hike/walk today. That may not seem like a big accomplishment, and normally, since I consider myself in training for my next triathlon, it's not to me. But I got felled by a nasty case of food poisoning this week, and it knocked the...well, everything out of me. I'm rebuilding slowly, and today was the first day I felt a little stronger. So the walk felt especially precious, and I enjoyed it immensely.

As I walked along the uneven path, I couldn't help but think about how similar it is to life in general. Some really rough patches, but some easy and smooth. Sometimes there were others on the path with me, and sometimes I was all alone. At one point, while I was alone, I came to the end of the path. I looked up and down but couldn't find where the path went. It seemed to have disappeared. I decided to cross over what looked like a dried up river bed, and it was challenging to walk over the rocks set in different angles. I got to the other side, and I found a new path open up to me. I smiled and thought how that has happened in my life so many times. Just when I think the path has disappeared completely, I find a new path.

Ten years ago, I was recovering from my second divorce. Part of that recovery included filing for backruptcy. Part of the debt was truly mine, and part of it was from each of my exes. All of it was overwhelming. But filing for bankruptcy wasn't easy. It affects your credit rating for seven years, but it stays on your record for ten. During that first seven years, there were many times when I was travelling for work and was expected to cover my expenses, filing an expense report afterwards for reimbursement. I had a credit card with a $300 limit, which doesn't go far when you're travelling often or to large cities. More than once I relied on my colleagues to help, but that meant explaining to them why I needed the help. It was a humbling experience, but it guaranteed that I wouldn't make the same mistakes again. I built up a positive credit rating slowly, and learned how to live within my means.

And this month marks the 10 year anniversary when it will be off my record for good. I am proud of what I have accomplished. And I'm really glad that's over! On to the next path...

When You'll Meet "the One"

2011-02-05T00:11:00.004-05:00

I watched an indie movie tonight called "Timer." It's set in the future, when a technology has been developed that allows you to know when you will meet your soul mate. People get a timer implanted into their wrist, and when their soul mate also has a timer, it provides you with a countdown -- the days, hours and minutes until you'll meet -- and both people's timers beep when you meet "the one."

Would you want to know?

Some characters in the movie want to fall in love "the old fashioned way" and refuse timers. The heroine goes for most of her life with a blank timer, meaning her soul mate hasn't gotten one, and she drags numerous guys in to the store to get their timers, only to discover they aren't her "one."

It's an interesting premise for a movie. And it sets up some interesting situations. If you know you won't meet anyone for years, what do you do with your time until then? Do you get a lot accomplished, such as degrees or marathons? Do you "save yourself" for the one or enjoy the people you meet in your life and live in the moment?

I think I would want to know, even if I was disappointed with the answer.

What Happened to January?

2011-01-31T14:01:00.007-05:00

I feel like this month just disappeared somehow...I can't believe it's already over. Guess I've been keeping busy, so here's a random assortment of thoughts and activities:

At the gym: Although I love the amenities, I've always been shy about changing in public. (And yes, it's women-only in the dressing room, but it still reminds me of junior high days when everyone was looking at and comparing to each others' bodies.) Some women have NO issue with this however, and quite a few I would suspect are exhibitionists. I politely keep my eyes averted, but I couldn't help overhear a conversation between two young moms where one showed off her boob job. Really?! I guess she was proud of the work and maybe had to justify the cost to herself by getting external approval.

On the learning front: I'm taking a tele-course by Martha Beck, best-selling author and life coach, and I'm LOVING it. Of course, there's quite a bit of homework to factor into my busy weeks, but I'm learning so much about myself and gaining new perspectives. More to come on this.

On life and death: A friend and former colleague of mine passed away last week after a hard battle with pancreatic cancer. He was just 41 and was diagnosed just after his wedding 6 months ago. Ray was one of those energetic, charismatic people that draws people to them, and although I am saddened by his death at such a young age, I truly admire how he lived his life.

On crazy Texas weather: We had a beautiful, spring-like weekend. It was unbelievably warm and sunny. But in just a few short days, we will be hit with another winter storm. The extremes are amazing, so I had to share a iPhone visual for those who won't be here to experience it in person (and I've included the Celsius version for my European fans):

On creativity: One of my colleagues is pregnant with her first, a baby girl, and she has been one of the most welcoming to me on my transition to the Austin office. I enjoyed making her a baby quilt (this pic was taken in progress), and her reaction to it was truly touching.

So next up: February! More winter weather, travel, personal victories to celebrate...2011 is off to a roaring start.

And with my Chinese food lunch, my fortune is "A lifetime of happiness lies ahead of you." I believe that's true. :-)

Hitting the Gym

2011-01-19T00:09:00.003-05:00

I joined a new gym. It is Texas-sized HUGE! The facility is really impressive with so many classes, equipment and things to do. It's close to my place, and I'm enjoying going. Being January, I start to think about my triathlon in June -- just five months away! So I have to ramp up my exercise program to get ready.

I've been finding it's not too difficult to motivate myself to go. Partially it's because there is a lot of eye candy (although not everyone is perfect, so I don't feel intimidated), but I'm also drawn to the steam room. I LOVE IT!

I think I might need a steam room in my dream home...

Some are Gold

2011-01-16T15:18:00.002-05:00

Anyone else remember this song from Girl Scout days?

"Make new friends, but keep the old,

Some are silver and the other gold."

I had an amazing time visiting with some great friends yesterday. First, I flew up to Dallas for a few hours to reunite with my gal pals and have our belated Christmas Lunch Bunch. One of them said we've been doing this for 13 years or so now, and because of my insane travel schedule in December, I had to push it to January. But we wished each other a merry Christmas anyway and had a lovely time visiting and catching up. It's always interesting to me to hear what everyone is doing with each at different stages of our lives: one is actively raising 3 little ones while another is about to send her second to college and one is about to get married (time for a shower to celebrate!). Lots of joy, and I value our strong friendship bonds.

Facebook is great to catch up with people from years past. Of course, there's always the ones I don't remember (we went to high school together? And you remember that?), but many people I've enjoyed catching up with and seeing what they are up to now. One former colleague who actually did go to high school with me (although we didn't know each other then), emailed to ask if we could get together while she and her husband were in Austin this weekend. So after landing, I met up with them for dinner. We had a great visit and caught some live music that Austin is so famous for on 6th Street. I got home after midnight with a full heart.

The Rest of Paris

2011-01-10T21:58:00.005-05:00

Belated, I know, but here's a quick summary of the rest of my amazing trip to Paris.

Irish Parisienne and the French Guy both had to work come Monday, so I was free to do my own thing. I started most days with a walk down to the bakery to grab a croissant and a coffee. My bits of the French language improved each day, but I was still limited to "This please" and "Merci!" However, seeing as I didn't go hungry, I guess I did fine.

I decided to do some shopping on Monday, and IP met me later that afternoon for a movie. I find the Metro system easy to navigate in Paris (probably learned behavior from my years in NYC), and I'm good with maps. IP told me to meet her outside Saint Eustache Church, by the statue of the head in a hand. Her description was perfect, and as I sat near the statue waiting for her, a bum came up and asked me something in French. I politely explained I didn't understand (one of my key learned phrases), to which he angrily asked something like "you don't speak French?" in French. I said No, and he threw his hands out to the sides and asked, "Cigarette?" As a devout non-smoker, I had to again say No, and he walked off in a huff. I was so tickled by the interchange, and had to suppress more giggles later when he walked by and looked at me withcontempt again later.

After our movie, IP went home to do some more work, and I met French Guy for dinner. It was lovely. We ate at a typical brasserie, and I had a delicious roast chicken with mashed potatoes and French wine. Afterwards, we went by the Eiffel Tower so I could get an obligatory picture.

Tuesday was my last day, and I went to the Musee d'Orsay. Monet is my favorite, and I had been told they had the most of his pieces. I decided to save his work for the end, and I really enjoyed the sculptures. When I got to the Monet section, I was horrified to find a paltry four or five pieces with a sign saying the majority had been leant to the Musee National Grand Palais. I looked it up and took the subway over there, just to learn they were closing the exhibit at 2:00, precisely the time I had arrived. I was very disappointed.

Later, I met up with IP again and did a little more shopping (where we both bought the same dress, even in the same size!), and we stopped for a Kir Royale. We had a lovely dinner together. It's so easy spending time with her. She is definitely a soul-mate kind of friend.

French Guy offered to take me to the airport the next morning, which was sweet and very helpful. We arrived extra early to accommodate for any morning traffic, and after checking me in, we grabbed a coffee and croissant. Then the police started moving everyone back away from the eating area. At first, it just seemed annoying. We could hear announcements that a woman had left a bag unattended. They continued to move us back across the terminal, and we heard a loud BOOM that made me scream (and French Guy jumped), which was probably the police and security blowing up the bag. I was also getting nervous as the clocked ticked by because I still had to get through security. French Guy was sweet and gave me lots of kisses and hugs, saying this was his "best New Year's ever. And January 1, and January 3..." I didn't want to leave.

Since being home, I have emailed with him and asked if I could see him again. While some of my friends expressed some dislike when learning he's Jewish, it didn't bother me, but ironically, my not being Jewish is why he won't consider me as anything more. Rejection is never easy, but I wasn't that invested. And we'll always have Paris...

A Day in the French Countryside

2011-01-04T03:39:00.003-05:00

(Well, maybe that's stretching it a bit. We were in a Parisian suburb, though.)

Irish Parisienne got an invitation to a friend's for lunch on Sunday, and they graciously extended the offer to me as well. Her friend is an Irish artist who married a French woman. They were absolutely lovely. She made a fantastic feast for us -- vegetarian in respect for I.P. -- and I was surprised by all the courses! First, there was miso soup, followed by roast vegetables and a stew made with eggplant, tomatoes and chick peas. I thought this was it and was completely satisfied. Then she brought out salad and cheeses (blue and brie), and finally an apple dessert made with hazelnut flour with coffee and tea. It was all so delicious, but I didn't have to eat again for the rest of the day!

After the meal, I took a walk with the two Irish, and we saw this beautiful chateau:

The time is flying by too quickly.

A Most Unusual First Date, and then some

2011-01-02T13:22:00.007-05:00

A couple weeks ago, I got an email from a friend in NY asking if I was going to be in Austin as he was thinking of visiting a warmer climate. I replied yes, I would be in Austin until my trip to Paris. That piqued his attention, and he asked if I was travelling with anyone. I explained I was going on my own to visit my friend Irish Parisienne, and he asked if he could join me, admitting it was a crazy request. (This is all over email.) I agreed it was a crazy request, especially since we had never even gone on a first date! So he proposed coming to Austin, taking me out on a date or two, and if it went well, accompanying me to Paris, at least for a couple days. I said that sounded okay, but then when he went to book his flights, he realized if he didn't book all the cities at once, he would have unused tickets so he just decided to do the whole thing. I felt a bit pressured at this, but I didn't say anything other than to insist that he not "expect" anything from me and that getting his own accommodations was a requirement.

We had a couple dates in Austin as we had planned. He's very intelligent and I enjoyed showing him around a bit, but I didn't feel anything when he kissed me. (Just pecks, nothing sloppy.)

When we arrived in Paris, I was predictably jet-lagged and not wanting to do much sight-seeing the first day here. (I knew this would be the case and had explained that to him, however, since he was only here for 2 days -- had to get back for work -- he was eager to pack in as much as possible.) Things got a little tense, but we split up and did our own things.

The one thing the NYer really wanted to do while in Paris was Disneyland, so we spent the majority of New Year's Eve day there at the park. (See pictures below.) That night, Irish Parisienne got us invited along to a party of a friend's for New Year's Eve, and we arrived with our obligatory 10 Euros for food and a bottle of champagne each. It was a great party, and the Parisians were friendly and spoke English fluently. We drank much champagne, feasted on smoked salmon and other hors-d'ouvers and danced to American music. And then I kissed a Frenchman.

I think that pretty much took care of having to explain to the NYer that I wasn't interested in him as more than a friend. I did feel bad that I hadn't had "the talk" with him prior to that, and to be honest, I guess I chickened out. However, I didn't plan on kissing another guy, it just happened. (He was cute and nice and we just clicked.) Anyway...a bit of drama. More drama was involved as there was a French girl at the party who has quite a crush on the French guy I kissed. But said French guy insisted he isn't interested in her and only thinks of her as a friend, so something like this was bound to happen.

The NYer was very good about the whole thing. I apologized, but he said "no worries." He left New Year's day to go back to NYC as planned.

And me? I got a cute new Frenchman to show me around and take me to lunch on New Year's Day.

Disneyland Paris

2010-12-31T11:38:00.004-05:00

What better way to spend a day in Paris then to go to Disneyland! Okay, not really my first choice, but a friend wanted to go. (I still have to explain this friend, but now I must rest a bit before going to a New Year's party.)

So here's a few pics to tide you over:

Paris!

2010-12-30T17:46:00.002-05:00

I'm in Paris! A couple months ago, I got an email from Delta about their fare sales, and I wrote to my girlfriend Irish Parisienne who lives here. When she said she would be around for New Year's, I booked the trip.

Irish Parisienne and I met through our blogs, and we estimate we've been reading and commenting on each other's dating odysseys for 3-4 years. When I met her in person back in April (my first ever trip to the City of Lights), we instantly clicked and solidified our friendship. Since then, she's been encouraging me to come back, and as I find New Year's Eve depressing on my own, I decided this was a good occasion.

Today, being my first day here, was a bit rough from the jet lag. Although I got a few hours sleep on the plane, it always catches up to me my first day here. I'm renting a lovely little studio apartment from a friend of IP's, and the comfy bed and shuttered windows were ideal for an afternoon nap.

Every meal I've eaten in Paris has been delicious, and today was no exception. For lunch, I had a quiche lorraine, and dinner was exquisite: pumpkin soup with a creamy blue cheese for starters, and beef tenderloin cooked to medium perfection with baby potatoes and a scrumptious wine reduction gravy. And French wine, of course!

Now it's off to bed for me. I'm too tired to tell you the rest of the story, but there's more... :-)

A Lovely Holiday

2010-12-28T22:38:00.005-05:00

Christmas definitely snuck up on me this year, but I finally managed to finish all my shopping and get my gifts wrapped just in time. (Although my cards went out just two days before Christmas, so most people are just now getting them! Those of you in England should get them by next week, I hope.)

Here are a few pictures to cherish the memories:

This one the kids called "the sandwich." Nana decided to join in on the fun.

A three-generation hug:

Decorations, Texas style:

Colin as one of the wise men and Anna in the background as Mary in the church pageant:

Nana taking advantage of the mistletoe:

A brisk walk to burn off some of the Christmas calories:

Disconnected

2010-12-22T23:07:00.002-05:00

Despite my last post title, it's difficult for me to believe that Christmas is just days away. Maybe it's because this year my December has mostly been spent on the road, on planes and in airports. I just have a sense of disconnectedness...

My parents arrive tomorrow, and we get out of work early. Maybe that will make it feel more like Christmas!

Getting in the Christmas Spirit

2010-12-19T23:26:00.004-05:00

My sister Steph hosts a beautiful Christmas tea every year, and it's a wonderful occasion to dress up and enjoy some champagne while catching up with family and friends. This year was bittersweet as Steph and her family have moved to California as of last week, but before she left Houston, she put on a fantastic fete with amazing food, a string quartet, a harp, and beautiful decorations. Here are some pictures from the day.

Abandoned, but only temporarily

2010-12-18T12:02:00.002-05:00

No, I haven't given up on the blog. I just haven't had time or energy to write. I've been working an insane amount -- work/life balance what? -- and since I don't write about work and haven't been doing much else or had time to do much else...the blog suffered.

Beginning with the second week of November and on through December, I've travelled every week except the week of Thanksgiving and now this coming week, the week of Christmas. While business travel sounds interesting to those who enjoy travel and don't do it for work, it is actually quite draining and you see very little of the places you visit. I generally end up working more hours on the road, since I don't have my recorded shows or family or friends to catch up with in the evenings, and lately, I've had to work until the wee hours just to keep up with the overwhelming workload.

Where've I been? Chicago three or four times, Boston twice, NYC twice (forgive me, jman, I didn't have time to catch a drink), Indianapolis and Houston once each. I've reestablished my priority status on at least one airline carrier, and I've also racked up my loyalty programs with hotels and rental cars. And I'm exhausted.

Meanwhile, as readers of my sister's blog will know, my longtime companion -- my 17-year-old cat Sabrina -- broke her leg Thanksgiving night. I'm still not sure exactly how it happened, but I think she was startled and bumped into her water bowl and then slipped on the tile. The result was a break in her femur, which required surgery. It was extremely stressful for her, and pretty darn stressful for me, too. The worst was having to leave her for two weeks after her surgery. Thank God for my sister Dr. Jenn and her caring staff. We kept her in a kennel at the clinic, even though the clinic doesn't do boarding anymore, and that helped to keep her calm and still and allow the bone to begin to heal. For the last week, she's been recuperating at home with a petsitter visiting daily. And she's starting to use the leg a bit and is happily purring beside me as I write.

So again, I apologize to my loyal readers and thank you for coming back! I do enjoy blogging and enjoy having a life for that matter, doing more than just work. I know we can never go back, but I want to have more balance like I did a few months ago, so I'm taking steps to make that happen.

Music - Our gift to Sudie

2010-11-29T23:24:00.002-05:00

When my sisters and I were asked to sing at Sudie's memorial, we all wanted to do our best to honor her, but we were nervous that we hadn't sung together in many years and that you can't sing properly if you're crying. Fortunately, our previous singing came back to us, and we were able to keep the tears at bay long enough for the two songs, one at the church service and one at the gravesite. I asked my dad to record them if he could do so unobtrusively.

If you'd like to hear the songs, you can find them on my dad's blog. (Sorry, I'm too tired to figure out how to embed them here and must pack for a trip tomorrow.)

A True Gem

2010-11-22T20:12:00.000-05:00

My beloved great aunt Sudie Pearl died last week. She was 95 and leaves behind many nieces and nephews, great nieces and great nephews, and even great-great little ones. She was universally loved and respected by all, and although she didn't have children of her own, she was regarded by many as the matriarch figure of our family.

Sudie was born to Baptist missionaries, and spent her childhood in Brazil, where she learned how to speak Spanish and Portugese, as well as how to climb a tree and sleep in a hammock. Unfortunately, hers was not an easy life, and there were times in her childhood where her parents were told she wasn't expected to live. (Obviously, she defied those predictions.)

For most of her working career, she was a professor of Spanish at university. Many of her students later returned to tell her how much she meant to them, and Sudie was always so modest and gracious, never one to laud her accomplishments.

To me, she was an example of what I want to be, in so many ways. She had severe scoliosis, curvature of the spine, which caused a physical deformity most noticeable in her shoulders. I have slight scoliosis and know the near-constant pain that accompanies it. I can only imagine her pain was even greater, but she never complained. She always had a radiant smile and bestowed all her attention on the people around her.

She was a Christian, which she showed through her gracious actions and loving demeanor rather than showy words or condemnation of others.

She was fiscally responsible and generous, providing me and my sisters with incredible gifts and support, especially through our college years.

But mostly, she was full of love and freely gave it to us.

Sudie and I had so many talks over the years, and she often urged me to have kids. I know she was regretful that she didn't, having married late in life. She told me, "Don't wait." But I explained I wasn't consciously waiting, and that she had shown me how wonderful an aunt could be.

And although she didn't have children of her own to name, she did name me. My parents didn't give any of us girls middle names, assuming we would take our maiden name as our middle name once we married. When I was divorcing [the first time] and reviewing the legal documents the lawyer had drafted, I got to the part about legally changing my name back to my maiden name. Abruptly, I asked if I could add a middle name. He thought it was an odd request but confirmed I could. "What name would you choose?"

I knew immediately. Sudie always called me "Emily Jane," after my mom "Beverly Jane" because I reminded her in many ways of my mom.

Without hestitation I told the lawyer "Jane." And I couldn't wait to show my new license, with my new full name, to Sudie. I told her she named me, and I always carry that with me.

I am so grateful to have had her in my life, and I know I was blessed in countless ways to have had Sudie Pearl as my great aunt.

Apologies

2010-11-16T22:12:00.002-05:00

I feel like I've been doing that a lot lately -- apologizing -- I'm just stretched too thin.

It's not that I've abandoned my blog or am too depressed to write. I'm just overworked, and since I work online, specifically with social media, the last thing I want to do when I'm done after an especially long day is get on the computer at home and blog.

I do have random thoughts of brilliant blog posts at times when I don't have computer access...like while I'm on a plane or in a bathtub...but then I land and rush off to a meeting or get out of the tub and crash into a deep sleep.

So, apologies for ignoring you, dear readers. I am grateful that you read and comment.

This month, I have a total of five trips for work before Thanksgiving. And in between, I'm still expected to keep up with an abundance of email and other work deliverables. Some of that is getting done. Some of it is barely getting done, and I'm sure I've forgotten things that I'm supposed to be doing. It's nice to feel needed, but I have a difficult time saying "no" to colleagues I like and respect. I also want to do a good job on things. But lately, it's not my best work. [sigh]

I'm still struggling with the concept of balance. I know it's impossible all the time, but I also know I need to firmly stick to my boundaries and take care of myself.

A Few Halloween Pics

2010-11-01T22:31:00.000-04:00

It's already late in the evening, and I still have to pack for a business trip, so apologies for just pics!

Pondering

2010-10-26T00:11:00.002-04:00

Have you ever had the feeling you're not doing what you're "meant" to be doing? I get that feeling often, and have for many years.

Although I purposefully don't talk about my work here, it's a good job. I'm good at it, but I'm not fulfilled by it like some of my colleagues. I envy them their passion. But I take pride in doing a good job, so I do.

But sometimes I wonder...should I be doing something different? Could I make more of a difference in the world doing something else?

I don't know what this other thing would be, and I believe things happen in life for a reason, so I try to make the most of where I am right now.

Making a Difference

2010-10-18T22:31:00.002-04:00

This past weekend I was at part two of Discovery, which I wrote about a month ago (What a difference 3 days makes). My heart is so full of love, and I have an amazing group of friends from my class.

Our class motto is "we play hard," and boy, did we! On Saturday, we had a dance and costume party. As you may know if you've been reading for awhile, I LOVE costumes and Halloween! I think it's because I loved dress-up as a child, and now, as an adult, I can really indulge myself and go all out on my costume. I decided to do Lady Gaga, and let me just say, I didn't hold anything back! I got the blonde wig, the sequined dress, the fishnet stockings, the ultra-pink lipstick, silver eyeshadow, and outrageous eyelashes with rhinestones. Several of my friends didn't recognize me! I loved it. (I don't have pictures yet but will share when I do!)

I was worn out today and was wishing I had taken the day off or could call in sick, but I got up and went to work. I'm so glad I did... You know how it's said everything happens for a reason? I needed to be there today. Someone at work needed me, and I was able to be there for her and share some of the lessons I just learned. It was an amazing day for me because I feel like I really made a difference. It doesn't get much better than that.

My Absence from the Blogosphere Explained

2010-10-11T21:48:00.003-04:00

So...I haven't been much of a blogger lately. Partially, that's because I've been too busy and too exhausted to post. But I've also been rethinking the blog.

I recently read the book The Secret. It's hardly new, so you may be familiar with the concept. It's based on the law of attraction, and that we attract to us what we focus on. So if you focus on lack, you get more of that. If you focus on abundance, you get more of that. And the trick is to think about the things you want as if you already have them -- from a place of gratitude.

There's a chapter in the book that talks about relationships and relays the story about a woman who really felt ready for a relationship in her life. And when she read The Secret, she realized she literally didn't have ROOM in her life for a relationship -- all her closets were overfull! So she cleaned them out, and...

As I was reading that, I thought -- initially -- well, that's not me! In my new apartment, I have more than enough closet space and several that aren't full.

And then the chapter went on to say, "when you want to attract something into your life, make sure your actions don't contradict your desires." It hit me like a ton of bricks. My blog is/was -- I changed it that night -- "life of a thirty-something singleton." I am literally defining myself as a singleton! And, although I've had fun, this is not want I ultimately want.

Which leaves me wondering...what to do? I know my blog hasn't been super interesting of late to those who were hoping for disastrous-but-entertaining dating stories. I've mostly been healing my latest broken heart with niece & nephew time. But I'm not sure I want to return to disastrous-but-entertaining. I want so much more than that. I'm READY for so much more than that. And so, I'm debating about what to do with the blog. Do I just redesign/rename/refocus? Or do I start new somewhere else?

How to Look Happy

2010-09-27T23:36:00.004-04:00

I got to spend most of my weekend with my happy-go-lucky niece Anna. She really is a ray of sunshine, and she was absolutely delighted to get to go to a rodeo event with me. (Some friends of mine were putting on a roping event.)

At the end of the night, one of my friends even let Anna ride his horse. She of course was on cloud nine!

How to Look Mean

2010-09-26T22:34:00.002-04:00

I tried to post this days ago...but I've been having technical difficulties. So frustrating.

Recently after a lovely dinner at my sister's house, my nephew Colin started explaining to us how he gives "mean" looks:

Then he went into more detail:

It makes me smile!

"All I want is to be happy being who I am..."

2010-09-22T22:42:00.002-04:00

A couple weeks ago, I watched an incredible movie. I've always been moved by music, and this foreign film's plot revolves around the role music can play in our lives. It's a Swedish film called "As It is in Heaven" and the climactic song is "Gabriella's Song." I've been singing the English translation to the music and wish I could record it for the English-speaking world. Here are the translated lyrics, but I encourage you to watch the clip of the film on YouTube, linked below:

It is now that my life is mine.
I've got this short time on earth
And my longing has brought me here
All I lacked and all I gained
And yet it's the way that I chose
My trust was far beyond words
That has shown me a little glimpse
Of the heaven I've never found.

I want to feel I'm alive
All my living days
I will live as I desire
I want to feel I'm alive
Knowing I was good enough

I have never lost who I was
I have only left it sleeping
Maybe I never had a choice
Just the will to stay alive

All I want is to be happy
Being who I am
To be strong and to be free
To see day arise from night
I am here and my life is only mine
And the heaven I thought was there
I'll discover it here somewhere
I want to feel that I've lived my life!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxmgkxRrpZE

What a Difference 3 Days Makes

2010-09-20T23:29:00.004-04:00

I had the most incredible weekend. I attended Discovery! -- a three-day personal growth seminar that a new, dear friend told me about.

Besides making 35 wonderful new friends, many of whom are in the Austin area, I have a new lease on life. I feel truly blessed and hopeful about my future, secure in knowing who I am. I can't wait to share the new me with the world!

My class included people of all ages -- one of whom I learned as I friended him on Facebook was born the year I graduated high school! Ha! I got a good laugh out of that. But it feels like he's a younger brother, and I'm looking forward to seeing him and his sisters this weekend at a rodeo event he's participating in.

Lots of good things to come. I can just feel it!

A Catch-Up Post

2010-09-15T20:59:00.006-04:00

I know, I know...sorry for my absence from the blogosphere. I've been keeping busy, both at work and personally, and I've also been avoiding a few blog stalkers. But as commenters may have noticed, I'm now moderating comments, and I've taken other steps to protect myself as well.

So what have I been up to? Let me start with last weekend...

I had a date on Friday night with a really cute, young guy who makes me laugh and is very affectionate. We even had a sleepover! (Relax, it's my 7-year-old nephew Colin.) His older sister Anna had gotten to spend a one-on-one evening with me a few weeks ago, and last weekend it was "finally" Colin's turn. We had a nice evening, and I enjoyed the way he talks and phrases things. He asked me lots of questions he'd never asked before, such as "What do you do for work?" And he bragged about his dad to me, almost as if I didn't already know him, and told me all the things his dad could do!

On Saturday, I spent most of my day with Colin, Anna and Jenn, and on Sunday morning, we four competed in an Adventure Race! Anna & I were a team -- Furry Friends -- and Jenn & Colin were the Star-Wars-themed Bounty Hunters. The race encourages participants to wear costumes, and in my opinion, Anna and I had some of the most practical costumes for the event. (Many people just wear them for the costume contest at the beginning and don't wear the costumes throughout.) Anna and I agreed to dress as kitty cats. I shopped around and found some cute lycra tops in a black-and-white stripe, waterproof ears and tails that we wore with black bike shorts. Oh, and then there was the waterproof makeup for our noses and whiskers!

We had a blast, and Anna enjoyed "meowing" at the spectators and race volunteers. And I was pleased that I had trained enough to more than keep up with Anna -- she admitted I was dragging her through portions of the run and hike.

And later on Sunday, Jenn and I attended our weekly Bollywood dance class! It was a fun and love-filled weekend.

Enjoying the Texas Hill Country

2010-09-07T20:16:00.004-04:00

I awoke to the sound of rain today. I love that sound. I never really heard storms in NYC, other than occasionally hearing the wind against my high rise apartment window.

I'm also enjoying the sound of my wind chime again. It was banished to the dark space under my couch while I was in NYC when my plans to hang it in the living room were dashed with the concrete in the ceiling. As soon as I unpacked it, I hung it on my patio here in Austin -- it was up before any pictures were on the walls!

And one of my favorite sights is between work and home: a beautiful view of the green hills here in Austin. I found this similar picture online so you all can enjoy it, too:

The Understudy, Part II

2010-09-06T21:37:00.005-04:00

Sorry it's been a few days. I haven't felt like writing, and I've been busy with other things.

To finish up my babysitting story, everyone did pretty well, although unfortunately the big kids were late to school on the second day due to the dog getting out and not obeying the command "Come."

Also on day two, Nana and Grandad came home from two months away. The kids were SO glad to see them. Evelyn was so cute, she just held on to them and didn't speak.

They were also ecstatic to see Mom & Dad again on Wednesday.

Graham had a VERY loose front tooth -- the one remaining baby tooth on the top middle -- and Steph encouraged him to wiggle it out of there, and he did! He looks a little like a cute vampire with both top front teeth out, and he has a bit of a lisp, too.

The Understudy

2010-08-30T21:28:00.004-04:00

Sunday was my first night "in charge." It was also movie night, the weekly ritual being that the kids can watch a movie while they eat dinner. We watched Annie, and I made the chicken parm with spaghetti, croissants and avocado slices. They ate very well. My favorite part was after they finished eating. We watched the movie all snuggled together. I had bookend twins and Evie climbed on my lap. I loved it!

So today was my first full day. I'll admit I was a little nervous about it all last night and didn't sleep very well thinking about everything I needed to do. Paige & Graham are 7 and nearly self-sufficient in many ways, and Evelyn is 3. But it's still amazing to me how much energy it all takes! Once again, I have a renewed appreciation for my sisters as moms, as well as all the moms out there.

My big accomplishments today were getting three kids to three different schools on time (and without getting lost), picking them each up on time, making a healthy dinner, and getting them to bed on time with minimal distractions. It's 8:30, and I'm ready to go to bed myself!

I think the reward for today was when I tucked Evelyn into bed and she said, "I love you, Auntie Emily. I love you SOOOOO much!" :-)

Go Team!

2010-08-30T10:25:00.000-04:00

I drove to Houston Saturday morning, and my sister Steph gave me a run-through of the school drop-off and pick-up. My three nieces and nephew go to three different schools! Fortunately, they are pretty well-timed -- providing traffic cooperates -- so you can drop off the first two, grab a cappucino, and drop off the little one. This morning was the first test, and everyone got to school on time! Yay!

Although I'm not a huge sports fan, it is always fun to experience sporting events live and feel the energy of the players and the crowd. On Saturday night, Steph and her husband took me and the kids to a Texans game. Oh, and we were in a box. It was pretty sweet! To me, the best part was watching the kids watch the game. It was the first time Evelyn (3-yrs) had ever been to a game, and she remarked several times that she was so excited AND that she was so excited to be going with "Auntie Em." :-)

2010-08-30T10:20:00.000-04:00

Bonus video!

Happy Faces

2010-08-27T22:43:00.003-04:00

One of the big reasons for moving back to Texas was to be closer to my nieces and nephews. I am fortunate to have 5 total -- 2 living in the Austin area and 3 living in Houston.

The 2 here in Austin, Anna & Colin, visited my parents -- their grandparents -- for two weeks this month, and I caught these pictures as the joyfully returned to their parents: (sorry the first one is blurry)

And today, I got the opportunity to visit each of them at their school lunchtime, which is a quick 25-30 minutes. They were both beaming, and I got a couple snapshots. (Colin had to do one silly one in addition to a nice one.)

Tomorrow, I drive to Houston to see the other 3, and I'm going to take care of them for a few days while their parents are travelling! Should be good for some blog stories. :-)

Dinner Date + Sleepover

2010-08-21T22:14:00.004-04:00

I have a special visitor tonight: my niece Anna came for a sleepover! We tried out my new grill with teriyaki chicken and vegetables, and she helped me make some rice. At 9-years-old, she's a great helper in the kitchen, although she prefers preparing the meal to cleaning up. :-)

We had a nice conversation during dinner, too. She asked me if it was lonely living by myself and said she couldn't imagine living without her family. I explained that it's a little different once you're an adult, and that there are benefits to living alone.

After dinner, Anna enjoyed a bubble bath. We strategically placed the bubbles so I could take a picture of her reclining in the suds:

She's such a sweet girl, and right in between being a child and being a teenager. It's great to talk to her one-on-one and hear her thoughts about the world around her.

And she told me at least three times tonight, "I'm so glad you live in Austin now." Me, too.

Still Reeling

2010-08-20T15:09:00.006-04:00

Thanks for all the supportive comments.

This has really hit me hard. I wish I had seen some warning sign, but there was nothing. Logically, I knew it was all fast, but it was all so good, so easy. He said all the right things -- complimenting me on my appearance almost every day, telling me how proud he was of my professional accomplishments, admiring my singing voice and bragging about me, and he was so sweet and generous with me.

We made plans for the future -- some more detailed than others -- and we talked about a future marriage and children. We discussed everything (or so I thought) and we both admitted that this relationship seemed different than prior ones, that we were honest and mature, able to talk through things. He even told me how our relationship was better than his last one (the one he's gone back to).

I know I must be in denial, but I still can't believe it's all over. My heart aches. I wanted that life we had begun to build, that relationship and the kids. The realization of my dream. I don't know how he can throw it away so easily. I can't seem to.

I do wish I'd never met him. I was doing fine before: I was independent, strong, sure of myself. Now, I feel like I've been knocked sideways. I can't stop thinking about him and missing him and the girls.

I think there were legitimate reasons his last relationship didn't work, and I don't think it will work again. I think it's just a matter of time, and he may come crawling back. I hope I can be strong and protect myself, but right now, I just want it all back.

Oh No

2010-08-19T00:44:00.005-04:00

Well, here's your chance to say, "I told you so."

FB came back from his trip -- his annual pilgrimage to Memphis for Elvis week -- where he saw his ex-girlfriend and realized he still has feelings for her. And -- surprise of all surprises -- she wants him back.

He's decided he has to "see this thing through."

Yes, I am a fool for getting sucked in so quickly, for believing his declarations of love and getting attached to his sweet girls. I feel like an idiot, but mostly I'm just devastated and hurt. I really thought we had something good going.

Enjoying Domesticity

2010-08-17T21:51:00.005-04:00

One of the benefits of not being in NYC is the more balanced lifestyle. I still have to work hard, but there's so much other things to do and enjoy here in Austin! Of course, I want to do everything, which is impossible. FB has been out of town for awhile, but I've been busy getting settled.

My new big purchases include a washer and dryer and a grill!!! I know, I know, so very exciting. I can now clean clothes any time I want, and I can enjoy the tastiness of grilled food. I missed a grill when I was in NYC.

So here's a few pics of my new adobe!

The Other Person's Children

2010-08-12T18:41:00.000-04:00

A couple years ago, my mom made an observation to me that given my age and the fact that I want to date men who are age appropriate, it was very likely that a potential mate would have kids from a previous relationship. I agreed that it was likely, and I wondered what that would be like. I've always been predisposed to love children and have often thought of adopting or foster parenting. But this would be different.

My relationship with Steve (prior to using code names on the blog) was my first experience with that. Unfortunately, his relationship with his ex was strained -- to put it mildly -- and he rarely saw his kids who lived with their mom in a neighboring state. The kids were 10 and 12; one struggling with behavioral challenges and the other with puberty. And both were still reeling from the divorce and not prepared to see their dad with someone else. While not the deciding factor in my calling it quits, the situation and tension with the ex put additional strain on our relationship.

With Fly Boy and his girlios, it's completely different. For one, he and his ex have a relationship based on friendship and agree on how they are raising the kids. He has the girls 50% of the time, not just sporadic weekends, and the girls are very secure in both their parent's love. They have seen their dad date before, and they have embraced me. They are younger and have also had a couple years to come to terms with their parents not being together, and they are well-behaved, sweet children. So while it is mind-blowing to go from spending my time as 1 to 1+1+3, it is a happy chaos.

Family Time

2010-08-10T22:08:00.003-04:00

So last Thursday, I had Vetmommy and her family over for dinner. And, to meet Fly Boy.

I rushed home from work and rapidly started preparing dinner: pasta with red sauce, turkey Italian sausage, and sauteed veggies. Jenn and her entourage arrived with fresh-from-the-garden tomatoes and basil to make a caprese salad, and Anthony opened the wine. The kids explored my new place, proclaiming it great, and when FB arrived with the bread, we all sat down for dinner. The whole evening seemed to zoom by for me with bustling activity, conversation and hostess duties (I'm always overly concerned about everything going just right), but it seemed like FB made a good impression, although Anna & Colin were a little disappointed he wasn't dressed in his police uniform.

Over the weekend, FB had his girls, and we tried out the pool at my apartment complex. It was fun, although I was on alert watching the three of them, who have varying skills at swimming and varying comfort levels with risk-taking. Remembering the time I spent with them over the weekend, the sounds I remember the most fondly are their giggles and sweet songs. Oh, and I have lots of new refridgerator artwork with dear little messages of adoration.

Settling In

2010-08-05T11:25:00.004-04:00

I can't believe it's already Thursday. Time is flying by, and my days are packed with so much. I'm still getting settled, although all but two boxes are unpacked. I still have a few more pictures to hang, and I continue to replenish condiments and other grocery staples that I had to discard when I moved. I am loving my new place. The 2 bed/2 bath feels HUGE to me after my 1/1 in NYC, and there are more closets than I can actually fill. I have a large back porch and little fenced yard in the back, and the apartment complex backs up to a state-protected wooded area. I can't hear any noise other than crickets, frogs and the soothing coos of doves. It's very peaceful.

Of course, the only drawback to all this woodsy-ness is the plentiful -- and varied -- insect life. Ick. In my high-rise in the concrete jungle, I didn't have any bugs. But it's a small inconvenience. There's definitely not an insect problem -- I'm just squeamish about creepy crawlies!

Last weekend, my sweet cousin Bev drove up from College Station. She helped me organize, and I purchased a guest bed for the extra room for her to sleep on. After a busy Saturday, we had a quiet evening at home and quality girl talk over Mojitos. The last time I really had such a nice visit with her was just before she started college when she visited me in NYC three years ago. She is so dear to me, and it was great to catch up.

And she got to be the first family member to meet Fly Boy. When she and I went for dinner at a Chinese restaurant on Friday night -- which turned out to be very strange because of the karaoke system that was the main attraction and the overly serious singers -- I got a text from FB that he was finishing up a call not too far from where we were. Bev asked if we could go see him, and he said of course! (Note: I am hesitant about the whole police thing, and don't like to even think about the fact that he's in dangerous situations every day. I do not have a burning desire to go on "ride-alongs" or hang out at the station. I respect what he and his officers do, but I'd rather keep work at work.) FB assured me that the scene was secured and it was safe for us to come by. (They were just finishing up paperwork stuff.) He was very proud to introduce me to two of the guys who work for him, and we chatted with them for a few minutes. The next day, he met us for brunch, and Bev and FB each got to know each other a little better. Bev gave him a thumbs-up.

Next up: FB will get vetted by the vet: Vetmommy and her family.

A Nonchalant, but Momentous, Occasion

2010-07-29T20:12:00.001-04:00

With a profession in law enforcement and national security, as well as above average intelligence, Fly Boy prides himself on being a good judge of character. I don't doubt it, as he has to make split second decisions in his line of work that can literally mean life or death to himself or his men.

Because he trusted me and meeting the 'rents had gone so well, FB thought I should meet the other generation, too -- his "girlios." I was much more nervous about this prospect than he was. The girlios -- aged 8, 5, and 4 -- had met his previous girlfriend, and since FB and his ex have such a great relationship, the girls didn't seem at all concerned that their dad was with another woman. But still, their pint-sized bodies held steely glances as they regarded me during that initial introduction.

I am good with kids. Always have been. But I still felt nervous and realized the momentousness of this occasion, even thought I appreciated Fly Boy's casualness about the meeting. Would they like me? What if they didn't? FB introduced me to them, and they immediately asked -- as he predicted -- what about the previous girlfriend? He explained they were now just friends, and the girls seemed more concerned that they wouldn't see the ex-girlfriend's kids than her. They asked if I had kids (looking for playmates), but the answer that I had one elderly cat seemed less than ideal.

I tried to make small talk, asking how old they were (even though I already knew), complimenting their earrings, and asking what they were playing. Their responses were mono-syllabic. I tried not to panic. The middle girl appraised me and stated, "You look like my mommy."

"Oh, really?" I replied with what I hoped was a calm voice, while wondering if FB had truly just chosen me because I looked like his type. "Yes," she said, "But with a different face." I laughed, realizing she was looking at my adult woman body. She later followed that observation with another -- that my butt is like her mom's: big -- while she has a small butt. (I am taking this as a purely proportional assessment: child vs adult.)

We all got into his truck and drove to dinner. The middle child (I am also the middle of three girls) announced she had a song for us. Her original, spontaneous composition started with "Daddy has a new girlfriend" and also had a verse which included "First, Daddy had Mommy as a girlfriend, then he had Miss B___ as a girlfriend, and now he has Miss Emily as a girlfriend." It was sweet and funny. The other girls joined in.

After dinner, the littlest one climbed up into my lap and snuggled in with her head under my chin. She looked up at me and declared, "You're snuggly." My heart melted a bit as I told her she was too.

The oldest one wrote me a sweet note the next day, stating I was one of her favorite people. And, she conspiratorially whispered to me, "I KNOW Daddy's going to marry you because when he introduced you to us, he said 'I really, really like her' and he never said that about Miss B___." I thanked her for the intel.

And so, I have three new little friends in Austin. Before I met them, I had a conversation with Fly Boy that I wasn't quite ready to use the title "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" yet. But when the oldest asked her dad -- when he first introduced me -- "Is she a friend or a girlfriend?" FB and I locked eyes and I gave him a quick nod. They are so innocent and sweet, and like them, I am focusing on living in the moment.

Amazing

2010-07-27T23:47:00.004-04:00

It all started with an email through Match.com. Fly Boy emailed me saying he found my profile interesting. He particularly liked that I noted that I believe every soul has value and responded to my requirements of height-weight proportionate (he's 5'10" 210#) and the absolute disdain I have for tobacco use (Never!).

However, when I clicked through to his profile, two things in particular made me stop short of liking it: he chose the field "no more kids/happy if the other person has kids of their own" and "recently divorced." In addition, he had mentioned in his email to me that he works as a police officer and is a Navy Commander. While impressive, I've never been the type to go for police officers, and based on my experience (ex-husband #2 and another short-term guy), I'm not very interested in military guys either. Regarding the kids, he wrote in his profile of his three young girls (with accompanying ADORABLE picture). Rather than the auto "No thank you" response Match offers, I decided to write him back and let him know of my two show-stoppers. To my surprise, he wrote back. And further surprise, his response was very well-written. He not only explained his thinking behind what he wrote (he's open to more kids -- in fact, thinks "there can never be too many of them" and explained he's been separated for about four years and has an excellent relationship with his ex) but he also responded that he heard and understood my objections.

I found myself writing back to him again. Partially because he was a good writer and demonstrated intelligence. He wrote me the next time about how he takes his little girls (8, 5, and 4) on "dates," showing them how they should be treated and giving them one-on-one time with dad. [AW!!!] He also talked about being a pilot and asking if I'd ever been in a one-engine plane (not yet!).

As we shared emails about our backgrounds, we found similarity in the frequent relocations: mine due to my dad's airline company employment and Fly Boy's due to his dad being in the Army. He wrote about some of the leadership opportunities he's had in the Navy and how he's trying to bring that learning to his fellow officers at the police department. He also expressed interest in learning more about what I do and complimented me on my successes.

After several long emails, we exchanged phone numbers. The first call lasted TWO HOURS but seemed like 30 minutes. FB's not only intelligent, he's funny. He has the admirable ability to laugh at himself and also is not afraid to point out when I've done something that is mockable (in a respectful way -- he makes me laugh at myself when I'm taking myself too seriously).

We talked a couple more times before setting a date to meet one afternoon for coffee. I knew we had intellectual compatibility, but would we have physical chemistry? Well...that initial "coffee date" lasted 8 hours! FB took me to dinner and we talked non-stop. He has beautiful blue eyes, but he is hesitant to smile often or long. It became a challenge to me to try and make him smile -- it lights up his face when he does.

FB asked to see me the next day -- but that was move-in day to my new apartment. Not exactly a fun activity for anyone. But he reassured me that he was just interested in spending time with me. He turned out to be a huge help, offering to unpack boxes or do whatever needed doing, and stayed until he had to go to work that evening at the police department.

The next day (Sunday), he asked me to lunch, and then spur-of-the-moment invited me to join him to drive out to see his parents just outside of Austin. It all seemed natural enough -- not overly formal like so many of these such meetings -- that I found myself agreeing. Plus, I just wanted to spend more time with him. He's genuinely interested in me: my job, my family, what's important to me -- and at the same time, he's more than I would have thought possible in a police/Navy guy.

His parents were lovely. I thoroughly enjoyed talking to both of them. He's very close with his parents and his younger sister (in LA).

There's more...but it's late, I'm in Chicago (for work, and I'm tired. And this blog post is long enough! Suffice it to say that I really like FB. So much so that I cut off my Match profile. And for the first time in a really long time, it doesn't seem like a sacrifice to give up meeting other people. And for his part, FB is so complimentary, supportive and respectful of me and what I do and what I'm about. It's just amazing.

Online Dating

2010-07-26T11:20:00.000-04:00

Online dating is interesting. You see some strange profiles, such as the guy who posted a college football photo of himself saying "this is me, plus 20 years." Profiles also show someone's writing skills -- or lack thereof -- but to me, it seems like a valid way to meet others who have similar interests and values...if both people are honest.

I had a date last Friday. It was so amazingly good, I'm having a difficult time trying to figure out how to write about it all. Plus, I'm still in the middle of getting settled and moving in, while planning a business trip for tomorrow... I don't have the internet working yet at home, so I'm in Starbucks at the moment, doing some work on my day off (grrr, but can't be avoided). I need more time to write it all out, so sorry for the foreshadowing.

Suffice it to say, for now, that I've found someone worth spending more time with. And the great thing is, he's feeling the same about me.

80's Flashback

2010-07-23T12:35:00.000-04:00

A good friend of my sister Jenn's who I've met and hung out with on a couple occasions when I visited invited me to join her at Adult Night at the roller skating rink.

I remember roller skating as a kid, and at least in my memories, I was fairly good. Nothing fancy, but I could skate backwards or forwards and jam to the music. So while it's not an activity I would have sought out on my own, I thought I could enjoy it and experience something with new eyes.

Jenn's friend is a petite, mixed ethnicity girl full of laughter and fun. She jokes with everyone in a nice way and is completely willing to laugh at herself as well. Her infectious laugh usually entices everyone to join in. She is a beautiful mix of Japanese and Indian, and she's the first one to poke fun at her two cultures. She calls her mix Japindian, which seems as good a name as any for the blog.

So Japindian and I went roller skating on Tuesday. She's very serious about her skating and has even bought her own skates! She was nice enough to stay with me as I relearned how to navigate on wheels, and I am proud to say I didn't fall once, not even when some idiot ran into my right calf as he was trying to weave through the crowd. Speaking of the right leg, it got a great workout. They only did one "reverse skate" song, so the left leg was basically just along for the ride.

I think the biggest entertainment of the evening for Japindian was to escort me to the women's bathroom. I understand why that area isn't carpeted, but it seems ridiculous that the floor is also sloped. So while you're trying to hygienically squat over the porcelain fixture which seems significantly lower since you're on skates, you also have to hold on to the walls of the stall and hope you don't go crashing through the door with your pants down. Japindian had warned me about this but still kept laughing as I (successfully!) balanced through.

There weren't any interesting guys at the skating rink, at least not interesting in the would-like-to-date way. There were several show-boaters, and besides the speedy ones weaving and dodging through the crowd, there were a few doing spins and tricks in the middle of the floor. Some of these guys look the same as the ones who hung around the rink back in the 80's. I was grateful no one asked us to join in on the Couples Skate song.

Japindian wants me to commit to joining her every Tuesday. I don't know about a long-term commitment, but I'd probably do it again.

So Close

2010-07-21T13:21:00.002-04:00

I had a second date with Cattle Baron last weekend. Again, great conversation: he told interesting stories and listened to mine attentively. He again insisted on paying -- I still feel a little weird about this. I like being independent, and I can afford to pay for myself. When I know someone else is paying, it makes me more cautious about what I order (maybe I shouldn't pick the most expensive entree or glass of wine), and I wonder what expectations come with it. Perhaps that's the NYer in me questioning why anyone would be nice without an ulterior motive.

I let him drive for this date, and when he dropped me back off at "home" -- my sister's -- he kissed me. And...nothing. I didn't really like the kiss. He has very thin lips and they were too firm. I tried. But I don't really want to kiss him again. And I've gotten to the point in my life where I don't want to have to teach someone the basics like how to kiss well.

So, while he's angling for another date, and while I do enjoy spending time with him, I don't think it's going anywhere but friendship. I'm debating how and when to tell him that. I want to be honest and not string him along if he's not looking for just a friend.

But there are others on Match...and I've got a couple meet-ups already scheduled.

A Nice First Date

2010-07-15T23:47:00.002-04:00

I met Cattle Baron for a drink -- wanted to start off with something defined and short in case it wasn't good -- but we progressed to dinner. He talked a lot about himself at first, not asking me many questions, but when we got to dinner, I got a chance to share as well. He insisted on paying, saying that's how he was raised and he would be offended if I paid. I did get the door for myself on the way out, and he mentioned he would have gotten it for me if I had given him a chance. I laughed and said I was NY-ified and used to being independent.

It was a good first date. CB seems like a really nice, sweet guy, and when he smiles, it reminds me of someone -- I can't quite put my finger on who yet. He has a definite Southern drawl and talked about how he's always lived in small towns. I countered that I've always lived in cities, and wouldn't have it any other way.

He was very polite and intelligent. The conversation was easy. But there weren't really any sparks. I enjoyed his company and agreed to see him again. But driving "home" (to my sister's where I'm staying until my apt is ready), I have to admit that I don't think the sparks are something that comes with time. I think you either have chemistry, or you don't.

Taking the Plunge (Again)

2010-07-14T22:32:00.000-04:00

I have a date tomorrow! I'm excited because it's been so long since I had one, but of course, I'm a little nervous, too.

I took the plunge back into online dating. I work online, shop online, blog online (obviously), and it just seems like it should work. It SEEMS like it would be a good way to meet people and find people with something in common. But of course, it's not that easy.

In the past, I've tried Match.com, Yahoo personals, eHarmony and Chemistry, as well as offline dating services. This time, I decided to go back to Match. It's been the longest time since I tried them, and it's popular so it should have plenty of candidates.

The guy I'm meeting tomorrow emailed me through the site, asking what I had liked best about Paris and shared his thoughts on the city -- so I knew he had travelled abroad. We've spoken on the phone a few times, and he seems very nice. The most unusual thing (to me) about him is that he owns cattle -- 80 head of cattle to be exact. I know next to nothing about cattle, but I told him I could tell him a lot about navigating the NYC subways. Other than the country-mouse/city-mouse thing, we do have things in common, and the conversation has been easy on the phone. So we'll see...

Slowing Down to Texas Pace

2010-07-12T16:03:00.003-04:00

I think it's going to take me awhile to shake off NY...things move much slower here, which isn't all together bad, but just different.

Yesterday, I dropped off my sister Jenn and her family at the airport for their much-anticipated vacation to Chile. I was so sad to see them go, but I hope I didn't show it. I am excited for them, but it is so unnaturally quiet and lonely at their house without them.

I was thrilled that my uncle Tom and his girlfriend asked me to join them for dinner. I have seen them so rarely in the past several years, and it seemed so easy to get together for a spur-of-the-moment meal and we ended up talking for hours.

Before meeting them, I ran to the grocery store for a few things, intending on just being there a few minutes. One of the things I found frustrating in NYC was the small markets with limited items. Often, I would have to visit three different stores in various parts of the city to get all the necessary items for one of my recipes. Not so in Texas...you know how they say everything's bigger in Texas? The grocery stores are MASSIVE. There are so many items. Just looking at the milk, they must have had 20 different kinds. The choices were almost overwhelming. Although I do appreciate having the choices, it takes me longer to make a decision on the simplest things. That, and I'm not familiar with the store layout yet. :-)

Another thing to get used to: driving again. I've only driven rarely in the past three years, and it still takes all my concentration. It's no longer second-nature to me, but it's coming back quickly.

I also noticed today how courteous people are. I walked from my office over to the bank and cars that could have turned in front of me actually waited until I had passed in front of them. That wouldn't have happened in NYC! I found myself smiling, and someone I passed said Hello!

I stopped into Starbucks for an afternoon caffeine fix. The cashier forgot to call my order to the barista, so I reminded her, and she gave me a coupon for a free drink next time. They're NICE here. The whole wait time was much less than the overcrowded Starbucks near my NY office. Oh, and cheaper!

Austin

2010-07-10T23:31:00.002-04:00

Just a brief post to announce I made it to Austin, and everything went according to plan with the move (so far). The movers arrived at 9:50 a.m., and everything was packed in their truck by 1:10 p.m. I cleaned the apartment and gave the keys to the new tenant and headed to JFK airport on time.

My poor cat, Sabrina, had a stressful time of it, despite the sedative, and attacked my hands a couple times when I tried petting her in her carrier bag. The plane was delayed taking off, making our time on the plane even longer. I was so anxious to get here -- both for Sabrina's sake and to see my family who was eagerly awaiting my arrival -- so that probably made it seem longer, too.

I'm exhausted and sore and only half done with the move -- I don't move into my new place until later in the month -- but I'm glad to be here.

Moving Day

2010-07-07T22:59:00.004-04:00

It's here. I'm feeling so many things, it's hard to know what to write. I'm overwhelmed, anxious about the move, exhausted, sad from so many touching goodbyes, excited to see my family and all that awaits there, nostalgic about leaving New York...

I'll write more later, once I'm on the ground in Austin. For now, I have to pack up the computer!

Meeting the Mystery Man

2010-07-07T22:59:00.003-04:00

Long-time readers will be interested to learn that tonight I met the frequent commenter of my blog, Jman.

We met at a bar he recommended in Times Square, and he ordered us delicious champagne. It was great to finally put a face and learn more about the man who has left so many witty and supportive comments on my blog over the last couple years.

Although I know some were hoping he was the elusive ideal man for me, it turns out he's married, with a grown son of his own. He asked me many questions about my background, both prior to the blog and the scoop on things I've blogged about. And although I learned more about him as well, I will respect his online anonymity and not broadcast too much.

One thing I forgot to ask: what is it about my blog that he finds interesting enough to come back and keep commenting?

Basel, Good Friends & Good Food

2010-07-05T15:20:00.006-04:00

I can't believe it's been a week since I posted.

The rest of my time in Europe flew by, with days beginning at 6 a.m. and finishing around midnight. I barely saw any of Basel. It was one of those typical business trips: airport -- hotel and prepping for meeting -- client's -- airport. So my pictures are quite limited: there's a view of Switzerland from the airport, the display celebrating the World Cup in our hotel's lobby, and the delicious cheese fondue I shared with colleagues over dinner.

I got back state-side Thursday afternoon and started packing in earnest for my upcoming move. I've also been seeing friends and saying goodbyes, with nearly every lunch and evening booked until I leave.

One fun night I'd love to do all over again was with two friends who are also from Texas. I met Beka at a doctor's office, but we only recently started hanging out. She introduced me to her roomie Houston, and I just love spending time with them. They each have helped me by taking care of my cat Sabrina while I was away on recent trips, so I took them out for dinner at Sushi Samba -- one of my all-time favorite restaurants.

We got a fantastic seat on their second floor balcony, overlooking 7th Avenue, and enjoyed some tasty beverages. Beka had never tried sushi before but was a great sport, although she was doubtful that some of the rolls would fit in her small mouth!

We finished the night by getting our palms read by a local psychic in Soho. It was entertaining!

As Long as I'm Here...

2010-06-27T16:43:00.005-04:00

I feel like my head is spinning lately. There is SO much going on, I can barely keep up.

My Internet access at home has been out for a WEEK. It's so frustrating. When I called last Sunday, they said the first available appointment was on Friday. So I wasn't thrilled but of course I took it. When the guy came out, he switched out my modem but was unable to fix the larger issue which seems to be how the signal is coming into the whole building. He called the main office, but as it was 5:20 p.m. on Friday, no one answered. They said it should be fixed by Monday. We'll see.

I've been trying to finalize movers and an apartment in Austin, and starting to pack up my stuff. That always makes me purge more, too, so I've got some bags ready for the Salvation Army.

Meanwhile, I'm in London! Last week my presence was requested for a big client meeting with some of my UK colleagues. I got in this morning, will meet with my colleagues tomorrow at the London office to prepare for the meeting. On Tuesday, we all fly out to Basel, Switzerland. Our meeting is Wednesday morning, then it's back to London late Wednesday and back to NYC Thursday morning. A very quick trip for such great cities. But I came in today so I could get adjusted. Jet lag is such a drag! I tried sleeping on the plane but only got a couple hours. I did have to take a nap this afternoon but tomorrow should be good.

Since I was here on Sunday, I decided to head over to St. Paul's Cathedral for a service. The concierge at my hotel said the service started at 12 noon, so I got there on time...and realized it actually started at 11:30. I walked in during the sermon. But I was still able to enjoy the last 60 minutes of the service, including incredibly beautiful choir music. I couldn't see them from where I was sitting, but the marble floors and domed ceilings produced a beautiful echo effect. The altos sounded a bit immature to me, but the sopranos were pure and perfectly pitched. Their high voices soared in the cathedral. When I got up for communion (the program said anyone who takes communion at their home church is welcome), I saw the choir for the first time: they were all men and boys! That explained what I had heard in the alto and soprano voices.

Later, I walked across the Millennium Bridge and visited the Shakespeare Globe Theater museum.

I had dinner at a tasty Indian restaurant, and when I left, the waiter gave me a single rose! Then I walked up to Westminster, Big Ben and the Houses of Parliament to walk off the food and lager a bit and enjoyed the sunset light on the buildings.

I just wish I had more time to take a quick trip North to see my family! But I have to get back to NYC and finish packing. Looks like the July 4th holiday weekend will be my best opportunity.

Timing

2010-06-24T14:01:00.002-04:00

Irony: I move back to Texas in just a couple weeks, and everyone in my immediate family -- parents and both sisters + families -- will be gone from Texas.

My parents are taking off for the cooler climate in the mountains of New Mexico.
Jenn, Anthony + kids will be visiting a friend and exploring Chile.
Steph + kids will be enjoying the ocean breezes of Southern California.

Welcome home to me! :-) Guess that's what I get for moving in the heat of the summer. But in my defense, I had to go when I found someone to sublease my apt.

And focusing on the positive, at least I will have plenty of time to set up my new place, meet some new friends, and take a road trip to visit Grandma.

Running Away or Running Towards?

2010-06-22T12:57:00.000-04:00

I haven't posted much lately, because I've been keeping quiet about something happening in my life...but I've been working on this post for over a year...

I heard Martha Beck speak at the O You Conference in San Francisco a couple years ago, and I was so impressed. I've always enjoyed her columns in the Oprah Magazine, but in person she was so much more! She's incredibly adept at making complex thinking seem attainable, and she's witty and downright funny.

One of her past columns was titled "Know When to Fold 'Em," in which she mentioned W.C. Fields's profound statement "If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it." The column discusses how researchers have compared those who resist quitting, and of those who throw in the towel when facing unattainable goals. They found that the second group—the quitters—were healthier than their persistent peers on almost every variable.

This gives me some comfort, because I've been struggling with the idea of "quitting."

Quitting New York.

Undoubtedly, there are things I love about New York: the variety in cultures, the lack of conformity to a single (or few) ideas, the four seasons, the multitude of cultural events (especially Broadway), feeling like I'm a part of this big machine called NYC, being close to the water (even if it is the not-so-transparent Hudson River), my little close-knit church and fledgling (although now on hiatus) choir...

But...it has been a pretty lonely existence for me here. Over the last three years, I've done all the tried-and-true methods to meet friends and potential dates. I've made a few friends, but NY has a culture of everyone being so busy, you don't see them but maybe once every few months. And I miss my family, especially the kids, my nieces and nephews.

As I recently celebrated another birthday, getting closer to having to change the title of this blog and hearing the biological clock ticking louder in its finale, I realize that if I don't have kids of my own, I at least want to be closer to those I do have in my life.

I started making inquiries with my company about the possibility of transferring, and I got full approval to move ahead with the transfer to the Austin office as soon as I'm ready. The only thing sticking point is subleasing my apartment, and that has happened MUCH faster than I expected.

I'm keeping my job AND getting to live closer to my family, able to be a more consistent presence in my nieces' and nephews' lives. And it also opens up other possibilities for me, such as owning a home, eating a lot more TexMex, participating (and completing) more triathlons, and possibly having a child on my own.

I moved to NYC for my career, and I've realized my career isn't the most important thing to me. I'm moving back to have a personal life.

I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

Swim Meet

2010-06-15T21:14:00.007-04:00

When I was in Austin for the triathlon, I also got to see Anna and Colin at their swim meet. I saw them a year ago and could definitely see their progress this time. Colin even won a ribbon for winning his heat. Anna takes a ballerina approach to her strokes and executes them beautifully, if not quickly.

After the tri, Colin and I enjoyed taking it easy and reading. I was sitting in the chair with my book and he climbed in the space between me and the back of the chair. He's a cuddler. (I know the angle of this shot makes my knees look huge, but they aren't in reality and the picture captured a sweet moment.)

Tri-ing Times

2010-06-08T22:40:00.003-04:00

It was my fourth triathlon -- and Jenn's seventh -- and I'm still flying high knowing 1) I finished, and 2) I beat my last year's time by six minutes!

This first picture was taken before the race, before we got red-faced and sweaty.

After the race, proudly wearing our accomplishment medals:

And strutting our stuff:

And our post-race meal -- brunch at El Rincon:

I'm really pleased. I worked hard to improve my times on the swim and run, and I did both. My bike time was within a minute of last year's. (The bike portion is definitely my favorite, and not just because I get to eat during it.) We were very fortunate to have cloud cover for the morning, which kept away the blazing sun. It was humid, but I was thankful for the clouds.

I can't wait to do it all again next year!

Trying the Younger Set

2010-05-31T21:22:00.001-04:00

While there are millions of people in NYC, it's just not that easy to meet people. Perhaps it's because people tend to stick to their own groups and take longer to open up to newbies. And it's a well-known fact that there are more single women than single men here...and the men know it. So I apologize for the lack of dating-related stories. Believe me, I've probably missed dating more than you've missed hearing about it!

But I'm happy to report I had a date...with a younger man. Now, generally I have dated men my age or older, but I figured...eh, why not? This particular younger man is someone I used to work with. He's nice and cute, and he asked me out for a belated birthday drink/dinner.

I chose Sala, a great tapas place with delicious sangria. We had a great time, conversation flowed easily, and he was very complimentary and a good kisser. I sent him a text message the next morning thanking him, but...nothing. Radio silence. Crickets. I suppose someone should teach this young guy how to treat a woman and be respectful. But I don't have the patience. Besides, I hate the term "cougar."

Birthday Celebrations

2010-05-26T12:08:00.000-04:00

I'm so tardy in posting about the birthday trifecta of a couple weeks ago, I can now lump in my birthday report as well.

Two weeks ago, I was down in Texas to celebrate my sister Jenn's 40th, my dad's 70th, and my nephew Colin's 7th birthdays. It was non-stop partying and organizing for parties, but so wonderful to be around many people that I love so dearly.

My birthday was this past Monday, and I had a really great day. I was touched that my three employees bought me a massage gift certificate and one of them made me a cake. Throughout the day, I heard from friends far and near through Facebook and had the birthday song sang to me by family and friends, and that evening, I attended the conclusion of our Spring Bible study at church. The end of semester dinner includes time for each of us to speak about what we've learned and what's going on in our lives, and I shared with them how much I treasure the relationships I've made and how glad I was to be spending my birthday with them. It was a simple birthday, but I truly enjoyed it. I really love my birthday -- other than the getting older part -- and I was a little sad when it was over!

West Point Graduation

2010-05-23T22:12:00.014-04:00

My cousin Rob graduated from West Point this weekend. I was 16 when he was born, and I clearly remember his whole life. It was very emotional to see him graduate. I'm so proud of him -- although I never doubted he'd finish what he started there -- but I can't help but feel concern about him and his friends he introduced me to as they head off to Afghanistan later this year. But Saturday was mostly about celebrating, and no less than the Commander in Chief -- President Obama -- was there to commemorate their achievement. In attendance were Rob's parents, his paternal grandparents, his sister Bev, my sister Steph and her husband, and me.

UPDATE: I can't get the videos to upload correctly, but you can see them on my YouTube channel. President Obama's full speech can be found on the White House blog.

Sweet Karma

2010-05-20T12:35:00.000-04:00

Sorry for the lack of posts. I need to give a recap of last weekend's birthday extravaganza, but I haven't downloaded my pictures yet! Every night has been busy with something, and I've had to catch up on mundane things like laundry and bills that I usually do on the weekend. Plus, the triathlon is two weeks from this Sunday, so I have to get a workout in every day.

But this is too good not to post!

Several years ago, a new boss was brought in to oversee the group I worked for at the time. I met with him a couple times and provided information on how the group had grown and changed over time. After he'd been there for a couple months, he announced a reorganization and the creation of several new management level positions. Immediately after the announcement, I went to his office and announced my desire for one of those positions. He laughed at me. Then, he said I could interview for it, but obviously his mind was already made up. It took me almost two years to get promoted, even though during that time, I was doing the job and was viewed as a leader by others in the organization. Even after my promotion, he treated me with no respect and made things difficult for me. I worked hard and tried not to let his opinion get to me, but I never forgot how he treated me.

Years have passed, and we both have moved on to other jobs. I have continued to move up, taking on more responsibility and achieving a senior title I never imagined.

Recently, I got a request from him through a social network to connect. As his note described, he has been recently let go "due to the tight market" and is wondering if I know of any "appropriate" positions for him. It may be a tiny bit evil, but I had to laugh out loud. There's a saying that came to mind: "Be careful of the toes you step on today as they may be connected to the ass you have to kiss tomorrow."

Dinnertime

2010-05-13T18:20:00.000-04:00

In preparation for the family birthday trifecta (sister Jenn's 40th, Dad's 70th and nephew Colin's 7th) this weekend, I arrived in Austin yesterday. (Working remotely for a few days, which is perfect timing to get my team's reviews completed.)

Yesterday afternoon, my bro-in-law Anthony was preparing to take the kids to piano and realized he hadn't figured out what to make for dinner. (Yes, he's pretty awesome.) I had to insist he let me cook for them. I usually just help out with clean up or kid stuff, but I realized I could help out and treat them to one of my favorite dishes at the same time.

I had an hour. I ran to the store and got the necessary ingredients, then came back and started cooking. I made guacamole for "appetizer" -- in quotations because we can't give it to the kids as such or they won't eat anything else -- wild rice, steamed broccoli and Chicken Guadalajara, which includes sauteed onions, peppers, chicken, cream (fat free) and monterey jack cheese. The kids and Anthony came home about 15 minutes before I finished, and Jenn walked in from a day of veterinarian-ing just at the ideal moment.

Dinner was a hit! Anna was exclaiming how much she liked the chicken, and I teased her that I made this exact dish for her 5 years ago (when she was only 4) while I was taking care of them. At that time, it just seemed too foreign to her, and she refused to try it. And Anthony gave me one of the best compliments, asking if I'd made this dish for any of the guys I've dated (yes) and wondering how that didn't win them over!

Colin was most impressed that I had thought of dessert. I bought three pints of ice cream in different flavors for us all to sample.

GED, the Meltdown

2010-05-12T20:29:00.001-04:00

(photo credit: my new friend in Paris, and fellow singleton blogger, Man-shopper)

When NM and I were planning our European vacation, Green-Eyed Dutchman (GED) had made another appearance and was, for the time, behaving quite attentively. Within a few weeks of our plane reservations, however, the unexplained-frustrating-depressing silence commenced. At first, of course, I didn't know the silence would only be broken by a 5-minute phone call two months later, and so initially, I was optimistic. That rapidly drained away with each passing week, but I did realize that I might be going to Amsterdam under very different circumstances than I had originally intended. And of course, that came to pass, and I was determined to enjoy the city regardless.

But it wasn't always easy. In fact, I found myself thinking of GED and both missing him and angry at him for how he completely dropped the ball.

In Paris, Irish Parisienne asked me if I would call him once I got to Amsterdam. I said no. Then she said she'd completely understand if I did, wanting to get an answer for his disappearance and closure for the relationship. I appreciated her support, and her words almost acted as permission for me to make the call. Because of course I was curious as to why someone would act so incredibly inconsiderate, especially given our original friendship and years of knowing each other.

So I did call and left him a voicemail letting him know I was in Amsterdam. I heard back from him the night before Queen's Day via email, saying he wasn't in the city but would call me the next morning. I finally got a text message from him late that afternoon saying he had gotten into the city. His next text message was 3 hours later, saying he had only just received my reply and obviously the networks were inundated with data. I let him know the hotel I was staying at by text, voicemail and email, and reminded him when I was leaving. And, as has become aggravatingly typical, I got no response.

A couple days after I returned to NYC, I got an email. Here are the highlights (and my thoughts):
"I feel like an idiot..." Good, you should.
"I was just too indolent to put more efforts in finding you..." Apparently.
"I am sorry Em" Too little, too late.
"You deserve so much more than the way I have treated you." I agree.

At least at this point, I'm not taken by surprise or devastated. I'm actually completely fine with closing this chapter and moving on. And that's a really great place to be, especially with this particular man.

A Day in London

2010-05-10T21:03:00.000-04:00

We arrived to a cloudy, rainy day in London (is there any other kind?) although the sun poked through the clouds a few times to make for some great pictures. Having just the one day and one night in the city, we limited our expectations to Harrods, Kensington Park and Hyde Park.

Our hotel was in Kensington, located next to the park, and I captured these pictures of the Prince Albert Memorial, Kensington Palace and the Park to and from Harrods.

Although I've been to England many times, it was my first time to Harrods. The complete-shirt bib and the polite sign about carding minors gave me a chuckle.

Dinner was a delectable treat at a fancy Indian restaurant that came highly recommended by all of the hotel's concierges. The chef combined Indian favorites with skills he learned in France and Italy, and we left very satisfied.

And then my vacation was at an end. I came home exhausted but refreshed. I definitely will go to Paris again (so much more to see!) and of course, with so many loved ones in England, I will also be there again in the future, although probably not London. I think I'm done with Amsterdam, at least for now. And I still have to update you all about that.

Party in Amsterdam

2010-05-09T22:42:00.000-04:00

After a peaceful and beautiful train ride through France and Belgium, we arrived at Amsterdam Centraal Station around mid-day. We checked into our hotel and had a delicious lunch at a cafe on Museumplein, seeing preparations already underway around the city for Queen's Day (April 30), the biggest national holiday in the Netherlands to celebrate the Queen's birthday. Originally our plan was to hit the Van Gogh museum after lunch, but my travel partner said she was tired and would prefer to do the Heineken museum.

I like the Heineken museum. First, because they give you two beers as part of your tour, and second, they've done a great job incorporating multimedia elements to bring the beer brewing process to life. We enjoyed it.

The next day we went out of the city to Keukenhof Gardens, known for its beautiful tulips. I had first heard of Keukenhof nearly a year before, and when we planned our trip for April, I knew the tulips would be in full bloom. They did not disappoint. Tulips in every color were a feast for the eyes. I couldn't stop taking pictures! They were so beautiful.

Then we went to the Anne Frank Museum -- amazing and moving -- and took a canal cruise. And that night was the eve before Queen's Day. Festivities were already underway, and we enjoyed the music and laughter on the Leidesplein. And I had fun dancing with this adorable guy.

The next day was Queen's Day, and everyone was wearing orange. It was amazing how many people were in the streets. There were street fairs and carnival booths and concerts. Everywhere you went there were crowds and a party. To escape that for a bit, we toured the Van Gogh museum, always amazing, although I missed Starry Night this time. It must have been out on loan to another museum. We didn't really engage in Queen's Day. NM really didn't like the crowds, and we were both tired from all the activities we'd been packing into each day. But we did see entrepreneurial kids -- not selling lemonade -- selling Heineken! I had to take a picture.

And the next morning we flew to London for a one-day stopover.

Size

2010-05-07T17:53:00.000-04:00

My mom (!) sent me an email with an attachment about the human body. I work in the health field and have always been interested in medicine and science, so I imagined it would have interesting facts about anatomy.

And it did.

Including, "the penis of an average man is three times the size of his thumb."

This is great to open at work, complete with a nude-y picture, albeit very tastefully done.

And it makes you wonder, doesn't it?

Celebrating May

2010-05-05T17:51:00.006-04:00

I promise to post about the rest of my trip soon. It's just that it's been so busy, and I'm sick with a cold, and I'm still feeling a bit of jetlag and all I want to do is sleep.

But it's May! It's my birthday month! (Yes, I like to celebrate all month long.) It's also Mother's Day, my sister's 40th, my dad's 70th, my nephew's 7th, and Fleet Week in NYC. Plenty of reasons to celebrate.

To kick it off right, I got myself a birthday gift at Duty Free in London. (In fact, I went a little crazy at Duty Free. All that savings kind of drove a bit of a shopping spree!) But this is something I've been wanting for awhile: an initial necklace from Tiffany's. And as Heathrow conveniently had a Tiffany's store, I decided to see if they had the necklace. They did!

I'd first seen the necklace on a friend of mine. I loved the simplicity and elegance of it, but I just haven't gone to one of the Tiffany stores to check out my initial. I'm thrilled with my purchase and have worn it every day since I got it. Happy early birthday to me!

Paris...Ooh La La!

2010-05-03T21:41:00.001-04:00

Paris was absolutely gorgeous! The city is beautiful, and the weather was idyllic with highs in the 60's and 70's. There is so much to see there, and while we crammed in as much as possible, there are still more places that I want to see on my next trip.

We arrived so early on Saturday morning, most everything wasn't yet open. We walked down to the Champs Elysees and saw the magnificent Arc de Triomphe that Napolean had built to celebrate his troops successes. We found coffee -- I LOVED their coffee, so strong and smooth -- and walked down to the Seine and past the Eiffel Tower, although we saved going up for another day. That first day, we also took a lovely boat cruise, which provided me with a good basic understanding of how the city was laid out. We had a fantastic dinner that night in the Latin Quarter, but the beef left me with a massive tooth ache where the temporary crown is. I drugged myself up for the night and was able to keep it from getting that bad again by only chewing on one side of my mouth for the rest of the trip.

On Sunday, we went shopping, and we enjoyed exploring the little boutiques on Rue de Temple. I navigated the subway system to get us there, and I was impressed with its cleanliness, smooth ride and frequent trains. It was a very easy system to manage. After shopping, we toured Notre Dame, and we were allowed access even though a service was being held. We quietly walked around and respected the sanctity of the church, only taking photos without flash inside. Then we headed over to the Eiffel Tower, where after a quick line for tickets and a cursory look in our bags, we were whisked up to the incredible views of the city. We met some other Americans there, including two women from Houston and a family from Las Vegas, who are in Paris for a year to "learn the language." I envy them!

On Monday, we went to the Museum d'Orsay, but it was closed. And unfortunately, we ran out of time to go back. We walked over to the Louvre, which was open. The garden was fantastic, and I remembered my sister Steph mentioning to me how much she enjoyed it. The Louvre is absolutely massive, so we saw the two pieces we most wanted to see -- the Mona Lisa and the Venus di Milo -- and enjoyed several other pieces to get to those and back.

Monday night we had an amazing dinner at a restaurant that was recommended to me named for the chef, Jacques Cagna. Every course was a delight, but I especially enjoyed the escargot, which were served in mushroom caps and small boiled potatoes, and the crab bisque. After dinner, I was pretty tuckered out, but NM wanted to get a drink at the hotel bar. I started talking to a couple of men beside us, and played "wingman" for her, talking to the late-40's English married guy so she could flirt with the young French guy. I had a good conversation at least, but our whole party was repeatedly interrupted by this obnoxiously drunk Australian woman, who was draping and pressing herself against the two guys. Her friends tried ineffectually to pull her away, but she kept coming back. The young Frenchman was sweet and tried to calm her down when she got to the point of tears. The woman was really embarrassing herself. It was pathetic. But I did get a cute picture out from the evening:

Tuesday, our last day in Paris, we went to Sacre Couer, which is high on a hill in the Northern section of the city. There are many steep steps to get to the cathedral, and on the steps were mimes, sketch artists and musicians, along with groups of tourists enjoying the view. After a moving walk around the sanctuary and taking pictures of the gargoyles on the exterior, we walked down to the Moulin Rouge.

Back to the Champs Elysees for lunch and some shopping, we headed over to the Arc de Triomphe again to walk up 284 more steps to reach the summit and enjoy the view.

But the highlight of Paris for me was getting to meet and hang out with Irish Parisienne, my fellow singleton blogger and virtual friend for the past three years. It was exciting to meet her in person, and we hit it off immediately. She brought along a friend of hers (a girl originally from San Francisco) and we were joined by another Irish guy, and much later her boy-of-the-moment Frenchman. Irish Parisienne and I could have talked all night, filling in the details for each other about our blog stories, but out of respect for the others, we joined the larger conversation. Still, she asked me to regale them with a couple of my stories, and they responded with the appropriate exclamations and laughter.

The next morning, we headed to the train station, on our way to Amsterdam.

Va-Cay

2010-04-23T13:21:00.002-04:00

Today, I'm leaving on a plane for Paris. I got a temporary crown for my tooth, and the volcanic ash has cleared from the air. My friend Never Married and I are off to explore Paris, Amsterdam and London for the next weekend and a few days.

I'm SOOO excited and thrilled to be taking time off! I may or may not post to the blog. :-)

Living a Nightmare

2010-04-18T17:05:00.002-04:00

Have you ever had the nightmare about your teeth falling out? I've had it several times over the years. It's very distressing. Apparently, the dream interpreters say it symbolizes that you are anxious (that's true) and afraid you're going to lose something (my mind?).

Last night, after volunteering with Habitat for Humanity for the day on Staten Island, I was pretty tired and decided to just have a quiet night at home. I made myself a simple dinner with pasta and watched my Netflix. I treated myself with a few squares of dark chocolate for dessert, and as I bit down to savor the sweet richness, I heard a strange crunch. To my horror, half of one of my molars broke off. To be honest, I think it's one of the teeth I have a crown on, so it's probably actually half of a crown, but it's freaky and awful. I ran to the bathroom to look at it, and it's not pretty. I had to look at it several times last night because my mind is still having a difficult time processing it. I called my dentist and left a message with his service. He actually called me back himself. Since I'm not in terrible pain (just a little throbbing and sensitivity to cold), and since I'm travelling for work tonight and most of tomorrow, we agreed I'd come in Monday late afternoon.

It's really not too painful, but it's so creepy. But I guess it's not the worst nightmare to have come true. And at least it's only one tooth.

[I have several crowns -- due to cracking my teeth from clenching and grinding them. I've bitten through three night guards. Stress. Still working on reducing/managing that. I really don't think I come across as high-strung or Type A, but I internalize a lot. And my teeth are getting the brunt of it.]

Wanna be Friends?

2010-04-16T10:41:00.003-04:00

Yes, my dating life is so boring (non-existent) at the moment, the best I can do is Facebook spam. (Or is it spam?)

After the last one, I was pleasantly surprised to at least look at this one. I got a "Friend Request" from this guy:
From what I can see before we're officially Facebook friends, he's single, lives in Dallas, claims to be 34 (although he doesn't look older than 25 to me), and went to the high school I graduated from and apparently graduated the same year as I did although I am older than 34. (Doogie Houser?) His favorite music is listed as Rock and Roll and Frank Sinatra, and his favorite books? "Anything by Nicholas Sparks." If that wasn't suspicious enough, his description says "challenging but 'rewarding' like me." Sounds like a description on a dating site for what you're looking for, not a profile description on yourself.

It would be nice if this wasn't spam, although Dallas isn't very convenient for me anymore. What do you think? Should I friend him?

Gimme a Break

2010-04-12T18:51:00.000-04:00

Apparently, I've been overdoing it. Too much exercise (triathlon training), too strict on caloric intake, and too much work. My body is in stress overload, causing bouts of racing heartbeats, holding on to weight, and back muscle spasms. I know, it sounds so enticing you wish it was you, right?

I'm hard on myself. Maybe too hard. I push myself to do more, more, more, and I'm angry when my body doesn't respond the way I want it to. But it has been recommended to me that I try more relaxation techniques and cut back on the training. It's easier said than done. I feel guilty if I'm not doing something (running, biking or swimming) every day. The tri is less than two months away. This will be my fourth triathlon, and last year, I had my personal best time. I want to beat it, but if I can't do that, I want to at least match it. So this past weekend, I only did swimming. But I think I still did too much because my shoulders haven't stopped contracting, despite heat, stretching and massage.

It's difficult to turn off my perfectionist tendencies. I not only want to do it all, I want to do it WELL. My mind has been racing lately with everything I need to do, to the point where I get almost paralyzed, completely overwhelmed. I usually make lists and check things off one by one. But I also still need to work on saying "No." I'm not very good at that.

I'm really looking forward to my vacation. I'm travelling with my fellow singleton, Never Married (NM) to Paris, Amsterdam and London. I'm hoping to connect with other singleton bloggers in Paris and London and will be trying not to think of anyone in particular in Amsterdam. But mostly, it will be blissful to be away from my major stressors here and enjoying the beautiful spring in Europe. It can't come soon enough.

My Latest Offer

2010-04-09T09:41:00.003-04:00

I got the following message (with this punctuation and capitalization) through Facebook from a guy named "Church Victor:"

Hello dear your profile and pictures attract me to you,im an honest and easy going man who seek an honest and true date,im 39 and a devoted christian with an heart of gold,i await your resposnse to know if we can be entagled in the chemistry of love.
victor

Oh, and in case that wasn't appealing enough, his profile pic shows he's very rotund.

My response? BLOCK

My Easter Weekend

2010-04-07T18:06:00.000-04:00

[I started writing this two days ago but have gotten slammed lately with incredible amounts of work and unable to finish. I apologize for the un-timeliness.]

Friday night, I met up with my friend NM for dinner, and we were joined by my much-younger cousin who's a senior at West Point and one of his buddies. After dinner, three more much-younger guys joined us, and by the end, NM and I were really feeling the 16 year difference in our ages. It's hard for me to specify exactly what it was that left me feeling "old" about the conversation, but I was grateful to have camaraderie when NM turned to me as we left the bar/restaurant saying, "Wow, I feel OLD!"

On Saturday, I took advantage of the sunshine and rode my bike up to Central Park and back downtown. It's about 18 miles roundtrip. The weather looked beautiful, but it was actually a bit chilly, and although I wished I was wearing more than short-sleeves and bike shorts, I didn't want to turn back. So I kept moving and enjoyed seeing all the blooming trees in Central Park. There was a lot of pedestrian, roller-blading and cycling traffic to dodge, and the return trip was into the wind. I was sufficiently exhausted when I got home, but I did go out to meet some colleagues from work at an event in Tribeca that evening.

Sunday began with a great service at church, where we sang all the familiar, traditional hymns and had an egg hunt for the kids. Returning home, I crashed, falling asleep on the couch for a couple hours until my mom called. I felt drugged, so tired I couldn't keep my eyes open. But fortunately she woke me, because I had been invited to a piano-violin concert at a friend's in the Upper West Side.

This is a new friend, introduced to me over email by my cousin-once-removed. They went to university together many years ago, and at a recent family wedding, this cousin and my mom (first cousins) caught up. Because this part of the story is already too long, my cousin reached out and said I should absolutely meet his friend and his wife, who were fascinating, dear people. He is a professor of English, and she is currently on a grant in Italy, although I didn't catch what she's doing. The concert was fantastic: both instrumentalists are very talented and in sync with each other. Afterwards, my host served bouillabaisse with many kinds of seafood I don't usually eat! The flavor was delicious, but I'm a bit squeamish about texture and usually avoid squid and mussels, both of which were plentiful. I couldn't refuse, so I ate almost everything -- I couldn't do the little squid that looks like a mini-octopus. But I enjoyed the visit and conversation around the table immensely.

Quality

2010-04-02T18:03:00.002-04:00

This was sent to me by a friend. I like it and thought I'd share it:

"Women are like apples on trees, the best ones are on the top of the tree. The men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and don't want to get hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground -- that isn't so good but easy. So, the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality they are amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top because they value quality." - Anonymous

Un-friending

2010-04-01T22:28:00.003-04:00

We have new verbs in our vocabulary now, thanks to the Internet and social media. I'm fully immersed in these with my job, in part, helping clients figure out how to leverage social media. We "Google" people, places and things. If email or phone doesn't work, we can "Facebook" someone. And within that social network, we can "Fan" and "Friend" someone.

I've even had the experience of Un-Friending and Blocking someone on Facebook. Sometimes, like recently, I wish it was as easy to Un-Friend someone in person.

I know a guy going through a rough patch. I also know he likes me as more than a friend. He is currently in a relationship with a girl, but it's not going well. He likes to ask me for advice, but lately, I feel like he's also setting up his next move to ask me to be the next girlfriend. I'm NOT interested. AT ALL. He's not my type by any means, and I find him to be too self-absorbed and arrogant. And while he's decent enough looking, I don't find him attractive.

Lately, he's been asking me for more time and attention (pestering me). He calls, texts me, and asks me for time to meet in person, presumably to talk about his issues with his girlfriend. I've tried to be a good friend and have answered the phone, exchanged texts, and gone to lunch with him on several occasions. But I'm reaching the end of my limit.

When we walk down the street, he constantly leans into me, and my natural inclination is to move sideways. In this manner, we can diagonally cross an extra-wide sidewalk in one short block! He's also very touchy-feely, and I'm just getting to the point where I want to put about a mile in between us. I've never given him ANY encouragement that his feelings are returned. I've tried to be a good friend because I know he's going through a lot and we share a religious community.

But sometimes, I'm too nice for my own good. I know this, in theory, but I have a hard time setting boundaries with people. In the book "Eat. Love. Pray" by Elizabeth Gilbert, she describes herself:

" I have boundary issue with men. Or maybe that's not fair to say. To have issues with boundaries, one must HAVE boundaries in the first place, right?"

I can totally relate.

If at first you don't succeed...

2010-03-31T21:22:00.001-04:00

...try, try, try again. Or so the saying goes.

But sometimes, you really are better off giving up. Or calling it quits.

With two divorces under my belt, I'm afraid that maybe I give up too easily. Or at least it appears that way. To counteract that, sometimes I try too hard to make a bad relationship work. One example of this is my relationship with the Green-Eyed Dutchman.

I wrote last summer about how we met 12 years ago as well as how our relationship changed from friends to more 10 years ago and his visit last May. And then as we were talking about me moving over there, he disappeared on me. But I got sucked back in, after my friend and his friend passed away in November and we shared our grief. I visited GED for New Years and thought maybe it was finally the right time for us.

And then he disappears again. No contact. No replies to my emails or text messages. FOR TWO MONTHS.

I'm angry with him, but more angry with myself. You know, "First time, shame on you. Second time, shame on me." Third time? I'm just an idiot, hopeless romantic.

But I thought maybe this was my chance at Love. And I believed him when he said it would be different.

I did finally hear from him, and we had a brief telephone conversation. He apologized and said his world had gotten busy/stressful/crazy. He asked how I was. I was pleased that I was able to maintain my composure and told him his silence had devastated me but I was over it, moving on. (And I was pleased that this was true, not just words.) I was able to tell him that I wished he had had the balls to tell me how he felt about me, but from his actions, it was perfectly clear how [not] important I was. He denied that his actions reflected his feelings for me, but I reminded him it was him who told me, during my trip there in January, that he was the type of guy that didn't tell his feelings as much as demonstrate them through his actions.

He had called in the middle of my workday. The time zones is always a challenge, so he asked if he could call me on the weekend and explain more fully. That was two weeks ago. Still haven't heard that explanation, not that it matters at this point.

Enjoying the Simple Things

2010-03-30T20:45:00.000-04:00

I was in Austin last weekend for my niece Anna's 9th birthday. The weather was glorious. Texas is in full-spring, and the bluebonnets are just beginning to carpet the fields. Some of my favorite moments from the weekend:

Taking Anna to get her ears pierced. She was nervous about the potential pain but so excited. Fortunately, she found the pain wasn't that bad at all, and she was THRILLED with the results. She picked out some crystal blue flowers in her birthstone as her starter set. They sparkled almost as much as she did. She told me it was the best day of her life and that she wanted to run and shout for joy. (We were in the car at the time, so that exuberance wasn't able to be expressed.) She and I were both laughing, so happy -- she was excited to have braved the experience and at the opportunity to get to wear a new form of jewelry, and I was relieved she didn't have much pain and delighted at her excitement.
Watching a movie with my nephew Colin on my lap. This is definitely one of my favorite ways to watch movies, with a snuggly little guy. Although Colin is getting very long-legged and not so little anymore. But he was freshly showered and pajama-ed and I could snuggle into his neck and kiss his cheek. During a scary scene in the movie, he picked up my hand and put it on top of his chest.
Bollywood dance class with Jenn. Several months ago, I saw Jenn and her friend give an impromptu performance at her house after some liquid courage, and it looked like so much fun. I was excited to be able to join her for a class, although with it being my first class and in the middle of their season, I only got about 1/3 of the moves. But it was fun and good exercise.
Screaming as a "Mandrake" at the Harry-Potter-themed birthday party. Anna's party was all about Harry Potter, and Jenn had planned the activities around the characters and story. We made root beer floats into potions and replanted flowers pretending they were the ear-splitting mandrakes. Several of us adults screamed as the mandrakes. One of the kids said, looking at us like we were crazy, "It's not really the plants, it's just them screaming." But we were laughing, and Anna's face was beaming.

Selfishness Has Its Limits

2010-03-25T18:00:00.000-04:00

Last night, in the too-many-moments before I fell asleep, I realized another reason of why I'm ready for a relationship. I'm tired of just considering myself. While I realize there are benefits to being able to be selfish, it does get old. Sure, I get to choose what restaurant to eat at/order from, where I'll go on vacation or how to spend my money all by myself, but sometimes, it would be nice to have another person's opinion and perspective. Maybe I'm not sure WHAT I want to eat, and without inspiration I tend to fall back on the same restaurants or meals that I usually cook.

While a relationship requires compromise and inevitably brings conflict, I find myself a little bored with just me. Just one of those thoughts before dreamland.

Evasive Action

2010-03-22T08:41:00.000-04:00

First, let me thank Catherinette for bringing this BBC news story to my attention.

Upon responding to a domestic violence call, a female officer had to take "evasive action" to get out of the way of the suspect's penis being brandished as a weapon and waved about at her face.

I know guns aren't as commonplace in the UK as they are here, but this just made me laugh!

Escape

2010-03-19T18:05:00.000-04:00

[Whenever I see the word "escape" in print, the first thing that goes through my head is Ellen Degeneres's voice from "Finding Nemo" sounding out "Ess-cah-pay." It makes me smile.]

I came across this on the web: Create an Escape Plan

It’s driving you crazy. Quite possibly, it’s having a negative impact on your health. It’s time to escape. But how? You feel like you have no options – no way out. It’s time to sit down and make a list. A list of what you need to do to get out of the situation. A list of what you need to do to make a change.

I'm definitely feeling the itch to escape, and it's getting harder to ignore. I need to make a change, but how much? And am I ready for this? Change is risky, but doing the same thing and expecting different results is insane. I'm thinking through all the options, trying to plan for all contingencies. I hate the uncertainty, the in-between-ness. I much prefer once I've made a decision and am acting on it. But it's too big to make the decision lightly. So I'm making lists. Several items have question marks next to them and require research -- Google and talking to trusted friends and counselors.

At least I have my upcoming Europe trip with Never Married as a welcome distraction. We leave for Paris, Amsterdam and a day in London at the end of April.